


That Was Unexpected.

by FZZT



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: M/M, Swearing, There's going to be a lot of friendship on this train, friendship is awesome, like there'll be pedrazar - don't get me wrong - but there will be FRIENDSHIP!, the beanedick is kid of secondary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 19:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 42,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3086810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FZZT/pseuds/FZZT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Lovely Little Ficlets 2015!</p><p>A chance encounter leads Balthazar to meet the gang. He finds himself really liking everybody, and really-really liking somebody. But when his ex gets thrown into the mix, can he stick around and deal with it, or should he just cut his losses?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“For my new year's resolution, I’m going to walk the dog every day! It’ll be such fun!” Balthazar muttered sarcastically under his breath, as he clipped the lead onto Olly’s collar.

It was fine in practice; he did generally enjoy walking his dog. Even if he wasn’t in the mood for it, usually the sight of Olly’s tail wagging at the door when he heard the rings of the lead clinking was enough to put a smile on his face. However, this particular day was incredibly hot, and he was definitely regretting his promise. His pride wouldn’t allow him to give up on the first day of the year though, so he lathered on as much sunscreen as his skin could absorb, put on his hat, and opened the door. He was hit by a wave of heat; it was like walking out into an oven. This was becoming less enticing by the second.

He fell into his usual beat around the neighbourhood, nodding politely at the few people he saw. He had left it quite late, hoping it would cool down a bit once it hit evening-time, but if the temperature had changed, it wasn’t by a noticeable number.

Half way there, he thought to himself as Olly passed the green mailbox that split the route in two. There was no point complaining anymore, if he turned back now it would take longer to get home than if he kept going. Despite himself, his mood had improved slightly with the walk.

Until Olly decided to run for the hills that was.

They were walking along fine and dandy, when Olly made a break for it, and Balthazar, still holding the lead, ended up sprinting awkwardly behind him trying not to trip. He silently cursed Olly’s size; if he had been a smaller dog, Balthazar would have just dug his heels in and pulled him to a halt. But Olly was half as tall as him, and there was no way he was going to be able to bring the dog to a dead stop.

It seemed like hours before Olly began to slow down, eventually coming to a halt. In reality it was probably more like thirty seconds, but time was relative when your dog ended up walking you. Or running you, as the case was.

“You okay?” asked a voice.

Balthazar had been too busy catching his breath to realise _why_ Olly had stopped. Apparently, it was because of… Balthazar didn’t actually know his name. He was pretty sure the guy was in some of his classes in school, but they had never spoken before, and Balthazar was drawing a blank.

“Dude? You okay?” the guy sounded worried.

Balthazar shook his head quickly, coming back to reality.

“Yeah, I’m fine. A bit winded, but I’ll live,” he panted. Maybe he should take up running. He was pretty sure he shouldn’t be that out of breath after a thirty second sprint, even if it was a million degrees outside.

“Sure that’s to be expected, you shouldn’t be running in this heat, it’s probably dangerous. I’m Benedick by the way, I’m pretty sure we have English together,” he held out his hand.

Benedick, yeah that rang a bell.

I'm Balthazar," he replied, "are you in Ms Norris' year thirteen class?”

“Yeah I am, that’s a cool coincidence! And who is this?” Benedick finally succumbed to his obvious wish to pet Olly, who had been occupying himself by sniffing the life and soul out of the stranger's shoes.

“That’s Olly,” Balthazar laughed at his enthusiasm, “he’s a giant softy, so don’t be worried about his size.”

“Noted. Are you walking him?” Benedick looked up questioningly.

“Yeah, though he’s mainly been walking me to be honest.”

Balthazar leant down to give Olly a pat. As much as he hadn’t enjoyed being dragged halfway around the block, there was literally no way to stay even remotely disgruntled with him when his tail was wagging and he looked so happy. He knew that dogs didn’t actually smile, but they looked like they were sometimes, and that was good enough for him.

“Can I come with?” Benedick asked.

That was… Unexpected. But hey, Benedick seemed cool, so why the heck not?

“Yeah sure. I’m probably going to do another lap of the block and then head home, you’re welcome to join us.”

“Awesome! Can I nip in and get my phone? I’ll be two seconds.”

“Of course man, no rush, Olly and I will wait for you.”

Benedick turned and ran up his driveway into the house.

That was an unexpected interaction. Balthazar hadn’t spoken two words to the guy previously, and now they were going on a walk. He tried to think of what he knew about Benedick. He played football, and he was pally with the football crowd – Pedro Donaldson, Robbie Borachio, and that lot. Balthazar didn’t really have an opinion on them. He had watched them train a few times recently, though it wasn't intentional - he had taken to writing music out in the sunshine the past few months, and occasionally his music time overlapped with football training. They looked good – at football that was. Though, he admitted, they did look good in general too.

“Ready!” Benedick yelled as he came barrelling out of his house, startling Balthazar out of his reverie.

And they were off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to a series of one-shots, but then I started reading through the prompts and now I have a story. This won't be updated every day, I'm not even going to pretend, but I'll so my best to write as often as I can. I hope you like it!  
> (The rest of the gang will be introduced soon)


	2. Chapter 2

“So how was your Christmas and whatnot?” Benedick asked Balthazar as they started walking.

“Ah it was nice, lots of family stuff, you know how it is…”

“Oooooh yeah. Did Santa bring anything nice?”

“Santa brought the promise of a new guitar once I can decide on one.”

Benedick’s face lit up. Balthazar didn’t really know what to expect as he opened his mouth.

“I do know you! Like actually know you! You’re the music man!”

It seemed his reputation proceeded him. Well actually, his reputation had been lagging behind by about five minutes, but had eventually caught up. Balthazar’s impromptu, unwanted sprint probably left it in the dust.

“Yep, the music man, that’s me. Music is my life,” he wiggled his eyebrows for effect.

“We can hear you at football training, you’re always sitting in the other field. You play some Flight of the Conchords sometimes and it’s great. That’s my favourite, I think Pedro prefers Sheep Dog and Wolf though.”

That was definitely unexpected. It wasn’t technically a bad thing, he wasn’t trying to hide or anything, he just found it a bit odd that he had become a part of their routine without knowing. It shouldn’t have been surprising - he usually sat pretty nearby, and he never bothered to keep it down - but it had never occurred to him that they were actually listening. It was pretty cool that the captain of the football team had an opinion on his music though. He obviously had pretty good taste.

“It appears the football team has some taste. I didn’t think you guys could hear me,” he replied.

“Oh we can definitely hear you. You’re really good though, so we’re not complaining. We actually really like it, it’s nice to have a soundtrack to our sheer talent.”

“Ah yes, the incredible skill of the Messina High football team," Balthazar laughed, but there was no malice in it.

“Oh shut up, we’re not too bad.”

“Yeah you’re not actually. Some might even call you good.”

“Damn straight.”

They were nearing the end of Balthazar’s normal route, but he found himself wanting to continue. He liked Benedick, he was really easy to talk to. Olly, however, was having other ideas. As soon as they reached their usual turn off, he veered left towards home, dragging Balthazar along with him for the second time that day. This time he had help though. As soon as Olly made a break for it, Benedick stepped up and grabbed hold of the lead, saving Balthazar from another awkward sprint.

“Whoa thanks man, once a day is enough for me," Balthazar said.

“No bother at all. Does that mean you’re near home then?”

Apparently Benedick was pretty astute. Balthazar wouldn’t have guessed.

“It does indeed, I'm afraid I must bid you farewell.”

“Our love was short but sweet,” Benedick laughed. “Hey, I’m going to a get-together of sorts tomorrow in the park, do you want to come? Some of the lads from the football team will be there, and some others too. I think you’d like them.”

What? Well that was unexpected. Balthazar had only known the guy for twenty minutes, and now he was being invited out? Benedick was an odd one, that was for sure. But he didn’t have any plans, and the park would probably be quite nice in the heat, so he might as well give it a go.

“Wow, yeah, that sounds tops. Thanks man.”

“It’s my pleasure. I have a spare seat in my car if you want a lift? I definitely wouldn’t want to walk up the hill in this heat.”

“You sure? You barely know me, I could be a serial killer.”

“I'm sure. Even if you are a serial killer, you play good music, and you have a cute dog, so I’ll take my chances.”

“That’s very open-minded of you.”

“I pride myself on it.”

Olly strained at the lead, probably envisioning a cold bowl of water and a nap.

“I really need to go,” Balthazar said, gesturing down at the straining dog. They were both holding onto the lead, but Olly was still gaining ground, inch by inch.

“Go ahead, but what house are you so I can pick you up tomorrow?” Benedick asked.

“You see the house with the blue mailbox?” Balthazar pointed, “That’s me.”

“Right,” Ben nodded, “I will see you at two o’clock tomorrow.”

“Should I bring my ukulele?”

Ben’s face lit up. It had done that a lot over the conversation, it was really encouraging.

“Heck yeah bring your ukulele! Wow this is going to be great!”

Suddenly a bird shot out of the bush beside them, and Olly was off like a rocket, wrenching the lead away from Benedick, and pulling Balthazar along in his wake.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Benedick called behind him. Balthazar could _feel_ him laughing, but he didn't blame the guy.

“See you!” he yelled back with a grin on his face.

It hadn’t turned out at all like he expected, he thought to himself as he let Olly into the house, but in the end he was very glad he decided to stick to his resolution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really liking the Balthy and Benedick dynamic, I've haven't written anything with the two of them before. Ben's dialogue is my favourite to write (I think), he's so fun.  
> I hope you're enjoying this so far, I know I'm loving the influx of fics due to LLF!


	3. Chapter 3

Balthazar padded down the stairs the next morning, running his hands through his hair, as he tried to determine if it needed a wash or not. He was greeted by his sister Rosa as he entered the kitchen. She was already fed, dressed, and ready to be a functional human being. It was eleven in the morning and she had no urgent matters to attend to as far as he was aware; he had no idea why she would choose to be conscious.

“Rosa, do you think my hair needs-” he began.

“Yes,” she replied before he was through with his sentence, “yes I definitely think it needs a wash. It looks fine, but my intuition is telling me that’s only because you’re you and it always looks fine.”

Balthazar just stood there like a deer in headlights.

“Oh sorry did I use too many words for somebody who’s only been out of bed for a few seconds?” she asked jokingly.

He nodded.

“You’re the only person I know who can convey so much sarcasm with a simple nod,” she continued. Where was she getting the energy from?

“Yeah well, you know me,” he eventually said, crossing his fingers as he opened the fridge. Miracle of all miracles, there was some milk left. What a great start to the day. He wasn’t even being sarcastic – his parents were still on their Christmas holidays, and everybody had been too preoccupied with sitting and eating lately to bother going to the store.

“So have you got any plans for today?” Rosa asked him as he poured his cereal.

“Yeah actually,” he said between mouthfuls of sugary goodness, “I’m going out with some… friends.”

They weren’t actually friends yet; the only person he actually knew that was going was Benedick, and their only interaction was a twenty minute walk. But it was easier to just say friends and avoid an interrogation. Rosa was great, but she had a habit of poking her nose into his life.

The door to the kitchen flew open, startling him out of his thoughts, and his nana walked into the room. She liked to make an entrance.

“Stanley dear, I hope that isn’t the last of the milk, I don’t want to go without my morning tea,” she said as she planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Nana it’s like a million degrees outside, why would you want to drink boiling liquid?” he groaned.

She turned to him, her hands on her hips. Never had an eighty one year old, five foot tall lady wearing pink cat slippers looked so imposing. It was rather impressive actually.

“It's not boiling, that's what the milk is for! That's not your way of telling me that we’re out is it?”

“No, there’s some left there on the counter,” he gestured with his spoon.

“Good. Now what’s this I hear about you going out with friends? Tell me about them, and what are you doing? I hope you’re not just going to ‘hang around’ now, I don’t think your mother would be very happy with that.”

Oh dear lord. He sometimes forgot what his nana was like, but then the second she arrived for Christmas it all came flooding back to him. She was great though, he genuinely enjoyed her company, which is more than he could say for some of his relatives.

“It’s a picnic, so no we’re not just hanging around, though I don’t think mom would care to be honest, as long as there’s no trouble.”

“That’s almost bordering on cheeky _Stanley_ ,” Rosa quipped.

She took an extraordinary amount of pleasure from people using his first name. It was really only his nana, new teachers, and the people at the bank who ever called him Stanley. It always took him a second to realise they were talking to him. There had been one incident with a substitute maths teacher, when she called him Stanley when taking the register, and he ended up being marked absent because he didn't reply. That was fun to explain to his parents.

“Now Rosa, leave your brother alone,” his nana told her. Balthazar stuck his tongue out from across the table.

“You didn’t answer my question,” she continued, “tell me about your friends.”

Right, time to make some stuff up. Well, it was more like stretching the boundaries of the truth.

“Okay, well there’s Benedick, he’ll be giving me a lift to the park later. He’s on the football team, he’s funny, and he likes dogs. Then there’s some other people from the football team, like…” he drew a blank on any names for a second, and his nana looked at him, her eyebrow raised. “Pedro!” he said triumphantly, “There’s Pedro, he’s the captain of the football team, and he’s also the Student Leader in school, and he’s really nice and stuff.”

“Nice and stuff,” she said dryly, “he sounds like quite the catch.”

“Nana!” Balthazar huffed in embarrassment. That was unexpected. He wouldn’t usually mind her comments, but he didn’t actually know the guy, so that was probably why it felt a bit weird.

“I know, I know,” she waved down his objection, “you young people don’t like to talk about things like that. Tell me more.”

“Well, em…” Balthazar shot Rosa a desperate look. She rolled her eyes and sighed, but he hoped she could see that he really didn’t want this conversation. They were the only two names he actually knew out of the people who were going, and he didn’t want to out-right lie to his nana.

“Nana, I’m going to the store now, do you want to come with?” Rosa asked, shooting Balthazar a look that meant he definitely owed her.

“Oh yes, that sounds fun, I’ll be able to show you those special crackers I was telling you about the other day!”

Phew, that worked.

“Balthazar do you want to come,” Rosa asked sweetly.

“No I’m just fine here,” he replied, layering his voice with just enough sarcasm so that Rosa would hear it, but his nana wouldn’t notice.

“Okay Stanley, enjoy your picnic if I don’t see you before then, and say hello to Bene-whatever and Pedro for me,” his nana kissed his head as she grabbed her bag and pottered out the door after Rosa.

That was an exhausting breakfast.

“And wash your hair!” she yelled, just before the front door slammed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the image of Balthazar's nana as much as I do! I doubt it though, because I really love it.


	4. Chapter 4

Balthazar had been staring at his blazer for the past five minutes. It was too hot outside to wear it, but it was his favourite, and he really wanted to. Was death worth it? He would surely die if he took a step outside his beautifully air-conditioned house in it, but he would look sharp in the process.

He jumped as the doorbell rang. That would be Benedick. He gave a last sigh towards his blazer, grabbed his keys and his ukulele from his desk, and made his way downstairs. There was nobody else in the house; his parents had gone out somewhere, and Rosa was still at the store with his nana.

He opened the door, expecting to see Benedick, but instead he was greeted by a rather awkward looking Pedro Donaldson.

“Um, hello, Ben’s just gone around the block to pick up Beatrice, and I am under strict instructions to be standing at the end of your driveway with you in exactly five minutes,” he said, all in one breath.

“Oh okay,” Balthazar replied, not really knowing what to say, “just let me stick on the alarm.”

He locked the door behind him, checking it twice for luck. He couldn’t even remember why he started that habit, but now he did it every time he left the house. He’d like some luck on his side anyway. He had said yes to the invitation without thinking, but he’d had butterflies in his stomach for the past hour, and he it had taken him far too long to pick out what to wear.

“Do you want me to carry that?” Pedro asked, motioning to the ukulele swinging by Balthazar’s side.

“Nah man I’ve got it, don’t worry about it.”

“Alright.”

They stood at the end of the driveway in awkward silence, and Balthazar willed Benedick’s car to turn the corner. Even though he didn’t really know Benedick, or Ben as Pedro called him, he knew the guy could talk.

“So…” Balthazar began, just as Pedro opened his mouth to say something.

“You go,” he said, waving to Pedro to continue.

“Nah bro, you go ahead.”

“No seriously, I didn’t have anything to say, I was just trying to fill the silence, you go,” he said sheepishly.

“Okay then. I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Pedro.”

“I know that, you’re the freakin’ Student Leader. I’m Balthazar.”

“The Music Man.” The way Pedro said it indicated capital letters were involved.

“That’s me,” Balthazar wiggled his eyebrows.

“You’re really good you know,” Pedro told him seriously.

“Thanks man, you’ve only heard me strumming around though, nothing solid.”

Pedro raised an eyebrow at him. “Nothing solid? You have literally been the only thing that got me through some of those training sessions, if that’s nothing solid then you must be fucking brilliant.”

Whoa okay. That was unexpected. Was meeting new people always this much of an ego boost? Because he could get used to this kind of praise – especially if it was coming from Pedro bloody Donaldson. He shushed that part of his brain; that was not why he was here. He wanted to make friends with these people, not... Anything else.

“Well thanks man, I’m glad I could help the glorious Messina High football team,” he mock saluted, causing Pedro to laugh.

“Your service is much appreciated,” he saluted back, “but in all seriousness, you’re really good.”

“Well thank you.”

They stood there for a few minutes chatting lightly about school, until Pedro stopped talking and looked at him weirdly.

“What?” Balthazar asked, ever so slightly weirded-out.

“Have you got glitter in your hair?” Pedro asked.

Had he? He pulled down a strand of his hair to check. Yep, that was definitely glitter. He had literally no idea how that could have happened. Unless…

“Ah shit, I think I might have used my sister’s shampoo.”

“Your sister has glitter shampoo? I didn’t think that even existed.”

“Yeah, well, you can’t say that anymore.”

Balthazar ruffled his hair trying to get some of it out.

“Is this helping at all?” he asked Pedro, who was obviously trying not to grin. He wasn’t succeeding.

“Do you want the straight answer?”

Balthazar nodded, and a small cloud of glitter puffed out of his hair.

“It’s not helping, I think you might actually just have brought it all to the surface.”

“Great,” Balthazar said sourly. Bloody Rosa, how dare she leave her shampoo exactly where it always was and expect him not to pick it up accidentally. That sounded off even to him. He might as well face it, he had glittery hair and it was entirely his own fault.

“It looks good if that helps at all,” Pedro said, “I feel like not everybody can pull of glittery hair, but you’ve definitely managed it.”

Did Pedro Donaldson just tell him he looked good? It appeared Pedro also realised what he had said, because his face reddened slightly. He didn’t take it back though, which was cool. Balthazar absolutely, definitely, didn't file that look away. Nope.

“Well that’s good news at least. Maybe I’ll make it a permanent look.”

Pedro opened his mouth to reply, a smile on his face, but before he could say anything Ben’s car turned the corner and pulled up beside them.

“Hop in guys, the Ben-mobile has arrived!”

Pedro opened the door, and gestured for Balthazar to enter.

“What a gentlemen,” somebody said from inside the car.

“I do my best Beatrice,” Pedro replied as he climbed in beside Balthazar.

Ah, so that was Beatrice. Balthazar recognised her from school; she was in a few of his classes, but like Benedick and Pedro, he had never spoken to her before.

“Hi, I’m Beatrice,” she told him, holding out her hand from the front seat.

“Balthazar,” he replied as he shook her hand.

“Right, so now that we all know each other,” Ben said, “let’s vote on songs. There are two choices; we have my favourites playlist, or my most-played playlist, both of which are pretty much the exact same. Take your pick.”

“Of course that’s all you have,” Beatrice groaned at him, “that’s so typically you.”

“If by that you mean brilliant and thoughtful, then yes, it is so typically me,” Benedick replied without missing a beat.

They continued back and forward for a while, never slowing down or stopping.

“Are they always like this?” Balthazar whispered to Pedro beside him.

“They literally never stop,” he said, “but don’t worry, you get used to it.”

Balthazar liked the thought that he would be around long enough to get used to their bickering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of picturing Bea and Ben at the fond-arguing stage.


	5. Chapter 5

The car journey passed quickly, and before Balthazar knew it they were at the park. He had particularly enjoyed watching strangers walking up the giant hill from the air-conditioned comfort of Ben’s car. It was refreshing; both physically and spiritually.

A small cluster of people standing around a tree waved at the car as it passed on the hunt for parking.

“That's the gang,” Pedro told him, pointing them out one by one, “I’ll introduce you once we get out, they’re all fairly nice.”

“Except Hero, she’s a menace!” Ben said from the front seat, yelping when Beatrice slapped his arm.

“Hero is Beatrice’s cousin,” Pedro explained, seeing his confused look.

“Ah okay.”

Ben whooped with joy when he found a parking space – it appeared half the world had decided to take advantage of the weather in the same way as them.

“Right,” Ben shouted instructions as they climbed out of the car, “Pedro Mc-Muscles you can carry the picnic basket, courtesy of Ursula. Beatrice you’re on blanket duty. Balthazar you are on cushions, and I am going to reward myself for my magnificent driving by doing nothing at all.”

“How will we know the difference?” Beatrice asked dryly.

“Oh ha ha. You’re welcome for the lift by the way.”

“I said thank you! Don’t pretend I didn’t, you made enough of a fuss over it,” they walked over to the others without stopping their bickering.

“Seriously, all the time?” Balthazar asked Pedro incredulously as he piled several cushions up into his arms. They weren’t at all heavy, but there was a fair few of them so it took some balance.

“Unfortunately yes,” Pedro huffed, swinging the picnic basket out of the car. Balthazar took a moment to let himself be impressed before forcing his gaze away. It _so_ wasn’t the time for drooling.

All of a sudden he heard a familiar voice shout his name. Was that Ursula? He tried to peer around the pile of cushions in his arms without dropping any, but to no avail. Life would be so much easier if he had another foot of height.

“Balthy, oh my god hi!” The top half of the cushions were taken from him, and he could finally see who it was. He was right, it was Ursula, Awesome! He and Ursula weren’t super-close, but they shared a lot of classes, and he really enjoyed talking to her. She was a genuinely nice person as far as he could tell, and they got along well. He had no idea she was pally with Benedick and Pedro though. It was unexpected, but he was definitely glad to see her.

“Hey Ursula, I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” he said, a grin on his face. He had been more than a little bit worried about not knowing anybody, but now he could put those fears to rest. They were probably unfounded anyway; so far Benedick, Pedro, and Beatrice had been really easy to talk to, but there was always that niggling doubt.

“I could say the same about you,” she replied, “come on over and meet the gang.”

They walked over to the others, who were in the middle of setting out the picnic. Balthazar noticed Pedro giving him and Ursula an odd glance, but he didn’t dwell on it. He was probably just surprised that they knew each other.

Ben looked up as Balthazar laid down the cushions beside him.

“Oh hey guys, this is Balthazar,” he announced. “Balthazar you’ve already met Pedro and Beatrice, and you appear to know Ursula too, so this is Meg, Hero, and Claudio,” he pointed to each of them in turn. Balthazar knew Meg from school, and he recognised Claudio from the football team, but he had never met Hero before as far as he could remember.

“Em, hi everyone,” he said awkwardly. He wasn't an awkward person in general, but introducing himself to a large group was always a bit off-putting.

“Sit down,” Meg instructed him, “we don’t bite. Hard.”

Beatrice rolled her eyes at that. “Meg you sound like the Facebook bio of a ten year old girl.”

“As far as I am aware, you were a ten year old girl once, so there’s no need to be so judge-y," Meg sniffed at her.

Beatrice sat back, looking rather surprised. That is until Ben made a slam-dunk motion, which set everybody else laughing, and earned him another slap. Beatrice was laughing along with them, however, so as far as Balthazar could tell, absolutely nothing between the two of them was meant in a mean-spirited way. They had an… interesting dynamic.

He watched the conversation for a few minutes, dipping in every now and again. He was getting the sense that he quite liked these people, despite only being around them for less than an hour. Then the conversation turned to him.

“So how did you and Ben meet?” Pedro asked him.

“Oh it’s actually a funny story,” Ben chimed in, “tell him Balthazar.”

He settled back to explain what happened.

“Right, so I’m out walking Olly okay? Olly’s my dog,” he began. “It’s all nice and casual, he’s stopping every now and then to sniff some trees and whatnot, when all of a sudden he decides to run for the hills as fast as he can, and I’m sprinting along behind him.  Imagine a big shaggy white dog the height of my stomach, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, racing for all he’s worth, and I’m behind him being dragged along with absolutely no control whatsoever. Then we get to Benedick, and Olly just stops and starts sniffing his shoes like nothing happened.”

The others laughed at the image, and Balthazar relaxed. He was always a bit hit-and-miss when telling stories, and he was particularly glad he nailed this one.

“I would pay actual money to see that,” Claudio said, “it sounds hilarious.”

“It was,” Ben told him, “they just came barrelling out of nowhere, I thought they were going to run me over, but then they just stopped right in front of me. I mean I understand that even dogs want to be near me, but it was a bit ridiculous.”

“Oh you’re so funny Benedick,” Beatrice said in a false-peppy voice, and they quickly started up their bickering again.

“Don’t be put off by them,” Hero told him, handing him a cookie, “they’re literally always at each other’s throats. It’s their weird, intense, form of flirting.”

That got their attention.

“We are not flirting,” Beatrice cried in disgust, though Balthazar noticed her cheeks reddening ever so slightly.

“Yeah guys, as if I would ever flirt with Beatrice over here,” Ben huffed, miming devil horns.

“Okay, okay,” Meg said loudly, “that’s enough bickering for today!”

“Yeah you’re right,” Pedro announced. Usually that wouldn’t be an _announcement_ , but coming from Pedro it sounded like one. "Who's up for a game of football?"

"Whoop football yes!" Ben yelled, jumping up and running out of the shade onto the field.

"Yeah football sounds fun," Hero said. 

After clarifying that everybody was in agreement, Pedro stood up and started splitting them into teams.

"Claudio, Ben, Hero, and Meg, you guys are on one team, and then Ursula, Beatrice, and Balthazar, you guys are with me okay?"

They split off into separate team huddles.

"Okay," Beatrice whispered once the four of them were gathered around, "Balthazar how are you at football?"

"Oh I have my days."

"Right then, you'll be up front. I'll go in midfield, Pedro you're defence, and Ursula you're in goal, how does that sound?"

Nobody had any problems with the plan, though Balthazar was a little bit nervous about playing attack. Hopefully his proximity to the team over the past few months had led to some form of football-skill osmosis effect. He was definitely looking forward to actually playing though, he was tired of just watching. They stuck their hands in the middle for a team cheer and spread out onto the pitch, waiting for the others so the game could begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five days in a row, that is much better than I ever saw myself doing! Hopefully my streak will continue, but now that I've said that, it probably won't happen. Ah well.  
> I hope you're enjoying the story so far!


	6. Chapter 6

“Balthazar you are literally the eighth wonder of the modern world,” Beatrice beamed at him as they collapsed in the shade of the tree after the match.

They had played for a half hour, none of them willing to run around in the heat for any longer than that. There hadn’t been much action in terms of goals, but Beatrice and Benedick had played on separate teams, so the competition was enormous.

However, there had been one goal, and to his intense surprise Balthazar had been the one to score it.

There had been about five minutes left in the game, and he was feeling pretty good about his performance. Being limited to four players on each team had led to a pretty scrappy match, but he had held his own. His general strategy was to barrel in and hope for the best, and it was working, probably due to the fact that Benedick and Claudio were used to playing against opponents with some measure of skill, and were a bit taken aback by Balthazar’s methods. Whatever the reason, he had an absolute ball. He mentally high-fived himself for the pun.

Then there was the actual goal. Beatrice had successfully dribbled the ball past Ben, who was also playing midfield of course, and passed it to Balthazar. After the moment of “oh shit” which had accompanied his every touch of the ball, he ran around Claudio, who sneezed at that exact moment, and pelted the ball past Meg, who had been doing a bang-up job as goalkeeper up to then. The last five minutes had passed quickly - both teams almost completely devoid of energy.

They were lying down under the tree, watching the losing team pick up the cushions they were using as goal-posts.

“Seriously though Balthy, it was a great goal,” Ursula said, handing him a water bottle.

“Thanks,” he accepted it gratefully. He was parched.

“I speak the truth.”

“She does,” Pedro agreed. “To Balthazar,” he toasted, before draining the end of his water bottle. Balthazar absolutely, definitely, _positively_ didn’t stare at his neck as he drank. There was no casual-objectification going on. Nope.

“It appears the _losers_ are finished collecting the cushions,” Beatrice said. They were each carrying a bundle, and looking rather dejected, especially Claudio. The reason soon became apparent as they drew within earshot.

“I can’t believe you fucking sneezed,” they heard Benedick say. “I mean really, hay-fever? We lost because of your hay-fever? That's so funny!”

“Yeah man I’m cracking up,” Claudio snapped at him. If looks were bullets, Benedick would be riddled.

“Benedick stop bullying your friends,” Beatrice said.

“You’re one to talk,” he replied, his voice oddly serious. Beatrice opened her mouth to retort, but didn’t say anything. She sat back frowning, and Pedro gave her a weird look.

“Nice goal though Balthazar,” Hero told him, drawing his attention back to the conversation.

“Hero you can’t say that to the competition!” Ben said with mock-frustration.

“I can and I did,” she replied curtly. She sat down beside Beatrice, who was looking thoughtfully down at her hands. She perked up once Hero nudged her, though she did shoot an odd glance at Ben. Balthazar was pretty sure he was the only one who noticed. That was until he made eye-contact with Ursula, who shook her head with a smile.

“Fine!” Ben threw up his hands. “Good game Balthazar.”

“Thanks man.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking these past few minutes,” Ben began importantly, before pausing and looking at Beatrice expectantly.

“What?” she asked him, clearly a bit weirded-out.

“Nothing, it’s just every time I say that around you, you always jump in with a quip about not straining myself or something,” he sounded a bit hurt.

“Oh well I’m so sorry that I decided not to make fun of you,” she laughed, “I won’t make that mistake again.” She didn't sound like she found it all that funny. However, Benedick looked pleased, so clearly he wasn't picking up on anything.

“Right,” he continued, “I’ve been thinking these past few minutes about makeup, an-”

“Ben what is this going to be?” Claudio groaned, cutting him off.

“Hear me out man! I was thinking about makeup, but not just in the physical sense. Like physically, makeup puts a front out to the world, and makes you look a bit different, which obviously isn’t a bad thing - that's what it does. So I started thinking about how people only see one thing about others, and how that’s kind of like makeup. They see what’s on the outside, like one trait or something, and that’s all they think the other person is. Balthazar, I’m going to use you as an example if you don’t mind?”

“Em sure man, knock yourself out,” Balthazar didn’t really know where this was going, but he might as well find out.

“Great, so before I met Balthazar yesterday, all I knew about him was that he played music. That is literally the only thing I knew, and I kind of thought of him as the music –not as a person. But now I’m finding out that he’s funny, and nice, and good at football, and it’s been a bit of an eye opener. I just wanted to say that,” he finished, gesturing at somebody to pick up the conversation.

That was… Unexpected. It was actually a really nice thing to hear, but it was interesting as well. Balthazar was definitely guilty of defining people by one trait, and now that he thought about it, that wasn’t a good thing to do. He was missing a lot of friendship opportunities in doing so. Looking around the circle, he could probably assign a stereotype to everyone. But that was doing himself, and them, a disservice. Who knew Benedick Hobbes of all people would make him think so deeply?

Wait, he did it again. He had classified Ben as a typical loud-mouth joker person with nothing serious to say. Ben was right, it really was an eye-opener.

“Benedick,” Pedro said slowly, “that’s actually pretty damn true. My mind is kind of…” he made an explosive motion with his hands.

“Yeah Ben, I really like that,” Meg agreed. “It’s about overcoming stereotypes and all that, and that’s really important.” She directed the last part at Beatrice, who didn’t seem to notice. She was whispering quietly to Hero.

Claudio stretched out his arms, and glanced at his watch.

“Guys, not to interrupt the deep musing or anything, but it’s half three, can we eat the food now?” he asked.

Balthazar suddenly became aware that he was extremely hungry. Apparently running around having heaps of fun in the million-degree heat left you completely famished. Who would have known?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure what this chapter is doing. The prompt was "makeup", and it just kind of happened...


	7. Chapter 7

“Alright,” Pedro said once there were only crumbs left, “truth or dare?”

“Truth or dare?” Claudio asked incredulously.

“Yep.”

“We’re not actually doing that are we?” he groaned.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not fourteen.”

“Oh come on,” Meg nudged him, “it’ll be fun.”

“Fine, alright, truth or dare it is,” he conceded. “Pedro you’re first, because it was your idea.”

“Fine by me,” Pedro said, reaching for a water bottle with a smile on his face. “I choose dare, take your best shot.”

“Wait one second,” Hero yelled suddenly, making everyone jump. She pulled out her phone, and began typing furiously.

“What?” Pedro asked.

“I have an idea. I’m going to search for some dares, and they’re the ones we’ll do. Hopefully they’ll be really stupid and funny.”

“You, my dear cousin, are a genius,” Beatrice said.

“I try. Ah! I’ve got some!”

She passed the phone to Claudio, “take your pick.”

He scrolled for a second before his face lit up with glee. “Hero this is the best idea you’ve ever had,” he said. “Pedro, I dare you to tuck in your shirt and drop an ice cube down your front. You must then perform a break-dance until the ice cube shakes out or melts.”

Pedro choked on his water. “What?”

“Don’t blame me, blame the internet. Somebody pass Pedro the cooler bag so he can fish out some ice.”

Ursula passed it to him with a grin on her face. “I bet you’re so glad you suggested truth or dare,” she told him, somehow managing to keep her tone even, despite her smile.

“Oh ha ha, you just wait for your turn.”

Pedro stood up, the ice-tray in his hand. He tucked in his shirt, grimacing as he perused the selection of ice-cubes.

“They’re bloody huge!” he complained.

“That’s what she said,” Balthazar quipped.

There was a moment of silence. It was broken by the sound of Ben’s delighted laughter, which was soon followed by everybody else.

“Balthazar, I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you,” Meg said once they all settled down, “but don’t think this gets you off the hook Pedro, put that ice down your shirt and start break-dancing!”

What followed was one of the most entertaining spectacles Balthazar had ever had the pleasure to witness. It was gold from start to finish – from Pedro’s face when the ice made contact, to his relieved sigh when it finally melted and he collapsed onto the grass. But nothing could compare to his awkward, jerky attempts at break-dancing.

Pedro collapsed down beside him.

“Right, my turn. Balthazar, truth or dare?”

Oh crap, which to pick? Should he go with truth? As anybody who was even vaguely acquainted with the game knew, truth always ended up a question you didn’t want to answer, it was just the way of the world. But he also didn’t want to put ice down his shirt.

“Dare,” he decided eventually, deeming it the lesser of two evils.

“Just what I was hoping you would say,” Pedro grinned evilly. Balthazar completely ignored the jolt in his stomach that accompanied the grin.

“So what’s it going to be?” he asked, trepidation in his voice.

“I’m just going to scroll and pick one at random,” Pedro replied, closing his eyes and scrolling dramatically. “Aaaaaand, now! Okay Balthazar, it looks like you are going to put on a blindfold and feel another players face to see if you can guess who it is by touch alone. Wow, these dares are really weird.”

That could have been a lot worse.

“Does anybody have a blindfold?” Ursula asked, looking around as if hoping one would suddenly appear in mid-air.

“Not a blindfold per say,” Claudio said, peering into the picnic basket, “but I have a cloth napkin and some string, will that do?”

“Perfect.”

Balthazar closed his eyes as the make-shift blindfold was placed over them. It was a bit odd not being able to see, but it wasn’t unpleasant per say.

“Cover your ears while we decide who it’ll be,” Hero told him, “and no cheating!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

He hummed to himself for about a minute before he was tapped on the shoulder.

“Hold out your hand,” said somebody in a fake-deep voice.

He did as he was told, moving slowly so that he wouldn’t hit them in the face. He pulled back a bit once his hand made contact, before pressing on and exploring the person’s face. He was pretty sure from the feel of it that it was either Benedick or Claudio, but he couldn’t decide between the two.

“I’m not entirely certain,” he said, “but I think it’s Benedick.”

He opened his pulled off his blindfold to reveal Claudio standing in front of him.

“Incorrect I’m afraid,” Claudio sighed as he sat back down.

“How could you think Claudio was me?” Ben asked, sounding a bit offended.

“Oi mate, watch your tone! You should take that as a compliment,” Claudio laughed.

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Okay, so it’s my turn to pick someone,” Balthazar said, looking around to choose his victim. “Beatrice, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she said after a moment of deliberation.

“Well lucky for you, there is also a truth section to this wonder of a website. Let’s see. Somebody give me a number between one and fifty.”

“Seventeen,” Ursula said.

“Seventeen… Seventeen,” Balthazar scrolled. “Right, seventeen.” He read it quickly, then glanced up to see who was sitting to the right of Beatrice. Oh dear lord this was going to be good.

“This is a bit weird, so remember that this is the internet, not me. Hypothetically, what would you say on the two year anniversary of your loving relationship with the person on your right? And yes, it does specifically say loving.”

Balthazar took back what he said earlier about the highlight of his day - Beatrice’s face when she realised Benedick was on her right was the best thing he had ever seen. She went from curious to horrified in less than a second.

“Oh my god no,” she protested, “don’t make me do it!”

“Come on Beatrice,” Ursula teased, “unless you want to forfeit?” The look on her face made it abundantly clear that the forfeit would be ten times as bad as the truth.

“Ugh fine!” she threw up her hands. “Let it never be said that I, Beatrice Duke, backed down!”

That was unexpected. Balthazar had been certain she’d take the forfeit, but apparently her pride wouldn’t allow it.

She visibly steeled herself before turning to Benedick.

“Benedick Hobbes,” she began, grimacing, “my beloved. I am so eternally grateful to have you in my life. You are the light of my life, my _raison d’être_! Without you, there would be a dickface-sized hole in my heart!”

“You can’t be mean!” Pedro objected.

“It was affectionate!” she snapped back, before realising her mistake. “No, no, I didn’t mean that, I-” she objected, but it was too late.

“So you’re being affectionate when you call me dickface?” Ben said, half-triumphantly, half-cautiously.

“No, it was acting, I was doing my truth, which, let’s be honest guys, was definitely a dare in disguise!”

“No, no Beatrice, let’s not deflect,” Meg teased.

“I’m not deflecting!” she cried, her face turning an impressive shade of scarlet.

“It was you that said it, we’re not making anything up!” Hero said gleefully.

“Not you too!” Beatrice groaned, hiding her head in her hands. “Look guys, I was playing the part, _dickface_ is in no way an affectionate term, so let’s shut up about it and move on!”

Balthazar wasn’t sure if she looked ready to explode or to flee. Either way it probably wouldn’t end well if she was pushed too far. Luckily Hero seemed to realise the same thing.

“Okay, okay, we’ll let it go,” she said, attempting to calm the situation. “Won’t we guys,” she motioned to them.

There was a chorus of grumbling, but everybody seemed to agree.

“Thank you!” Beatrice exclaimed, still red-faced. Is it my turn now, or we done with this stupid game?”

Benedick, sitting slightly behind Beatrice, was looking at the back of her head with a thoughtful smile on his face. However, she didn't notice, she was too busy glaring at anybody who looked like they were even contemplating another joke. It occurred to Balthazar that she hadn’t finished her speech, but he wisely decided not to mention it. He very much enjoyed having his head still on his shoulders thank you very much. 

“Let’s keep going,” Ursula said evenly, as one would talk to a spooked horse, “I want a go too.”

“Fine, Ursula, truth or dare?”

They played for another hour, Beatrice shouting “dare” as loud as possible when her next turn came around. Claudio ended up starting and ending every sentence with “my dearest darling”, Ursula performed an interpretive dance to the alphabet song, Meg had to spend the rest of the afternoon talking in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, and Hero had to make a list of her weirdest celebrity crushes. On his second turn Balthazar, being unable to touch his own nose with his tongue, had to lick Meg’s nose. He had no idea who put the list of dares together, but they certainly did have a weird imagination.

He wasn’t complaining though; it had led to an interesting, and hilariously fun afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The website stemmed from the fact that I am terrible at thinking up dares, and had to let google be creative for me. Once I saw how ridiculous some of the suggestions were, there was no way I could pass it up.  
> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> (The website is - http://www.gettoknowu.com/Truth_or_Dare/Dares_for_Truth_or_Dare_01.php - by the way. There are some really odd dares on there.)


	8. Chapter 8

“Thanks for the lift Ben,” Balthazar said as the car pulled in outside his house.

“No bother at all, thank _you_ for coming. Sorry you didn’t get to use your ukulele in the end,” Benedick replied from the driver’s seat.

“Don’t worry about it man.”

He climbed out of the car, saying goodbye to Beatrice and Pedro. Beatrice had been oddly quiet on the way home, and he was ninety per cent sure that it was because of the truth or dare mishap. He wasn't brave enough to mention it though.

“Oh, Balthazar wait!” Pedro called out to him when he was half way up the driveway.

“Yeah?”

“We’re going to hit the shops tomorrow if you want to come with?”

“Wow yeah, that’d be awesome man, what time?”

“About eleven in the morning I think, if that suits. We can change it if you want though.”

“No eleven is fine.”

“Great…” there was a moment of silence,” Ben says he’ll give you a lift.”

“Tell him thanks a million.”

“I can hear you and you’re welcome,” Ben yelled, making him laugh. These people were weird, but he really liked them.

“Okay, well I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Pedro rolled up the window, and he turned to go inside. He could still hear the three of them talking, though they obviously didn’t realise it.

“He’s bloody brilliant,” he heard Pedro say.

“Yeah,” Beatrice replied, “it’s an absolute _crime_ that we’re only getting to know him now, after being in the same school with him for four years.”

“I know, and…” their voices faded as the car pulled away. Balthazar checked to make sure they were gone before throwing his fist into the air in celebration. He really liked them all, and apparently they felt the same way, which was just spectacular. He had other friends of course, but nothing resembling a gang. He had always wondered what it would be like to have that close core-group of friends. Hopefully he would soon find out.

“Balthy how was your picnic?” his nana asked him the second he crossed the threshold. She had obviously seen the car pull in and been waiting for him to come inside. Oh god, that probably meant she had seen his victory air-punch. That was a bit embarrassing, but then again, if you couldn’t embarrass yourself in front of your grandmother, what could you do?

“My picnic was fantastic,” he told her, unable to keep the smile off his face.

“I’m glad you had a good time,” she beamed at him. “I know you spent a lot of time around the family recently, so it’s nice for you to have some time out with your friends.”

“Oh well thanks nana, it definitely was nice.”

It was times like these when he was filled with an overwhelming sense of fondness for his nana. She was brusque, she was loud, and she said exactly what she was thinking at all times, but when push came to shove, she really was lovely.

“Your parents and I are about to watch a movie if you’d like to join us? I don’t know what it’s called, but the DVD cover features a rather muscular man running away from a bomb or a fire or something. Don’t feel like you have to though - you can go up to your room if you want.”

That would be one of Rosa’s movies then. He usually hated watching them, he found the explosion to dialogue ratio mind-numbing, but the thought of a family night in was rather appealing.

“Yeah that sounds great actually,” he said, clearly surprising her. “Give me one minute to leave my ukulele upstairs and then I’ll join you.”

“There’s no hurry, I still have to make the popcorn. Then we can sit down in front of the movie, and you can tell me more about your friends, I barely got two sentences earlier about the football captain person, and the one with the funny name.”

“That sounds like a plan.”

He took the stairs two at a time, feeling oddly excited about talking about the gang with his nana. Though to be fair, if his worst enemy had asked him to talk about them at that moment he would jump at the chance. But hey, he was excited, that wasn’t a crime.

A piece of paper fell out of his ukulele when he threw it down on the bed. That was unexpected, how did that get there?

“Yo Balthazar, thanks for coming to our picnic, I'm really glad your dog nearly ran Ben over,” it read, “PEDRO OUT.”

He stared down at it for a moment, not even attempting to keep the smile off his face. 

"Balthy are you ready?" his mum called from downstairs.

"Yeah I'm coming now," he replied.

He practised a neutral expression in the mirror a few times before stuffing the slip of paper into his pocket to read again later. He would have to be sneaky about it though; whatever about discussing his friends with his family, he didn't want them prying too closely into Pedro. Well, not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter than the previous few chapters, but nonetheless I hope you enjoyed it!


	9. Chapter 9

Ben’s car pulled around the corner, and Balthazar was instantly glad that he’d decided to be outside five minutes early. Not that it would have been the end of the world if somebody had to knock for him, but if his mum or, heaven forbid, his nana opened the door, well… It probably wouldn’t be too bad, but Balthazar would rather leave without his friends being subjected to an awkward parental chat.

“Hey guys,” he said as he clambered into the back seat beside Ursula.

“Sup,” Ben greeted him from the front.

“We’re going to go to the magic shop,” Ursula told him without preamble. “You know the one beside the dry-cleaners?”

Balthazar’s blood ran cold. He did indeed know the magic store; in fact he had once been very familiar with the place. The shop was owned by his ex-boyfriend Tony’s dad, and it wasn’t somewhere he had ever seen himself returning to. He was even in the habit of crossing the road before he got to that particular section of the street.

“Um yeah I know it,” he replied lamely, not really knowing what to say.

Should he tell them? _Hey guys, can we not go there? I have an unfortunate history with the owner’s son._ That would lead to him telling them about Tony though, and that wasn’t something he wanted to do. Not that anything hugely detrimental had happened, but it was still a sore spot. Tony was not a nice person, plain and simple. He had been amazing at first, but over the course of the few months they’d been together he became really mean and petty. Not to Balthazar, he was lovely to the people he liked, but Balthazar hadn’t been able to get over how incredibly horrible he was to others. So they had broken up, and the one time they had been face to face since then, Tony had acted like the stereotypical popular kid from a high school sitcom - something that made Balthazar really uncomfortable.

“Awesome, I only noticed it last month, and this is the first time I’ve had a chance to go and check it out,” she continued. A little known fact about Ursula was that she loved magic tricks. Balthazar remembered a film project she made on the topic the year before. She had won a prize for it at the end of year awards ceremony.

“We just have to swing around and pick up Pedro first,” Ben said. “Meg and Beatrice are meeting us there.”

“That sounds great,” Balthazar told him, hoping none of his nervousness bled into his voice. It was highly unlikely that Tony’s dad would even be in the store, he usually left the day-to-day running to his employees. The chance that Tony himself would make an appearance was miniscule – too small to even be worth worrying about.

But Balthazar couldn’t help it.

*

The car-journey flew by, despite Balthazar’s hopes to the contrary, and it wasn’t long before they were walking down from the car to meet Beatrice and Meg.

“So have you ever been to the store before?” Pedro asked him.

The path was quite narrow, so the two of them were lagging slightly behind Benedick and Ursula, who were engaged in a heated conversation about Marmite.

“Yeah once or twice,” he replied with a shrug.

“Is it a good store? What sort of things do they sell? Is it secretly a shop that sells actual magical items and doubles as a vampire-slayer training base?”

“Yeah it’s a good store, it sells all the usual magic shop things, and no we’re not living in the Buffyverse thank god.”

“What do you mean thank god?” Ben asked incredulously from ahead of them. “Are you telling me that you would turn down the opportunity to live in Sunnydale?”

“Have you seen the show?” Balthazar replied. “Sunnydale is one of the worst towns in existence! The only thing high point is the mortality rate!”

Ben was silent for a moment. “You know I think you’re right,” he said eventually. “Now that I think about it, Sunnydale is the worst.”

“Thank you!”

“Oh the others are here,” Ursula said, pointing across the street.

Sure enough Beatrice and Meg were sitting on a bench opposite, the dreaded magic shop behind them.

“We thought you guys would never get here!” Meg exclaimed as they crossed over to the pair. “We were so tempted to just go in, but we decided to be nice and to wait. You’re welcome.”

“Oh wow thank you guys so much for waiting like decent human beings, you really are saints,” Ursula laughed,

“Yeah, well, we try,” Beatrice shrugged. “Let’s go now though, I’ve waited long enough.”

They pushed through to door, Balthazar lagging behind, praying to every known deity that Tony’s dad wasn’t working that day. He took a deep breath, before glancing over at the cash register and exhaling in relief; the cashier was a girl he didn’t recognise. He felt the loss of a tension he hadn’t even realised he was carrying. Now he could relax and enjoy the day with his friends. They were immediately drawn over to one of the shelves advertising spell-books, which were extremely disappointing - they were just phone books in a fancy binding. Seriously, who did that?

“Balthy?” came a surprised voice from behind them.

Oh no. No, no, no, please no.

Balthazar turned around slowly, already knowing who he was going to see.

“Tony, fancy seeing you here.”

“Well it is my dad’s shop, so I don’t see why it would be a surprise…”

“Yeah, well,” Balthazar gestured lamely.

“Who’s this Balthazar,” Benedick asked, drawing up beside them. The others had all moved on to the card-trick section, leaving the three of them alone.

“This is Tony, my, um, ex,” he said, hoping Ben wouldn’t make a fuss. “Tony, this is Ben, my frie-”

“Boyfriend!” Ben interrupted. “I’m his boyfriend. Hi,” he held out his hand.

If Tony was surprised he didn’t show it. “Oh, how long have you guys been together,” he asked, resolutely ignoring Benedick’s outstretched hand.

Balthazar looked at Ben in panic, but apparently he had everything thought out.

“We’ve been together for five months,” he replied, his voice layered with passive-aggression to match Tony’s.

“Wow, that’s so great,” Tony said. Somehow he managed to say one thing, but convey the exact opposite meaning. It was a gift.

“Yeah, we’re very happy,” Ben put his arm around Balthazar, who tried not to look as awkward as he felt.

“Wonderful. Oh, who’s this?” Tony's face lit up at something behind them. Balthazar turned around to see Pedro. Oh no.

“Hey man, I’m Pedro,” he held out his hand.

“I’m Tony, lovely to meet you,” Tony’s tone had changed completely, he was now exuding charm. He shook Pedro's hand, and Ben's eyebrows made a break for the stars.

“Hi Tony," Pedro replied before turning to Balthazar. "Ursula said to come and get you, she found a special scarf or something. I’m not entirely sure what makes it special, but she is very excited so I presume it’s incredible.”

“Okay, I’ll see you guys later," Balthazar excused himself from the conversation.

“So Pedro, I was just telling Tony here about how me and Balthy have been together for five months,” he heard Ben telling Pedro as he walked away.

That was the exact opposite of what he’d wanted to happen today. What on earth had possessed Benedick to say they were dating? How could that ever seem like a good idea? Honestly… He felt a bit guilty about leaving them with Tony - by the sounds of it he was back to his viciously charming persona. It was probably directly connected to the way his eyes had glazed over when he saw Pedro. Hopefully Pedro would be sensible enough to see right through him.

“Balthazar,” Ben caught up to him before he was even halfway to the others.

“What Benedick?” Balthazar rounded on him, ready to give him a piece of his mind. “What on earth were you thinking back there?”

“I know, I know, or rather I don’t know. There was just something about the way he was looking at you, I wanted to make his stupid face do a double-take or something. I know it was wrong and I’m so sorry, just say the word and I'll go back over there and put it right,” he visibly deflated.

Balthazar thought about it for a moment, before deciding that it probably didn’t matter in the scope of things.

“Look, it’s fine, we’re probably not going to see Tony again, so there’s no real harm done. But next time you feel like someone’s looking at me the wrong way, just tell them to fuck off okay?”

Benedick’s face broke into a grin. “That sounds like a better plan, let’s go find the others now, I’m kind of curious about this scarf. Also, how big is this shop?”

They walked off arm in arm to keep up the show for Tony. However they needn’t have worried, Tony hadn’t taken his eyes off Pedro since he had walked over. Balthazar glanced back at the two of them talking animatedly together. Surely Pedro wasn’t falling for Tony’s act? Surely he was smarter than that.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The image I have of the magic shop is an exact replica of the magic shop in Buffy. Also, this is officially my longest fic, that's pretty cool!


	10. Chapter 10

They perused the shelves for about a half hour, laughing at some of the more outlandish products. The “Mr T in your pocket” was particularly hilarious, though none of them could explain why it was in a magic shop. Pedro, as far as Balthazar could tell, was still talking to Tony. He shouldn’t care, they were perfectly entitled to have a conversation, but he couldn’t help it.

Finally it seemed they were all finished. Ursula was the last one ready, of course, though she was so enthusiastic that nobody could bring themselves to hurry her. Why should they anyway? They had loads of time, so there was no reason she couldn’t have a quick look back at the “potions corner”, or maybe just another  _glance_ through the spell books – they were only phonebooks, yes, but they sure were pretty. Eventually even Ursula had had her fill, and they were ready to leave.

That brought up the question, where was Pedro?

He wasn’t where Balthazar and Benedick had last seen him, and Tony wasn’t to be found either. After a few minutes of searching the shop – loudly due to Beatrice’s rather lewd suggestion – brought up nothing, they decided to call him on Meg’s phone.

It rang for about thirty seconds before he picked up. Balthazar couldn’t hear what he was saying on the other end of the line, but he could read the annoyance in Meg’s chorus of “alright”s.

“He’s in the coffee shop down the road,” she said once the call was finished, “with somebody called Tony.”

Shit. Shit on a stick. Shit on an evil stick. Shit on an evil stick hanging over a precipice of doom. It appeared Pedro was not immune to Tony’s charm after all.

“You okay?” Ben nudged him.

“Yeah, I mean they’re entitled to do what they want.”

“Why wouldn’t Balthazar be okay with it?” Meg asked curiously.

“Oh, Tony’s my ex,” he told her.

“Oh that’s bad form on Pedro’s part. Wait, does he know?”

“I left before they said anything,” he replied. “Did you tell him?” he asked Ben.

“No, I didn’t think it was relevant,” Ben replied. “So unless Tony himself told him, Pedro doesn’t have a clue.”

“Ah okay, that explains why Pedro went ahead with it. It’s still a bit unusual for him to just leave without telling us though,” Beatrice frowned.

“Oh you guys don’t know Tony, he can be pretty persuasive when he wants to be.”

“When did you guys break up?” Ursula asked.

“About a year ago.”

“Ah, was that why you were really moody last December? There was a week where you snapped at practically everybody who tried to talk to you.”

“Yup, that’s why. I mean I probably shouldn’t have been sad, I was the one who did the breaking up and whatnot, but Tony can be kind of… vicious, I guess, when he doesn’t like you.”

“I knew he was a jerk,” Ben muttered angrily.

“A jerk who thinks we’re dating.”

“What?” Beatrice asked sharply.

“Oh yeah, Tony was being jerk-y to Balthazar when I went over to them, so I kind of pretended to be Balthazar’s boyfriend,” he told her.

“Oh okay,” she replied with an odd look on her face.

“Were you afraid you had lost me forever?” he asked jokingly, clutching his chest.

“In your dreams dickface.”

“You say such affectionate things.”

“Oh my god shut up.”

“Never my love.”

“Fine, my darling dearest, Benjamin, I am deeply in love with you.”

“Benjamin? Really?” he made a face. “Way to wreck the mood.”

“Exactly,” she smiled victoriously, before walking out, leaving him standing rather bemused in the doorway.

“She beat you there mate,” Balthazar laughed. They really were hilarious. There was so much tension between them; one spark and it would all go up.

“Ugh whatever, she's the worst. Let’s go find Pedro. I want to glare at Tony again.”

“Sounds good to me,” Balthazar followed him out the door.

*

They walked into the coffee shop, and were greeted by the sound of Pedro and Tony's laughter.

“Well we won’t have to search,” Ursula said dryly, before marching over to them.

“Pedro,” she said, sitting down at their table, “how nice of you to tell us you were leaving.”

“I know Urs, I’m sorry, I just got a bit caught up talking to Tony here.”

“Hello, _Urs_ is it?” Tony said with a smile, as the rest of the group drew level with the table.

“Ursula,” she replied coolly.

“Well hi Ursula. Balthy, Benedick,” he nodded to them. “I haven’t been introduced to you ladies I'm afraid,” he said to Meg and Beatrice.

They introduced themselves. Beatrice was visibly trying to keep in her laughter, something that Pedro didn’t seem to appreciate.

“Okay Tony, I think I had better go,” he stood up. “I’ll see you on Thursday?”

“Yes Thursday, I look forward to it.”

“Right, well talk to you later.”

“Count on it,” Tony held up his phone. “It was nice meeting you all,” he said, looking each of them in the eye. He lingered on Balthazar for a moment, his smile slipping, and Balthazar deliberately leaned back into Benedick with a smile of his own.

They filed out of the shop, apologising to the waitress for taking up the floor space.

“Sorry about that guys,” Pedro said again, once they were out in the fresh air.

“Tony is Balthazar’s ex,” Meg said without preamble.

Pedro’s face visibly fell.

“What?” he asked.

“You heard me, he’s Balthazar’s ex,” she repeated.

“Oh shit man,” Pedro rubbed the back of his neck. “I am so sorry, I didn’t know, he didn’t say anything.”

Balthazar was faced with a dilemma. He had no real reason to object to Pedro and Tony seeing each other. Well, not a reason he was willing to admit to with anybody around. Sure, he found he was really liking Pedro, but he had only known the guy a day, he could deal. Well, probably. The real downside was that he would have to see Tony again, but he didn’t want to break them up over that, it seemed so insignificant. He made a decision.

“No, it’s fine, we haven’t been together for over a year, and it was only for a few months anyway. Go for it if you want to.”

Well that was done, there was no going back now.

“Are you sure? Because I totally get it if you want Tony to be off limits.”

Balthazar took a deep breath.

“Yeah I’m sure, don’t worry about it.” He plastered a smile on his face – hopefully it was realistic. It appeared to do the trick, because Pedro smiled back, and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Thanks man, I owe you one.”

 _Date me instead,_ said a traitorous voice at the back of Balthazar’s head. He silenced it with effort.

“I heard you say you’re going to see Tony on Thursday,” Beatrice said, “don’t forget that Hero’s birthday party is that night.”

“I haven’t forgotten, don’t worry. Hero said we all have a plus-one right? So I invited Tony.”

“Alright,” she nodded. “Oh and Balthazar, Hero said to tell you that you’re invited too. The plus one extends applies to you as well if you want to bring somebody.”

“I presume Balthy and I will be going together,” Ben interjected, “seeing as Tony thinks we’re dating and all.”

That was unexpected. He had forgotten about that particular side-effect of being around Tony.

“Are you sure you don’t mind the fuss?” he asked Ben. “I mean, you don’t have to go through all this for me.”

“I’m the one who told him we were dating, so I’m not going to let you down okay? Besides, having you on my arm will only increase my street-cred,” he winked mischievously.

“Well if it helps your street-cred…” Balthazar laughed.

“Brilliant,” Beatrice said, “I’ll tell Hero you’ll be coming. It’s her sixteenth, and it starts at eight-ish, so be there or be square.”

“Noted.”

“Right, shall we carry on with the shopping?” Pedro asked.

“Yeah let's,” Meg said, “I need to pick up a new calculator. My current one won’t graph quadratic functions for some reason.”

“You and your maths,” Ursula shook her head fondly, “let’s go.”

The rest of the day passed without incident, though Tony was always at the back of Balthazar’s mind. It was only when he was back home that he let himself think about it, there was no point getting jealous around the others, especially when Pedro was there. Hero’s party would be interesting – seeing Pedro and Tony together was sure to be horrific. He should probably search some calming exercises online, he might need them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favourite headcanons is that Meg loves maths, and nothing can take that away from me. Also, I officially know how this story is going to pan out now - I've been tossing around a few ideas for the past few days, but I've finally decided on one, and now that this chapter is up I can't go back.  
> I hope you're enjoying the story so far!


	11. Chapter 11

“Nah mum, I’m kind of tired, I just want to go to sleep,” Balthazar yawned. It wasn’t a lie exactly, it just wasn’t the whole truth. He was pretty drained, there was no doubt about that, but mainly he wanted to go to bed to think in silence.

“Okay honey, you get a good night’s sleep,” she told him, giving him a hug.

“Thanks mum.”

He padded up the stairs, looking forward to collapsing on his bed. The bed really was a remarkable invention. His mattress _remembered_ him for god's sake, what was better than that? The door shut behind him, and he flopped down onto said mattress, snuggling into the covers. There were three duvets on his bed; Rosa called it his cocoon, which was pretty accurate. He liked being cocooned, it made him feel cozy, and what exactly was wrong with that? It was also a great place to think.

Pedro and Tony. Tony and Pedro. Peeeedroooooo and Toooonyyyyyy. There was no way to say it that didn’t make his skin crawl, though Tony’s name tended to have that effect no matter the context. The worst part was, he had left Tony. He had broken up with the guy, and come to terms with what a mistake the whole situation was, and how foolish he had been to accept his charm. It had all been in the past; until it wasn’t anymore. Until Tony was standing before him in the flesh, his upper lip curling _just enough_ that Balthazar could see it because he knew what to look for. Tony made him feel inadequate, and just plain… _less._ It wasn’t even a self-esteem thing, Balthazar knew he was a pretty cool guy, he was comfortable in his own skin, and he was happy with the person he was turning out to be.

But Tony was able to get past that.

Balthazar had a sort-of kind-of theory about it. He had been so completely enamoured with Tony when they first started dating. Tony had been so charming, and having all that directed at him was, well, _nice_. It made Balthazar feel good, and respected, and worthy in some twisted way. He wasn’t particularly proud of it. But then it was taken away and replaced with malice, and all the positive feelings changed too. A part of him had known that the charm was fake, at least partially, but it still hurt to have all of the assurances, the compliments, and the loving remarks ripped out from under his feet. It had been an emotional battering.

He was past that though. It was literally the worst thing that had ever happened to him, but he had gotten through it, and it was over.

But now it was all flooding back, and Balthazar didn’t know how to deal with it. Should he cut his losses? Just stop hanging around with the group? If Tony was going to be there, surely he was better off just leaving, right? But he didn’t want that; he really liked these people, and he didn’t want to quit them because of Tony. He didn’t want to give the guy the satisfaction, to let him win. It felt a little bit melodramatic to leave over an ex anyway.

He sighed. The situation wasn't just going to evaporate overnight, he was going to have to get used to the fact that Tony was in his life again. He kind of wished he could warn Pedro though. But how did one start that conversation?  _Hey man, sorry to bother you, but that guy you're really into is actually a huge jerk. I have no proof other than my word, but I totally promise that it isn't because he's my ex and I'm bitter._ Yeah, that would go down well. Then it just got more complicated when his feelings for Pedro were added into the mix. Ugh. Maybe a good night's sleep would help him think it over. Maybe the ghost of relationships past, present, and future would appear to him and tell him what to do. But that would involve revisiting his time with Tony, and he wasn't sure he was willing to do that, even if it would get him out of his current tangle.

He tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position. Not that his bed was lacking in comfort, but there was a certain spot that was just plain better than the rest. He found it, and was just about to close his eyes when…

His phone beeped. Then it beeped again. Another one followed a second later, and then one more.

That was unexpected. They weren’t text alerts - they were the sound that meant he had a snapchat. Or rather, four snapchats. Who on earth was snapchatting him so late?

He picked up his phone, wincing as the light hit his eyes. Oh yeah, it was only half past ten. A snapchat was still pretty unusual though. He opened it and smiled. It was a picture of Hero, Ursula, Meg, and Beatrice. They all appeared to be in some form of animal onesie, and the caption read: “guess who’s having a sleepover?”

The next one was the same, though the caption was different - “Us!”

The third one said; “and guess who’s going to be informed every time we say something funny?”

He had a feeling he knew where this was going. He tapped the screen to bring up the final one. He was correct. “You,” it read across the backdrop of the four smiling girls.

He turned on his bedside light to take a selfie of his own. “So I won’t be getting anymore then?” he typed.

He had forgotten that they all exchanged snapchats earlier. It hadn't taken long; Beatrice had claimed his phone for a minute, and when it was returned she informed him that all their numbers and snapchats were on it. He had texted them each in turn, and that was that – they were all connected.

He saw the notification before the beep sounded. He took a screenshot of the snap after two seconds, saving the simply _beautiful_ shot of Beatrice with about six chins, and “ur so funny” written across her face.

They continued back a forward for a while, the sound of his typing the only noise that punctuated the silence. Well, that and his sporadic barks of laughter. There were some absolutely  _magnificent_  puns exchanged; their movie commentary was truly exceptional. He wouldn't have guessed how much he could enjoy Scott Pilgrim without actually watching it. There had also been some rather entertaining videos of Meg persuading Ursula that her nails should be painted red.

Eventually the snapchats became less frequent, and he dozed off between them. It was about half past two, or maybe three o'clock before he told them to piss off, in the nicest way possible of course, and put his phone on silent for the rest of the night. The time kind of blurred towards the end, but he didn't care, he was enjoying himself.

It turned out a bed was great for getting your bad thoughts out, but people were even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched "Sleepover!" a few times for research purposes. It was a giant hardship, I hope you know what I go through for this story :P  
> As usual, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

Balthazar woke with a crick in his neck, a smile on his face, and a message from Meg telling him to come over to The Duke’s and to bring food. A quick survey of his fridge brought up very little in the way of snacks, so he ended up grabbing a jar of olives and some crackers. Apparently he was feeling Mediterranean, though he was pretty sure he had the crackers wrong. Whatever.

He was halfway down his driveway before he realised that he had no clue where the house was.

12:08pm Balthy to Hero:  
                Yo where do you live? (read that in the least creepy way possible)

Once he made it to the street he was faced with a dilemma. He didn’t particularly want to sit around waiting for a reply, but at the same time he didn’t want to pick a random direction, only to find out it was the wrong choice and he had to walk even further. Especially seeing as the heat hadn’t abated over the past day or so, and it was still roughly a million degrees outside.

His phone beeped, causing him to jump, and made the decision for him.

12:10pm Hero to Balthy:  
                Walk from your house towards the bookstore, and we’re on the last street on the way. Somebody’ll wait outside (I will find a victim) so you’ll know the house.

Fair enough, he couldn’t argue with that. He walked in silence, thinking back to his walk with Olly three days previously. Was it only three days? It felt like longer. He had already failed in his resolution, having forgotten to walk Olly the day of the picnic, and he felt a bit guilty about it. But hey, he had been busy making friends, which arguably was a more significant life-improvement than a twenty minute walk. It wasn’t even as if Olly was missing out on the exercise; Rosa brought him out every morning without fail – rain or shine.

The walk passed in relative silence, his humming the only sound to be heard. Eventually he turned onto the last street before the bookstore, and there was Pedro sitting outside the fourth house down, staring down the other end of the road for some reason. He didn’t look up as Balthazar approached, and he decided to take advantage of it. He held his breath, creeping as close as he dared before lunging dramatically.

“Holy shhhh….skittles!” Pedro cursed, censoring his language as he noticed a man and a young girl walking behind Balthazar.

“Gotcha.”

“You are a menace Balthazar Jones.”

“Oh we’re going with full names now are we Donaldson?”

“That's right, things are getting serious.”

“Getting serious with Pedro Donaldson, captain of the football team and our freakin’ Student Leader, my mum would be so proud!”

“As long as you're not using me for my fame.”

“Oh yeah, that's totally it, I'm only here for the free footballs.”

“That’s what I get for living such a high profile life I suppose...”

“Sure man, sure…”

They turned to go into the house. That was really... nice. He liked just chatting with Pedro, and joking around. Sure, he was attractive, but he was cool too, so maybe Balthazar didn’t need to stick his tongue down the guys neck to enjoy being around him. He cringed at that expression. It was the absolute worst way to describe making out, it reminded him of fish for some reason, and that was not something he liked associating with kissing thank you very much. The image was in his head though, and it wasn’t in a hurry to leave.

“Don’t think about fish,” he muttered to himself.

“What?” Pedro asked, turning around as he opened the door.

“Nothing,” he replied quickly. Shit, he thought he had been quiet enough that Pedro wouldn’t hear, that would have been a bit odd to explain.

“Alright. Yo guys, Balthy’s here,” he called to the house. “Is it cool if I call you Balthy? It kind of feels right, if that makes sense.”

Balthazar was ninety per cent sure he was blushing, which was just _fabulous_.

“Yeah that’s fine.

He was rewarded with a grin that absolutely-definitely didn’t make his stomach flip. Friendship sure was a magical thing, he thought, only slightly bitterly. He counted that as a victory – baby steps and all that.

He followed Pedro through the house, admiring the set-up. He didn’t usually notice things like architecture, but those were some high ceilings – he was impressed. Finally they arrived in what appeared to be a kitchen/lounge area. The four girls were sitting on one couch, with Ben on the other looking rather lonely in contrast.

“Hey guys,” he said, flopping down beside Ben, who was taking a drink. “I brought olives.”

He jumped as Ben started coughing violently beside him. It appeared he had managed to choke on his water, a feat that honestly didn’t surprise Balthazar in the slightest. He thumped him on the back, not entirely sure if he was doing any good, but wanting to help anyway.

“I’m fine, I’m good,” he wheezed, waving Balthazar’s hand away.

“Please don’t die in our house,” Beatrice told him.

“Wow Beatrice, I'm cured, your concern really buoys me,” he replied.

Balthazar checked his watch as Pedro sat down on his other side. It was approximately thirty seconds since he’d entered the room, and already they were bickering. They really were something else.

“No it’s that our insurance would have to cover it,” she continued.

“Wow I’m so sorry for the inconvenience of my _death_.”

“You should be. Apology accepted.”

Balthazar felt Ben sit forward beside him. This should be interesting.

“Admit it though, you would so be sad if I was gone. Go on, try to deny it.”

The look Beatrice gave him was… interesting.

“If you were gone?” she asked coolly, “or if you changed?”

Balthazar had a feeling he was missing something. He raised his eyebrow at Hero opposite him, who put her finger on her lips, mouthing “tell you later”. Everybody was focusing intently on Beatrice and Ben.

“Whichever,” Ben replied after a moment, sounding confused.

Beatrice took a deep breath before continuing. “I suppose I might miss your constant stupidity, it is rather amusing.”

“No no no,” Ben shook his head, leaning even farther forward, “like for reals.”

“Fine, yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Ben leaned back, a satisfied look on his face. He was definitely surprised though, Balthazar could feel it.

“I guess it’s only fair that I say it too then. I would miss you too.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

That was unexpected. It was so casual, they were both leaning back into their respective couches, but it felt important. They hadn’t broken eye-contact, and it seemed like a significant moment. The three girls all had expressions of shock on their faces, and when Balthazar glanced up at Pedro he was the same. His own face probably looked something similar.

Beatrice’s phone rang, shattering the stillness. She glanced from it to Ben, her face slightly flushed, before grabbing it and retreating to the kitchen at speed. Ursula, Hero, and Meg immediately began muttering to each other.

“What was that Ben?” Pedro leaned over Balthazar to look him in the eye.

“I don’t really know to be honest,” he replied, sounding slightly baffled. “Balthazar, can I have an olive?”

“Yeah, go for it,” he handed the jar over. Ben opened it with a look of almost reverence in his eyes.

Pedro sank back into the couch, his new position leaving him uncomfortably draped over Balthazar.

“Heeeeey,” he laughed, hoisting himself back into a proper sitting position.

“Hey man,” Balthazar laughed.

“They really are something aren’t they?” he motioned to Ben and Beatrice.

“Yeah. Is there a backstory there?”

“Oh god yeah, I’ll tell you later when we’re not sitting directly beside him though.”

“Sounds good.”

“You should come over, we could play some video-games. I happen to be extraordinary at Guitar Hero, to be honest I think it’s extremely unlikely that you can beat me, and my ego could do with that sort of boost.”

“Yeah that sounds great, I’ve actually never play-”

He was interrupted by Pedro’s phone buzzing against his leg. Pedro dug it out of his jeans with a curious frown. Balthazar was in a prime position to see his face light up as he read the text, something that immediately brought his own spirits crashing down. He had a feeling he knew exactly who it was from.

Pedro looked up after typing a quick reply. “Hey, I am so sorry, but can I take a rain check on the Guitar Hero? It’s Tony, he was wondering did I want to go to a movie. I know it’s shitty, I mean I literally asked you five seconds ag-”

“Dude, it’s fine,” Balthazar cut him off, hoping his disappointment wasn’t bleeding into his voice. Pedro and Tony were… something, it was to be expected that Pedro wanted to spend some time with the guy. Even if Balthazar hated it, they were perfectly entitled to do whatever they pleased, and he definitely didn’t want to think about that – he’d prefer the fish.

“You sure? You really are a saint Balthazar.”

“I think that’s a bit of a contradiction actually,” he laughed. Did that sound bitter? It sure felt bitter.

“No really, you're great, and I don't just mean for this, honestly. I must say thank you to Olly whenever I meet him.”

Balthazar flashed back to the note in his ukulele. It was only two days ago, but it felt like much longer.

“Well I'm sure you'll have the opportunity soon.”

“Yeah I'd like that,” he smiled.

As it ended up, Beatrice and Ben weren't the only ones who could make eye-contact. Even as the thought crossed his mind he knew it sounded stupid, but the sentiment was still there. Concentrate on friendship, he's seeing Tony, Balthazar reminded himself. It wasn't enough to get rid of the warm feeling though. He wasn't sure if liquid nitrogen would be sufficient.

Boy he was screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, this bit ended up quite long!  
> I'm over a third of the way through, which is definitely unexpected (aiyyyy). I never saw myself making it this far, but here we are, and let's see how long I can keep it up for!


	13. Chapter 13

Balthazar wanted to go home. It should have been a fun day, and to an outsider it would have looked like one; they were all lounging around the Duke’s television watching reruns of old sitcoms. Actually scratch that, to an outsider they would have looked bored out of their minds, but watching clichéd shows with Beatrice and Ursula’s _scathing_ commentary was pure gold. Well it should have been, but Balthazar just wasn’t feeling it. Or rather, he was feeling a bit too much. Pedro was still pressed against him on the couch, and while there was nothing intimate about the contact, it made it rather hard for Balthazar to simply forget his presence. His infuriatingly unattainable presence.

A phone buzzed again against his leg, but he ignored it, waiting for Pedro to send a presumably-loving text back to Tony. God, what was wrong with him, why was he getting mad at Pedro, when he’d done nothing wrong? He didn’t even know that Tony was a dick, there was no reason to take out his frustration on the guy. But he couldn’t help it, he was well and truly pissed off.

“I think that’s your phone,” Pedro whispered in his ear.

Balthazar extracted it from his pocket, cursing the shiver that ran down his spine at Pedro’s breath. Stupid nerve endings with their stupid sensitivity.

15:24 Mum to Balthy:  
                Just a reminder to be home by four, because nana’s leaving :)

Oh shit, he had completely forgotten about that. Dear lord he was a terrible grandson. He had planned on spending some time with her over the past few days too, but he had been so caught up that it had slipped his mind. He really was the absolute worst.

15:27 Bathy to Mum:  
                Of course I’ll be home, don’t worry about me :)

He tacked a smiley face onto the end of it, because she always got a kick out of them.

“Are you off then?” Pedro asked.

Had he read the text over his shoulder? Jeez, that was a bit presumptuous.

“Do you usually read other people’s texts?”

“Oh god, sorry, I mean you’re basically in my lap, I just kind of glanced and saw,” his face coloured.

“Yeah well don’t make a habit of it.”

“I won’t, sorry.”

He looked rather sheepish, and Balthazar felt momentarily bad about snapping. Actually no, he didn’t, that wasn’t a cool thing to do. Just because he was cute, didn’t mean Balthazar was going to bend over backwards to keep him happy. He flinched at his poor choice of words, but the sentiment was there - he wasn’t a bloody doormat.

“I do have to go though,” he answered Pedro’s original question.

It took him a few seconds to muster up the will to move. He was, as Pedro said, basically in the other boy’s lap, with Benedick leaning back into him on the other side. They were hardy tangled, but there was no way Balthazar was getting up without disturbing the other two.

“Yo move your ass, I have to go,” he poked Ben in the back, causing him to jump about a foot into the air.

“Holy moly, give a guy some warning before you attempt to poke _through_ my ribs,” he said semi-hysterically.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise you were so ticklish.”

“I am absolutely not ticklish, you simply caught me off guard!”

“Sure man, sure.”

“Are you sure you have to go Balthazar,” Hero asked him, “you only just got here.”

“Hero it’s been three hours since he got here,” Meg informed her.

“What?” she asked incredulously. “Three hours? Oh my god, what the heck even is time?”

“Song dibs,” Balthazar said without thinking.

“What?” she looked confused.

“Oh sorry that’s a thing we do in music class, you say it when you want to use something said by someone in a song.”

“Oh okay, so I’m a musical genius is what you’re saying?” she laughed after a second.

“Something along those lines,” he winked. She swooned dramatically.

“Balthazar Jones,” Ursula chastised him jokingly, “such profanity.”

“It’s my secret weapon, that and my eyebrows,” he wiggled them for effect.

“Be still my beating heart,” Ben exclaimed, clutching his chest.

“I know, I know, I really am magnificent. Way out of your league actually, I don’t know how you managed to catch my eye.”

“It’s my sparking personality,” Ben replied, not missing a beat.

“Whatever you say darling.”

“Dearest.”

“Honey.”

“Sweetie-pie.”

“Lovey.”

“My precious,” Ben ended their pet-name stand-off with a Gollum impression.

“I’ll take that one. I do have to go though, so I’ll see you guys whenever.”

He started for the door, before stopping as Pedro called his name.

“Wait Balthy, I have to go too, so I’ll walk out with you.”

Oh how wonderful, he was getting the pleasure of walking Pedro to his date. That was _exactly_ what Balthazar wanted to do, he was so lucky! His metal sarcasm was really getting out of control, he noted.

“Yeah alright. Hurry up though, I do need to get home.” He sighed internally, hoping none of his frustration was obvious.

“I’m ready now,” Pedro replied.

They bid goodbye to the others and made their way outside. Balthazar expected them to split at the end of the driveway, but apparently he didn’t have any luck, as it appeared they were heading in the same direction.

“I didn’t actually have to go yet,” Pedro said suddenly, “but I wanted to ask you something away from the others.”

That was unexpected. What could Pedro need to ask him? Oh god, it was probably something about Tony.

“Shoot man.”

“Right, well it’s actually to do with Tony...”

Balthazar had never been less happy to be right.

“What about Tony?”

“Okay, so you obviously don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, because it’s completely your business and all that, but why did you guys break up?”

Whoa, okay. How should he go about this? Pedro wouldn’t believe him if he said that alluring, charismatic Tony was really a giant douche in disguise, that was for sure. But he didn’t want to lie to the guy and tell him everything was sunshine and rainbows either.

“I’ll be straight with you, if you’ll pardon the pun,” he said eventually, “I didn’t really like Tony all that much towards the end.” It was amazing what a little word placement could do; _d_ _idn't really_ sounded completely different to  _really didn't._ He left it open, hoping against hope that Pedro wouldn’t pry any further.

His hopes were, of course, futile.

“What do you mean,” Pedro frowned.

“Just once I really got to know him, I realised we weren’t compatible I guess.” There, that wasn’t exactly a lie.

“Oh okay. The break-up was probably nice and easy for you then.”

Balthazar would have snorted if it wouldn’t have given too much away. An easy break-up, that was rich. He wasn’t going to let himself think about it though, not in the daytime, and certainly not with Pedro by his side.

“There’s no such thing as a nice break-up.” His tone didn’t invite Pedro to ask anything else on the subject, and thankfully he seemed to realise it.

“Fair enough.”

They chatted casually until Balthazar turned into his driveway. Pedro watched him go with a thoughtful look on his face, but he didn’t care enough to dwell on it. Or rather he wanted not to care enough to dwell on it, so he forcibly shoved the thought out of his mind.

“Stanley!” his nana exclaimed as he entered the house. It was an odd mirror of his return from the picnic a few days ago.

“Hey nana,” he hugged her.

It hit him how much he was going to miss having her around the house. She had been staying with them for about three weeks, and he really hated to see her go. She lived on the other side of the country, so he barely ever got to spend time with her. A pit of guilt opened up in his stomach for leaving the house so much over the past few days.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been out the past while, I should have spent more time with you,” he mumbled into her shoulder.

She held him at arms-length, which admittedly wasn’t very long.

“Stanley Jones, don’t you dare apologise to me for spending time with your friends. I’m your nana, it’s my job to watch you go out and have fun. Besides, that boyfriend of yours looks very handsome, I’m not surprised you wanted to be with him.”

Whoa whoa whoa, what?

“What boyfriend? Nana, I do _not_ have a boyfriend!”

The look she gave him was almost pitiful.

“Stanley I saw that note you had the other day, and I saw the way he was looking at you just there, I can put two and two together, don’t try to fob me off.”

“Nana I’m not fobbing you off, whatever that even means. He’s not my boyfriend and he’s seeing somebody else for goodness sake.” Checking his language was practically second nature to him after spending three weeks with her.

“Well in that case, don’t worry, I'm sure he’ll come around eventually.”

She looked so content to be giving him advice that he couldn’t bring himself to explain the situation, even if her words did make him feel like he was being punched in the stomach.

“Right mum, are you ready to go?” Balthazar’s dad came out of the kitchen carrying her suitcase.

“I am indeed, I’ve just got to say goodbye to Stanley here.” She pulled him into another hug, “I love you dear.”

“I love you too nana.”

He watched the car pull out of the driveway, his mum and dad in the front, and his nana in the back. He really was going to miss her, not to mention that her departure officially marked the end of Christmas, and the return to normality.

Though, he mused to himself, with all the changes in his life recently, he didn't entirely know what was normal anymore. He also wasn’t sure whether or not that was a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you for all the kind words about this story. It's the first serial fic I've ever written, so it means a lot.


	14. Chapter 14

Balthazar was jolted awake from his impromptu nap by his phone beeping. Ugh, he had drooled on his desk, that was disgusting. He stared forlornly at the book he was supposed to be reading; he had made it approximately ten pages into it before falling asleep from the sheer dullness of the whole affair. The glare of the screen made him flinched as he checked his phone – it was a text from Ben. There was a moment where he considered ignoring it and going back to sleep, but the thought was quickly pushed from his mind; he had nothing at all against Ben, there was no need to take his bad day out on the guy.

19:16 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Yo idk if I told you this already, but Hero’s bday starts at 8 on Thursday, so if it suits you I’ll knock for you at about 7:50? I’m not driving, otherwise I’d offer you a lift obviously.

Oh yeah, Hero’s party. That should be… interesting to say the least. If he could somehow manage to avoid Pedro and Tony for the night he’d have a great time, but if he had to actually spend time around them he might just spontaneously combust.

19:20 Balthy to Benedick:  
                Yeah if that suits you that’s fine here. I know I’m repeating myself, but you can back out of this if you want, it’s no big deal. I know Beatrice will be there.

He rubbed his forehead as he waited for Ben’s reply. Was that a headache coming on? Or was it the result of his head resting on the hard wood of the desk for the past hour? His life choices needed to be evaluated.

19:22 Benedick to Balthazar:  
                Dude I said already that I don’t mind, and I’m serious. And I don’t see what Beatrice has to do with it?

Was Ben being purposely dense, or was he genuinely oblivious? Balthazar was leaning towards the former after the morning's events.

19:23 Balthy to Benedick:  
                Well thanks again man, you really are a saint (or a Pope?). And don’t even try to pretend Beatrice isn’t, y’know, something... (Emphases on the dot dot dot :P )

19:25 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Yeah I’ve been the Pope this whole time, SURPRISE!

19:26 Balthy to Benedick:  
                Benedick…

19:28 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Fine. I bloody well like her. Stop mentioning it so that I can wallow in my poor choice and lack of self-preservation instinct. And stop with your bloody dots.

That was unexpected. He had presumed Ben would just avoid the question until the subject changed. But then again, he was hardly being subtle about it, not with that display earlier.

19:30 Balthy to Benedick:  
                Oh shut up, it’s so obvious that she likes you back, you don’t get to feel sorry for yourself at all.

19:30 Benedick to Balthy:  
                I so do. Don’t you restrict my right to self-pity.

19:31 Balthy to Benedick:  
                For reals though, you like her, she likes you, what’s wrong with that?

19:32 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Love is disgusting that’s what.

19:32 Benedick to Balthy:  
                LIKE! LIKE IS DISGUSTING! LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE! SMALL TINY CRUSHES!

19:32 Balthy to Benedick:  
                You said love man.

19:33 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Shut up.

19:33 Balthy to Benedick:  
                Don’t be stupid, go do something about it!

19:34 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Your face is stupid.

19:34 Balthy to Benedick:  
                That may well be, but you’re deflecting.

19:34 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Of course I am. It’s a bit rich coming from you though.

What was that supposed to mean? He typed his reply with a frown on his face.

19:35 Balthy to Benedick:  
                What?

19:35 Benedick to Balthy:  
                With Pedro and all. Telling him it’s fine and dandy for him to see Tony when you’re in LIKE with him.

Balthazar cringed, half because of Ben’s choice of words, and half because of their truth.

19:36 Balthy to Benedick:  
                In like? What are we twelve?

19:36 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Always. Now who’s deflecting?

Damnit, he had hoped Ben would just go with it.

19:37 Balthy to Benedick:  
                There’s nothing to deflect. He’s cool, and yeah he’s incredibly good-looking, I’m not going to deny that, but he’s with Tony now, so that’s that.

19:37 Benedick to Balthy:  
                I’m not bothered to find the emoji, but do me a favour and pretend this is a “cut the bull” face.

19:37 Balthy to Benedick:  
                I will do no such thing, you have failed.

19:38 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Shush you. Now Pedro, go.

19:38 Balthy to Benedick:  
                I already told you.

19:39 Benedick to Balthy:  
                If that’s all there is then why did I have Peddy himself on to me earlier asking me a billion and seven questions about you, and about Tony and you?

Whoa okay. That wasn’t the direction Balthazar had thought the conversation would take. Pedro was asking questions about him, that was big right? Well, maybe not _big_ per say, but definitely something. The rational part of Balthazar’s brain told him it probably meant he was trying to find out more about how they broke up, like he was earlier. However, the irrational, wishful part wasn’t keeping quiet. What if Pedro was having second thoughts about going out with Tony? That was hardly unfeasible.

Oh crap, he still had to reply to Benedick.

19:45 Balthy to Benedick:  
                That could mean anything man.

19:45 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Exactly, it could mean that Pedro feels the same way.

He wished Ben would just stop. He was trying to deal with everything, he didn’t need any stupid hope. Everything would be far easier if he could just accept the fact that Pedro was taken, and that he would have to see Tony occasionally, rather than holding on to his irrational longing.

19:46 Balthy to Benedick:  
                Look I know you’re trying to be supportive, and I do appreciate it, but I’d rather just let it go.

19:46 Benedick to Balthy:  
                I know, but this situation would be so much less shitty if you and Pedro were together and Tony was out of the picture. Also now “Let it Go” is in my head and I’m singing, so screw you.

19:47 Balthy to Benedick:  
                You’re preaching to the choir (which apparently is you :P), but I don’t want to wreck what they have, you feel?

19:47 Benedick to Balthy:  
                But you said Tony is a complete ass-face right? So we’d be doing Pedro a favour.

19:48 Balthy to Benedick:  
                That’s fine for you to say, and I agree with you, but he has to figure that out for himself, we can’t just decide for him.

Ben didn’t reply for a few minutes, leaving Balthazar staring at the three dots that indicated his typing. He was tired of this, he had mulled the situation over in his own mind enough times, and while it was nice to get some of it out, he was sick of going over it. Hopefully Ben would understand and just drop it.

19:52 Benedick to Balthy:  
                I guess you’re right. You’re wise beyond your years my friend (unless you’re a vampire or something, in which case I call dibs on being your sidekick, also you have to make me immortal too, sorry I don’t make the rules).

Balthazar smiled, and the conversation moved on. They chatted for a while, until eventually his yawns could no longer be ignored.

21:47 Balthy to Benedick:  
                Sorry man but I have to sleep now, I am literally about to die of exhaustion.

21:47 Benedick to Balthy:  
                I’m pretty sure that’s not possible, but yeah sure, I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, and good luck.

That was presumably about Pedro. Great, just the reminder Balthazar wanted before going to sleep.

21:48 Balthy to Benedick:  
                Goodnight and good luck to you too. And thanks.

21:49 Benedick to Balthy:  
                What are friends for.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by "Style" by Taylor Swift, for no other reason other than I love it.


	15. Chapter 15

Hero's party was definitely something he could wear a blazer to. He gave himself another once over in the mirror before deciding that he was either fine, or he’d deal with being under-dressed; there was no going back now. It was highly unlikely he looked inappropriate anyway, you just couldn’t go wrong with jeans, a shirt, and a blazer. That was basically his life motto. Not that he was usually flippant about his clothing, but tonight he was definitely trying just that bit harder - he had tried telling himself it was because he wanted to make a good impression at the party, but in reality there was no denying the real reason. It wasn’t that he needed Tony’s approval per say, he was long past that, but he didn’t want to give the guy any reason to sneer. Not tonight, tonight was about Hero, and Balthazar was fully focused on not letting his messy feelings get in the way. Rosa had been talking to him earlier about a book she was reading in which the main character was really into a guy even though he had a girlfriend, and there had been some worrying parallels to his own life. In that moment he had decided to cut the crap and leave it be; it wasn’t worth the fuss. He had lived without Pedro before, and he could bloody well do it again.

The sound of the doorbell startled him out of his internal lecture. He heard his mum open the door – thankfully he had remembered at the last minute to tell her he was going out. She had definitely been a bit surprised, but pleasantly so.

“Balthy dear,” she yelled up at him, “Ben... Benedick is here for you.” The pause told him she’d had to double check Ben’s name. She could be rather hopeless sometimes when it came to things like that.

“Coming now,” he called back, grabbing his phone and keys before hurtling down the stairs. He didn't want to subject Ben to any more awkward parental talk than was absolutely necessary. However, he needn't have worried, the pair of them were having a right old chat when he reached the front hall.

“Balthazar,” his mum turned to him with a smile, “you didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.”

Oh crap he hadn’t filled her in on the situation, and she thought Ben was actually his boyfriend. Shit.

“We’ve only been going out for a day or so, he probably wanted to make sure it was going to last more than a week before telling you Ms Jones, right Balthy?”

Saved by the Ben.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to tell you if it ended up fizzling out as fast as it began,” he told her.

“Okay I suppose that’s reasonable,” she pursed her lips, obviously not ecstatic. “You have to let me take a picture of the two of you though, it’s the only apology I’ll accept.”

Curse her.

“Well I don’t mind at all, as long as Balthy’s up for it,” Ben said cheerfully from the doorway.

His mum went back into the kitchen to grab her phone, and Balthazar got his first proper look at Ben. They just about matched in terms of formality, which was a relief as far as he was concerned. Despite specifically asking Meg, who he had deemed the best judge of things, about how fancy he needed to be, there had still been a niggling doubt at the back of his mind. He spent half his life in a blazer, so his sense of formal was oddly skewed. However, it appeared he was bang on - well, that or Ben was also off the ball, and either way he could deal, as long as he wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Did sore thumbs even stick out? He had never given it much thought. Surely normal thumbs stuck out enough as it was, so why did pain have to be added to the mixture? Jeez, language was weird.

“Hey, sorry for telling your mum we were dating, I just presumed you’d have briefed her on the situation,” Ben whispered.

“I forgot, to be honest. Anyway, I don’t really want to mention Tony to her in case she gets worried, you know how mothers are.”

“Fair enough, now here she comes, so let’s see those pearly whites.”

“Okay boys,” she said as she fiddled with her phone, “say cheese.”

What followed was the most awkward photograph of Balthazar’s entire life. It hadn’t occurred to him that they were expected to pose like a couple, so Benedick ended up leaning in while he was standing straight as a rod, no pun intended. Hopefully that one wouldn’t get dragged up at some family function.

“We'd better be off mum, we don’t want to be late.”

“What time will you be home at? Do you want us to wait up?”

He glanced questioningly at Ben, who just raised his eyebrows.

“I’m not sure, so don’t bother staying up, I have my keys so I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, well enjoy yourselves, you both look lovely. It was nice meeting you Benedick.”

“You too Ms Jones,” Ben smiled, turning around to leave.

 _Nice catch_ she mouthed, flashing a thumbs up at him as soon as Ben’s back was turned. 

“Thanks mum, see you later," he laughed.

The door closed behind them, leaving an odd silence.

“You ready?” Ben asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“This may sound a bit odd, but we should probably go over how to play this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like how far are we willing to go with the dating thing? Do we stick together most of the night or what? Do we have a signal? I can’t think of anything we’d need a signal for, but I feel like we should have one anyway, they always do in sitcoms.”

Shit, that was probably something he should have planned.

“Okay, so for the dating thing I feel like we, I don’t know, hold hands or something? If we end up sitting down, we can do the whole arm over the back of the chair thing? Does that work?”

“Yeah that’s cool. Fair warning, if I end up drinking I may get a bit existential.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything else, that’s so you. If I drink, which I don’t think I will because that’s not something I need tonight, I’ll start talking about music, it’s not pretty.”

“Talking about music? That doesn’t sound bad.”

“See you say that now, but I don’t just _talk_ about music, I gush, I sing, and this one time I even cried, and that was at a family function so I was barely tipsy.”

“I feel like that’s something I need to see,” Ben laughed.

“Well you’re not going to see it tonight, that I promise you.”

“Fair enough, probably for the best. So hand holding and arm resting, that sounds like a plan. Don’t take this in a weird way, but if worst comes to worst and Tony does something evil, do I have permission to jump in and kiss you to make him leave?”

Whoa okay, that was unexpected. This was becoming quite serious.

“If you’re comfortable with it, that’s fine. I think that’s where the signal comes in.”

“Okay, shout _bird is the word_ at the top of your voice.”

“You know what, I think that might be a bit too subtle, how about I just pretend to tie my shoelace?”

“You're probably right.”

“So that’s a plan?”

“That’s a plan.”

They paused for a moment outside the Duke’s house. It was all lit up, and the sound of people and music wafted out to them, even though they were still separate from the action. This was probably going to be the last peaceful moment of the night. Balthazar took a deep breath before taking Benedick's outstretched hand, and starting towards the house.

He could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOAAAAA WE'RE HALFWAY THERE!  
> I am so incredibly shocked that I've made it this far without falling behind, I thought I'd be failing by day four! Apparently I have some previously-undiscovered time management skills, at least when it comes to doing something I like. (studying is another matter all together)


	16. Chapter 16

The evening was going well so far, all things considered. Apart from an awkward moment of eye-contact, Balthazar had managed to completely avoid Pedro and Tony. His time had been spent drifting around the party chatting to people, and on the whole he was having a surprisingly good time. Once he realised that it was actually fairly easy to avoid the couple, he allowed himself to relax and get into the party spirit.

Beatrice’s voice sounded from the kitchen, interrupting his conversation with a girl called Olivia from his history class. It was a pity; they had been having a really nice chat about water-polo of all things.

“Yo everybody, it’s cake time, get your asses into the kitchen,” she yelled.

He filed in with everybody else, and was joined by Benedick a few seconds later. He had been checking in regularly over the past two hours - apparently they were putting on quite the show, several people had remarked on their cuteness.

“Hey, hows it going?” he whispered, as they waited for Leo to bring out the cake.

“I can’t complain, I’ve avoided them pretty well all night," Balthazar replied.

“That’s good. I was dragged into a conversation with them earlier, which was kind of nauseating. I mean he seemed lovely, but after what you’ve told me it just felt so sickeningly fake, you feel?”

“Oh I definitely feel.”

They were cut short by Leo's return with the cake. Hero looked incredible in her blue dress, something that Balthazar was told she had been looking to wear for months. He could see why. The happy birthday went off without a hitch, Hero being the first person he had ever seen not look awkward while everybody was singing to them; it was quite the feat.

“And now Hero is going to ceremonially stab this cake, and saw it into several pieces,” Beatrice announced with a laugh.

“Hush Bea, it’s a painless procedure, the cake won’t feel a thing, I swear,” Hero replied.

“You say that now, but I’ve heard rumours of malpractice,” Claudio piped up from where he was lounging against the wall.

“Claudio how could you say that, I trusted you!”

“My conscience compels me, too many cakes have been harmed by your secret, this needs to end Hero!”

Everybody laughed as he made a show of pleading, shaking her shoulders gently.

“I can’t stop, my vision must be competed,” she wrenched away from him, lunging towards the cake, and cutting it dramatically.

“Noooooooo,” Claudio sunk to his knees in defeat. “You monster…”

“I may be a monster,” she said in a choked voice, that Balthazar was ninety per cent sure was due to her held-in laughter, “but I’ve saved so many people. From starvation that is, enjoy the cake everybody!”

She pulled Claudio and Beatrice in beside her and they bowed before the crowd. It certainly was a birthday scene to remember.

*

“Mmmm, this is really good,” Ben mumbled through a mouthful of cake, once they had gotten their slices.

“I don’t know exactly what you just said,” Balthazar replied, “but I’m pretty sure it was about the cake, so I definitely agree. Unless you don’t like it, in which case you’re wrong and I want to break up.”

“That would be blasphemy against this magnificent buttercream. Like seriously, this stuff is miraculous.”

“You talking about me?” Pedro’s voice came from behind them. Balthazar tensed, before noticing, to his relief, that Tony was mercifully absent.

“Oh yeah Pedro, we were just remarking on your supreme lack of fashion sense, it really is miraculous,” Ben quipped, looking him up and down with exaggerated elevator-eyes.

“If I pretend to believe you will it make you feel better?”

“Yeah, it’ll really boost my ego actually.”

“I didn’t think that was possible. Hey Balthy, I haven’t talked to you all night.”

“I guess we just haven’t bumped into each other, it’s a pretty big house,” he replied, trying to sound nonchalant. He wasn’t quite sure if he succeeded.

“Yeah I suppose, and sure we’re here now, so no harm done.”

“No harm done is right. Where’s Tony?”

Why did he ask that? It wasn’t like he wanted to talk about Tony, so why on earth did he bring up the subject? Dear lord he needed a new brain filter.

“Tony got a phone call, and he stepped outside to take it. He should be back in a few minutes though.”

“Oh, that’s a relief,” Balthazar couldn’t stop some sarcasm from leaking into his voice. Thankfully Pedro didn’t seem to notice anything.

“Yeah. So how are you enjoying the party? Did you like Claudio and Hero’s impromptu skit?”

“I’m having a good time, and yeah I thought it was really funny. I’ve been meaning to ask, is there something going on between the two of them?”

“Hero and Claudio? Oh no, they’re just friends. There was a point a few months ago where I thought something might be happening, but it didn’t amount to anything. Besides, there’s enough inter-group-special-relations as it is, to use the technical term, what with Beatrice and Benedick here, and...” he trailed off, his ears reddening.

“And what Pedro?” Ben asked, obviously confused.

“And, em, you and Balthy apparently,” he said hurriedly. Balthazar was pretty sure that wasn’t what he had intended to say, but he didn’t feel like pressing the guy. He had probably wanted to add something about him and Tony, before feeling awkward about classifying Tony as part of the group, or something along those lines. Apparently Balthazar was officially a member though, which gave him a warm feeling.

“By the way,” Pedro continued, his ears just about calming down, “how long is this fake dating thing going to last between you two? I know you did it because of Tony, but now that it looks like he might hopefully be sticking around for a while, what are you going to do?”

Ben didn’t answer; his face had gone pale and he was staring behind Pedro. Balthazar’s stomach dropped as he followed his gaze, already knowing what he was going to see, or rather _who_. To his immense displeasure, he was right. Tony was staring at them with a shocked grin on his face. He had obviously heard everything Pedro said about him and Ben.

“You two are fake dating because me?” he asked gleefully. “Oh that is too rich. I mean I’m not surprised Balthy, I’m really not, but that’s a bit far even for you. Pretending to have a boyfriend, just to make me jealous, I have to say I’m rather flattered.”

“I didn’t pretend to date Ben to make you jealous, how self-obsessed are you? Also, don’t call me Balthy.”

“I’m self-obsessed? I’m not the one who is literally faking a relationship, that's you! I bet hearing about me and Pedro was a real punch in the stomach, wasn’t it?” he smirked.

“For your information, I was the one who thought of the idea, _Balthazar_ had nothing to do with it,” Ben interjected angrily. “Also, it’s _Pedro and I,_ not _me and Pedro_ , bloody well check yourself!”

The look Tony gave him could have spoiled milk.

“How good of you to jump in and protect poor defenceless _Balthy_ , you’re such a good friend,” he sneered.

“Hey Tony, maybe you should calm down a bit,” Pedro laid his hand on his arm.

Tony shook it off. “But this is such fun, catching up with my old bud.”

“Every second I spend around you reminds me why I broke up with you,” Balthazar told him as scathingly as he could. He would probably regret this confrontation later, but for now he was full of adrenaline, and Tony was _right there_.

“I don’t know why I ever lowered myself to date you in the first place.”

“Tony, for fuck sake man, stop,” Pedro snapped.

“I said no, now shut up,” Tony shouted back at him.

The room went quiet. Prior to this, only a few people had noticed their argument, but now every eye in the room was focused on them.

“No Tony, you can’t just start saying stuff like that!” Pedro yelled, completely oblivious to the crowd watching them.

“Why not, it’s all true!”

“No it’s fucking not, don’t say that about Balthazar!”

“Why do you care? You said you only met him a few days ago?”

“That’s longer than I’ve known you for fuck sake!”

“Oh look at Pedro, breaking out the curses,” Tony mocked, “how Neanderthal.”

“Holy shit man, shut up, you’re not better than me because you don’t curse, get your head out of your ass.”

“Oh so now I’m pretentious, am I?”

“No you’re a fucking douchebag.”

“Pedro, maybe you should calm down,” Ben began, but Pedro didn't let him get very far. 

“No, I have to deal with this.”

“This?” Tony repeated incredulously. “I have a name you know.”

“Unfortunately I do know, not that I can see myself using it after tonight.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh you fucking know what it means, it means we’re finished.”

“Oh no,” Tony shook his head angrily, “you don’t get to say we’re done, I do.”

“I don’t give a shit, as long as we’re both on the same page about never seeing each other again.”

Suddenly the door to the kitchen flew open, and they fell silent. Beatrice stood in the doorway fuming, her eyes searching for the culprits of the disturbance. She focused on Pedro and Tony.

“You two, out, now,” she said coldly.

“No, I was just trying to get him to-” Pedro began, motioning to Tony.

“Do I look like I give a shit Pedro? It’s Hero’s sixteenth, and you’re both screaming at each other, get a grip, and get the fuck out.”

Pedro seemed to realise that arguing wasn’t going to get him anywhere, and he started towards the door, his head down. Tony, however, didn’t move.

“You too,” Beatrice told him, her voice still dangerously low.

“Fine, I’m going. It was simply lovely seeing you _Balthy_ ,” he waltzed out the door with a smirk on his face.

“Did you have anything to do with this?” Beatrice turned to him. Balthazar had never been so intimidated by anybody in his entire life.

“No,” Ben said before he could open his mouth. “No he didn’t.”

Beatrice looked at him for a long second before her face softened and she nodded.

“Fine then,” she said. “Happy fucking birthday to Hero.”

She stalked off out of the kitchen, leaving a room full of whispers in her wake.

“I think I’m going to go,” Balthazar said, his voice low. “I’m just not feeling it anymore. Tell Hero happy birthday from me if you see her.”

“Tell her yourself,” Ben nodded towards the door, and sure enough there was Hero, looking confused and angry.

“What happened?” she asked the room. “I heard shouting, and then the door slammed, what the hell?”

Nobody answered her, but several people pointed to Ben and Balthazar standing in the middle of the room, Ben still holding his cake.

“Guys?” she asked them uncertainly.

“Tony started ragging on Balthazar, and Pedro got into a shouting match with him about it. Beatrice made them leave,” Ben told her in a matter of fact voice. He had probably made the right choice, it was better just to come out and say it, rather than beating around the bush.

“Oh god, Balthazar are you okay?” she asked, her face softening completely.

He felt really bad; it was her sixteenth, she had been looking forward to it for ages, and now the night was forever going to be associated with Pedro Donaldson’s screaming match. To top things off, she was asking how _he_ was, when really it was kind of his fault. He wasn’t going to claim full credit, because most of the blame was on Tony, with some on Pedro for blowing up, but at least one per cent of the situation was due to him. He felt incredibly shitty about the whole thing.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me, I am so sorry this had to happen on your birthday,” he said.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault. I’d hate to be Pedro when Beatrice gets her hands on him though, not to mention Tony.”

“Oh god yeah. Look Hero, I think I’m going to head home, I just want to go to bed after all that’s happened.”

“I understand,” she nodded, “don’t worry about it. Thanks for coming, seriously.”

“Thanks for inviting me.”

“It was my pleasure. Now go get a good night’s sleep, and don’t worry about Tony and Pedro, we’ll sort them out.”

“Thanks, and happy birthday.”

He didn’t let his face drop fully until he was the door. What an incredible mess the night had turned out to be. He had run through a lot of scenarios in his head before coming, but he definitely hadn’t pictured Pedro and Tony having a screaming match in the middle of the party. He hadn’t thought it possible, but it had ended up worse than his wildest dreams.

It absolutely sucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, so that happened. It felt a bit odd to be writing such high drama :P I hope you liked it, I think this is the fastest that I've ever typed.  
> Also, this story has officially passed the 20k mark, which is just ridiculously cool to see!


	17. Chapter 17

After an hour of tossing and turning, Balthazar finally had to admit defeat – his bed just wasn’t doing the trick. He had tried everything to fall asleep, from repeating the word _the_ in his mind – a trick his biology teacher had taught him – to breathing techniques, to the classic that was counting sheep, but nothing was working. The problem was he wasn’t a bit tired, in fact his mind was buzzing. He didn’t need to sleep, he just wanted to turn off his brain.

Maybe music would help. Music had gotten him through hard times before, so hopefully it could do so again. After all, what situation couldn’t be improved by some Mumford and Sons? He popped on his headphones, and scrolled through his iPod to find what he was looking for. Ah, there it was, his favourite song, the most played track on the device, and in his life.

“ _Serve God, love me, and mend…_ ”

Balthazar immediately relaxed. There was something incredibly therapeutic about music, it always seemed to him like it was stroking his soul, as weird as that sounded. He settled back, the slight frown that had been living on his face for the fast few hours disappearing. Why hadn’t he thought of this sooner?

“ _This is not the end…_ ”

It had better not be. He was really hoping it was one of those situations that seemed huge at the time, but then the next morning, with a fresh brain and a new perspective, it all turned out to be insignificant.

“ _Live unbruised, we are friends_ …”

He wasn’t entirely sure how it fit, but that line had him thinking of Pedro. Pedro didn’t need to apologise to him, right? He hadn’t done anything specifically to Balthazar, and his only real crime was causing a scene at Hero’s birthday. Tony was the one who should be apologising, though he wasn’t holding his breath. So why had Pedro come to mind?

“ _And I'm sorry_  
 _I'm sorry…_ ”

Oh. Balthazar was the one who should be sorry. In hindsight, he should have warned Pedro about Tony. His reasons had seemed perfectly sound at the time; Pedro probably wouldn’t have believed him over Tony, especially since Balthazar had a motive to lie, though technically Tony did too. But either way he should have tried.

“ _Sigh no more, no more_ …”

Good advice, he was cured. Ugh, his mental sarcasm really was getting out of control, hadn’t he read somewhere that positive thinking was good for you? If so, he should probably start.

“ _My heart was never pure…_ ”

Tony’s heart was never pure. It couldn’t be. There’s no way somebody could be that nasty and still have a pure heart. But then again, what exactly was a pure heart? It seemed pretty unquantifiable, so who was to say that Tony’s heart wasn’t pure? No, he shook his head, that boy was pure trouble. Well, to Balthazar he was anyway.

“ _Oh man is a giddy thing_ …”

Yeah, people were fucking ridiculous, and not necessarily in a good way.

“ _Love; it will not betray you_  
 _Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free_  
 _Be more like the man you were made to be..._ ”

Ugh, fat chance. The concept of love wouldn’t betray you, that bit was true enough, but having love for a person, that was a killer. You could end up blind to their faults, and the bad things they did, even if those bad things were directed at you. As for dismaying and enslaving, love was definitely guilty. Love enslaved people completely, only sometimes they didn’t mind, sometimes love was worth it. As for dismaying, well anybody who had loved somebody unrequitedly could tell you about that. He wasn’t even being cynical; he was just stating the facts. Yes, love could be brilliant, not that he’d ever really experienced that, but half the time you just ended up sad.

“ _There is a design, an alignment to cry  
Of my heart to see…_ ”

That line of thought was nice. If you thought everything had an alignment, and that there was certain way things _had_ to go, it would function like a safety net. Or would it? What if your design, so to speak, was to fail? You could tell yourself to make any old decision, because whatever you chose would make you follow your destiny, but what if your destiny was to lead a horrible life? He definitely wouldn’t want that. He preferred to think there was some autonomy to things, that you shaped your own course, yada yada. Some people took comfort in having their life planned out, but he was the opposite, he liked to think he had some say in things.

“ _Love; it will not betray you  
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free_  
 _Be more like the man you were made to be…_ ”

The second time around, he found himself focusing more on the final line of the refrain. _Be more like the man you were made to be_. Again with the destiny, or was it? _The man you were made to be_ , was that really fatalistic, or was it hopeful? It gave the idea of potential; potential that you didn’t necessarily have to reach, but that you could if you wanted to. Love, even if it didn’t end well, could still shape you, and have a positive effect on your life. The bad experiences just built you up more, giving you more depth, another layer. He couldn't quite make it sound right, but it seemed to him that love made you more _you_.

“ _The beauty of love as it was made to be_ ,” the song ended.

He didn’t really know what to make of the last line. He had listened to the song so many times, but had never really thought about what it was saying before. Usually he got caught up in the music without considering the meaning. Maybe that was for the better though, the words meant more to him now than they would have previously. After his break-up with Tony, his head wouldn't have been clear enough to appreciate it, had he taken the time to try. He wouldn’t have been able to listen objectively. But now he was far enough removed that the song resonated with him. Yes, love could be really painful sometimes, and dear lord did it suck, but it was worth it, and if it wasn’t, well you learned something in the process.

Love didn’t really apply to his current situation, but there were similarities. Being around Tony had been painful, but it was worth it to be around his friends, and Pedro. Hopefully Pedro would see it the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to azlyrics for not being incredibly obnoxious.


	18. Chapter 18

13:01 Meg to Balthy:  
                 I am going shopping would you care to accompany me?

Should he? There was nothing specifically stopping him, but last night’s fiasco had left him craving solitude. Sometimes there was nothing for it but to keep to yourself for a while, no matter how much you might need some new guitar strings because you got a little over-enthusiastic with your strumming, which was totally not venting. All hypothetically of course, except it wasn’t.

He was halfway through his reply when another message came through.

13:03 Meg to Balthy:  
                And by “would you care” I mean I’ll be at your house in ten minutes, so be ready ;) And don’t worry, it’s just me.

Curse her. He couldn’t keep the pretence of annoyance up for long, however, before a small smile cracked on his face. It was nice to have somebody genuinely care enough to force the issue.

13:04 Balthy to Meg:  
                See you then :)

True to her word, Meg arrived pretty much exactly ten minutes later, a tentative smile on her face.

“Hey, how are you doing?” she asked once they were on their way.

“Me? I’m fine, I’ve got nothing to be upset about,” he replied.

She raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not buying it. Damn she was good, he thought he had been very convincing.

“Fine, I’m… Well I’m dealing. I had a nice little existential moment last night with a Mumford and Sons song, so that pretty much says it all.”

“Oh dude,” she surprised him with a hug. “I’ve been there, it’s not very nice is it?”

“No,” he admitted, “it’s not.”

“But it could be so much worse, trust me. And hey, at least you’re out of the situation where the guy you like likes your ex. I’ve never had that one before, it must have been hellish.”

Balthazar felt his ears reddening, and hoped she wouldn’t notice. Maybe his hair would cover them, there had to be some advantages to his shaggy mop.

“What do you mean the guy I like? I don’t like Pedro.” There was no way she was going to believe that, but he had to at least try to deny it.

“Don’t even try Balthy, I have eyes. Also your ears are really cute when they’re red, just to let you know. You should try doing it around Pedro.”

“Oh my god, shut up, it’s literally the most annoying thing.”

“Ah don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s endearing. I’m sure Pedro thinks so too.”

“Shush, I basically split up him and Tony, so there’s no way he likes me now, even if he might have before.”

“Are you actually serious?” she asked incredulously, coming to a stop.

“Em, yeah…” he said uncertainly.

“You absolute…” she petered off, clearly unable to find a strong enough word. “I can’t believe you’re being so obtuse about this. From what I heard last night, and from what Ben told me, Tony is poisonous. Pedro should be thanking you, not cursing you!”

“I know, but Pedro really seemed to like him, so he can’t have enjoyed everything turning sour.”

“Do you think he’d prefer to be stuck with Tony? Now that he knows what the guy is like, I bet he’s literally baking you a cake right now to show you his gratitude. Though I can think of something else you might prefer,” she finished with a wink, and Balthazar felt his ears reddening again. Damn his anatomy.

“I guess, but I still should have told him earlier.”

Meg fell silent for a moment, both of them glancing at the Duke’s house as they passed. “Yeah to be honest, you probably should have told him, but it’s not a huge deal.”

“It’s big enough that Pedro ended up having a screaming match in the middle of Hero’s birthday party. I bet Hero, and especially Beatrice, would agree with me here, not to mention Pedro.”

“Okay,” she conceded, “you may have a point, but it’s nothing he won’t get over eventually, if he isn’t already. Who knows, maybe he didn’t even think of that?”

“Maybe, but I wouldn’t bet on it.”

“I accept that. But I didn’t drag you out shopping just to interrogate you, I actually thought you could do with a break from the drama, so from now on I will shut up completely on the topic, unless you want to talk about it. Is that a deal?”

He loved her. He actually, completely, utterly loved her. “Meg you’re the greatest.”

“I know, I'm the bees’ knees.”

“Do bees even have knees?”

She thought about it for a second before shrugging. “I have no clue, but I like how it sounds so I’m sticking with it.”

“I can’t argue with that. Now where do you want to go first?” They had reached the town, and were about to start walking down main street.

“Hmmm, well I got my calculator the other day, and you’ll be pleased to know the graph function is working perfectly, so that means there’s nothing in particular I  _need_ per say, but I’m definitely up for a look around. Do you need anything?”

“I need some guitar strings, because I got a little enthusiastic with my strumming last night, but apart from that I am set. Though actually I wouldn’t mind a look in the op shop.”

“Okay, so the music store, then the op shop, then some aimless wandering, that sounds like a plan. We also have to get some food – I’m going to suggest the café down by the pet shop, and when I say _suggest_ I mean _insist_ , unless you have anything huge against it of course.”

“Nope, that’s fine by me, I actually love that place - their cheese toasties are the stuff of legend.”

“Balthazar,” she looked at him with a smile, “I’m extraordinarily glad Ben met you.”

“As am I,” he replied, a warm feeling in his stomach.

What followed was a genuinely nice day. Meg was so easy to talk to; he found himself laughing, joking, and otherwise forgetting the topic of Pedro and Tony completely. It was exactly what he needed - he wished it could continue forever, and they could be trapped in perpetual shopping bliss. Hmmm, that would probably make a good horror movie, he should jot it down in his idea notebook. Ursula would direct of course, and Meg would be the hero. Beatrice and Ben would be cast as the romantic leads, and Hero could be the villain, just for the sheer incongruence of it. He himself would do the score, obviously, but what about the others? Claudio… Oh, Claudio would be the guy who thought he knew exactly what to do, but ended up screwing everything up. Was that mean? It felt mean, but he meant it in good faith. That only left Pedro. His first thought was to cast him as somebody important, the head of the gang or something, but something felt off about that. Pedro would be the wildcard, he decided, the character who could be either good or bad, but the audience wouldn’t know until the very end, when his allegiance was revealed dramatically. Perfect.

Or rather it would be, if they could have a conversation without any weird guilt or shouting. When had his life gotten so complicated?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pssst... I like your ears.


	19. Chapter 19

His phone was mocking him, there was absolutely no doubt about it. It wasn’t exactly doing anything per say, but he was picking up some real shady vibes coming from it as he stared at Pedro’s number. He should text Pedro. He should, there was no way around that one. In all honestly he should probably call, but he wasn’t great at phone calls at the best of times, so he figured a text was a safe middle-ground. Except he was having trouble with the words. Why on earth was it so bloody hard? _Hey Pedro, I was just wondering how you were? Thank you so much for standing up for me at Hero’s, and I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you about Tony, but I didn’t think you’d believe me, also you're cute and stuff._ Yeah, that should do the trick.

There was no way he could text with his room in such a state. The jumper slung over his chair was completely unfolded, he couldn’t work in such a pig-sty! He’d have to clean it first, there was no other option. He automatically checked the pockets, pulling out a guitar pick and a piece of paper, before folding it and sliding it into his drawer. That was that done. The pick needed to be put in the jar though, otherwise it would get lost, so he’d just have to put the text off for another minute, it was just too bad.

Eventually, running out of menial tasks to do, he was back where he began - in a staring competition with his phone. His duvet rustled as he lay back, playing absent-mindedly with the piece of paper as he contemplated what to write. Except… that wasn’t just a piece of paper, it was the note Pedro left in his ukulele after the picnic. He unfolded it at an almost embarrassing speed.

“Yo Balthazar, thanks for coming to our picnic, I'm really glad your dog nearly ran Ben over,” it read, “PEDRO OUT.”

He sighed down at it, before picking up his phone determinedly. It had to be done, he owed the guy that much.

21:03 Balthy to Pedro:  
                Hey man, how are you? I’m sorry for what happened at Hero’s, thanks for standing up for me in front of Tony, it meant a lot. Sorry about the sucky situation.

There, it was sent, that wasn’t so hard. All it had taken was almost an hour of distractions, and a forgotten note. Hopefully the reply wouldn't take too long, he didn't think he could focus on anything in the interim.

21:04 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Don’t be sorry for anything, Tony was a fucking douchebag. You could have told me he was like that though, and saved me the hassle.

21:04 Balthy to Pedro:  
                I know, but I didn’t think you’d believe my word against his, what with you only knowing me like two days and whatnot.

21:05 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Seriously? Had I given you the idea that I’d value a complete stranger’s word over yours? Jeez, apparently I was sending out the completely wrong signals :P

Well he didn’t sound mad. The emoji definitely put Balthazar’s mind to rest a little, even if he didn’t entirely know what to make of the text. He was smiling though, so he was pretty sure it was a good thing.

21:05 Balthy to Pedro:  
                I guess you were, though I probably should have known by your note.

21:06 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Oh god the note, I’m still not sure if sending that was a good idea

21:06 Balthy to Pedro:  
                Why wouldn’t it have been a good idea?

21:06 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Ah no reason… So how’ve you been since last night? It can’t have been nice having the supreme douchelord yelling at you like that? It makes me mad just thinking about it.

Pedro was mad at Tony on his behalf. There was a warm feeling in his stomach, but Balthazar wasn’t quite ready to acknowledge it.

21:07 Balthy to Pedro:  
                Well he’s gone now, so let’s leave him and move on.

21:07 Pedro to Balthy:  
                That sounds like a plan.

Another message came through before he had a chance to reply.

21:08 Pedro to Balthy:  
                This may sound odd, but it occurs to me that I don’t actually know a huge amount about you.

That was... promising. 

21:08 Balthy to Pedro:  
                What do you want to know?

21:09 Pedro to Balthy:  
                I’ve been wanting to ask you since the picnic, is Balthazar your real name?

He cringed. This was going to lead to an admission, he could just feel it. But Pedro had asked the question, and he didn’t want to lie, so it looked like he had to spill the beans. Though actually, Pedro probably wasn’t his real name either, so maybe this could turn out to be entertaining for both of them.

21:10 Balthy to Pedro:  
                No, and I swear to god I will end you if you make a fuss, but Balthazar is my middle name, my first name is *shudder* Stanley.

21:10 Pedro to Balthy:  
                You’ll end me eh Stanley?

21:11 Balthy to Pedro:  
                Shut up Pedro, if that is in fact your real name, I’ll have you know I can be very intimidating.

21:11 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Fine, Pedro is a nickname, my actual name is Peter, and if you call me that I will end you right back, intimidation be damned.

21:12 Balthy to Pedro:  
                So we’re on the same page then, we're both intimidating, and we never ever use those names.

21:12 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Agreed. Not even if we end up married or something, we will literally refuse to say them.

Balthazar’s brain screeched to a halt. Marriage? That was out of the blue.

21:12 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Not that we’d get married of course, that was a weird thing to say.

21:13 Balthy to Pedro:  
                Face it _Peter,_ you want some of this.

Oh holy shit, he had actually said that. That was an actual text he had actually sent in real life, that Pedro was going to read, and oh holy fuck that wasn’t meant to happen, what had he been thinking? He hadn’t, that much was obvious.

21:13 Pedro to Balthy:  
                In your dreams, _Stanley ;)_

Focusing entirely on not reading too far into the winky face, he typed the first thing that came into his head.

21:14 Balthy to Pedro:  
                Me thinks thou doth protest too much.

Well, there was no going back after this conversation. He had to admit though, it was rather thrilling.

21:14 Pedro to Balthy:  
                You think? Don’t strain yourself!

21:15 Balthy to Pedro:  
                The wit! It’s too much!

21:15 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Oh shut up :P

There was no quantifying how much he wanted to reply with _make me_. He held himself back, barely, because… Well it might end up a push too far, and he was enjoying himself goddamnit!

21:16 Balthy to Pedro:  
                And the comebacks just keep coming!

21:16 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Your snark is not appreciated, I’m wounded.

21:16 Balthy to Pedro:  
                I’m the one who’s wounded after your razor sharp wit!

21:17 Pedro to Balthy:  
                You're vicious! What have I gotten myself into?

Balthazar could ask himself the same question.

21:17 Balthy to Pedro:  
                No takebacks.

21:17 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Good, I don’t want a takeback.

There was that warm feeling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The return of the Pedro. I gotta say, flirting is one of my favourite things to write.


	20. Chapter 20

21:40 Pedro to Balthy:  
                Hey are you free to Skype by any chance? It’d be nice to actually talk to someone, I’ve been alone in the house all day.

21:41 Balthy to Pedro:  
                Sure, I’ll log in now, what’s your name?

21:41 Pedro to Balthy:  
                It’s just Pedro-D, what’s yours?

21:42 Balthy to Pedro:  
                The-Mighty-Balthazar, I’ll see you in a sec.

His computer took an excruciatingly long time to boot up, and he found himself pacing the room. They had been texting for the better part of an hour, but he was still nervous to actually see Pedro, even if it was through a screen - everything was just that little bit harder face to face. Eventually his desktop loaded, and he opened Skype as fast as he could. The start-up noise was even more annoying than usual. After checking his hair in his webcam, not bothering to even try to convince himself that was something he did for everyone, he clicked call and waited for Pedro to accept.

“Hey,” Pedro said simply, as soon as it went through.

“Hey, it’s nice to see you.”

“I bet it is.”

“Oh you’re not letting any time go to waste are you,” Balthazar grinned.

“Where’s the fun in that? It’s nice to see you too though,” his face softened. Balthazar was instantly glad of the grainy web-cam that masked his blush; there was no need to give Pedro any hints to his not-quite-platonic feelings.

“To quote some loser, I bet it is.”

“Touché. So…”

“La, Ti, Do,” he replied automatically.

“What?” Pedro sounded confused.

“Oh it’s a music thing, the scales. Do Re Mi and all that. Though technically it’s not “So”, it’s “Sol”, but whatever.”

“Oh like in The Sound of Music! That was a song right?” Pedro sounded quite proud of himself. “Also, you should talk about music more often, your face kind of lights up, it’s um... cool and stuff.”

The web-cams might be grainy, but Balthazar could definitely make out a blush on Pedro’s face as his voice petered out. That was definitely interesting – he pushed it to the back of his mind for further contemplation once the call was over, though hopefully that wouldn’t be for a while.

“You’re asking me to talk about music _more_? Do you have any idea what you’ve just gotten yourself into? And yeah, that was in The Sound of Music, well done.”

“I’m clearly a musical genius.”

“Clearly,” Balthazar replied dryly.

“I don’t appreciate your tone.”

“I don’t appreciate your face.”

Well that happened, this conversation was not going as he expected at all. Apparently his mental filter no longer existed.

“My mum tells me I’m very handsome,” Pedro informed him primly.

“Well I hate to say it, but your mother is a liar.”

“Don’t you say that about Anne, she is a lovely lady.”

“Does she own eyes?”

“Oh you’re just hilarious Balthy, really you should write a book.”

“I already have, it’s called _Cooler Than You,_ find it in stores this August.”

“You are a dork.”

“Yeah I am, I’ve been told it’s rather endearing.”

“That may be a little true,” Pedro said after a pause. The blush was back.

“Well seeing as you proposed to me not half an hour ago, I would hope it is,” he decided to keep pushing. Pedro obviously wasn’t bothered by it, and it was rather thrilling.

“Oh god, stop bringing that up! Can’t a guy pop the question these days without it being the talk of the town?”

“Life is cruel young Peter-wan.”

Pedro dramatically face-palmed at the pun.

“Seriously Balthy? Peter-wan? That was the worst Star Wars pun I’ve ever heard, and I’m friends with Benedick, so that means something!”

“I’m hilarious and you know it.”

“No, I really don’t, why am I even talking to you?” His words said one thing, but his grin said another, and both of them made Balthazar’s stomach twist.

“My incomparable good looks.”

Pedro looked at him for a long second before replying. “Oh yeah of course,” he said playfully.

“Don’t even try to deny it.”

“I’m not denying anything,” Pedro held up his hands, “not one negative word left my mouth.”

“Don’t be sarcastic.”

“But I’m so good at it!”

“I’m afraid you’re not half as good as you think you are.”

“Is that a fact? Think you’re better?”

“Oh I know it.”

“Not a chance, _Stanley,_ ” Pedro leaned in close to the camera.

“We both know I’m right  _Peter,_ ” Balthazar mirrored him.

They stayed staring at each other for a few seconds, before Pedro sat back in his chair, letting out a huff.

“I’ve actually completely forgotten what we were talking about,” he chuckled.

“Same,” Balthazar lied.

“So… or should I say _sol,_ ” Pedro winked, “I’m going over to Beatrice’s tomorrow to apologise to Hero for what happened. Do you want to come with? You obviously don’t have anything to apologise for, but I could do with the support.”

“Yeah, that sounds fine by me. What time?”

“Well I’m planning on getting there at about one if that suits you? So I'll knock for you at around ten to?”

“Yep that’s fine and dandy.”

“They’re not the words I was expecting you to use, but cool.”

“Expect the unexpected from me, I’m so mysterious,” he wiggled his eyebrows at the screen.

“Oh yeah, you’re a total enigma,” Pedro laughed.

“That’s me. The enig-man.”

Pedro made a show of groaning, but Balthazar was pretty sure he caught a laugh in there somewhere.

“Balthy I hate you.”

“Ah but you don’t though.”

“I really do, you're the absolute worst.”

“No that would be you.”

“Then why are you still here talking to me?”

Because I really like you, because you’re gorgeous, because you’re funny, because I’m testing myself, because this flirting thing we have is exhilarating, because because because…

“Because I’m such a charitable person, duh.”

“I’m truly honoured to be worthy of your time.”

“You should be, it’s worth a lot.”

“I can see why.”

“I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. I was beginning to think you were going to resist my charms for ever.”

“That’s not possible Balthy, you’re quite the catch.”

_Then date me._

“Don’t I know it.”

The conversation moved on, and the next thing Balthazar knew it was past midnight, and he couldn’t hold in his yawns any longer.

“Look man I have to sleep now, especially if you want me in the morning.”

That wasn’t exactly how he planned the words to come out of his mouth, but he couldn’t take them back, so he just had to accept Pedro’s laugh.

“Fair enough, go to sleep man. I’ll see you tomorrow, it's a date.”

There was a moment of silence as they both digested that.

“Figuratively speaking of course,” he backtracked, adding another blush to his repertoire for the evening.

“A figurative date it is then,” Balthazar winked at him, yawning again. “Goodnight Pedro.”

“Goodnight Balthy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pedro cannot flirt, it's a proven fact.


	21. Chapter 21

Balthazar woke up in the worst possible way, the sound of the doorbell forcing him into the cold plunge of consciousness. Not that it was cold per say, but his soul felt a bit chilly. He fell out of bed and down the stairs, cursing his mother for forgetting her keys. He opened the door grumpily to be greeted by… not his mother. It was Pedro. Shit.

“Balthy?” Pedro sounded confused, and Balthazar really didn’t blame him.

Why was he even here? Why was he so early? Was there some sort of emergency, or… oh. He had overslept. His sleep-addled brain was slow to come to the conclusion, but he got there eventually, after staring blankly for a good twenty seconds.

“Oh crap man, my alarm mustn't have gone off or something, I am so sorry.” He distinctly remembered his alarm beeping loudly before he smashed the snooze button, but he wasn’t about to tell Pedro that.

“Hey no worries, there’s no huge rush anyway.”

“That’s a relief. Come in and sit down while I get dressed and un-zombify myself. Help yourself to tea or whatever in the kitchen.” He led Pedro inside and deposited him at the kitchen table with promises a speedy return.

“Shit shit _shit_ ,” he muttered to himself as he raced upstairs. The sight of his reflection in the mirror caused him to flinch; his usual giant t-shirt and shorts wasn’t exactly stunning, and combined with his extremely messy hair, he looked quite the sight. Well if that hadn’t sent Pedro running for the hills, nothing would. After dressing at the speed of light, he raced back downstairs to find Pedro talking to Rosa. That couldn’t possibly end well.

“Hey guys,” he said as he entered the kitchen. So far neither of them was looking suspicious, but that didn’t guarantee anything.

“Hey Balthy,” Pedro greeted him.

 _Balthy?_ Rosa mouthed at him from her spot behind Pedro, a smirk on her face. Yep, there had definitely been some interfering going on. Great.

“We should probably be going if we want to get there before, I don’t know, the apocalypse or something, so I’ll see you later okay Rosa?” He resolutely ignored her pointed looks at Pedro, something he was actually quite proud of.

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” that sounded like a promise, and not a comforting one. “Bye Pedro, thanks for telling me about Balthazar and Ben.”

He shot an exasperated look at Pedro, who was looking rather sheepish.

“Oh yeah I might have mentioned about the whole fake-dating thing,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You’re making a habit of that,” Balthazar replied, adding a smile so he knew it was a joke.

“I guess I am,” Pedro chuckled. “Right, it was nice meeting you Rosa.”

“You too.”

Balthazar looked back over his shoulder to see her shaking her head at them as they left the kitchen. “We’ll have a nice chat later,” she whispered, “and don’t think you can get out of it.”

Well that was just fabulous.

“Sorry about that,” he told Pedro as soon as they were out the door.

“What? No I don’t mind she seems really nice.”

“No I mean about the lateness.”

“Oh that, don’t worry about it, it was worth it to see you in that giant shirt. Where did you even get something that size?”

He could feel himself blushing, and he hated it. Goddamn anatomy, his ears were probably red as well, it was so inconvenient.

“It’s actually just an XXL, it just looks huge because I’m, y’know, not the tallest.”

“Funsize.”

“Hey hey hey,” he wiggled his eyebrows, and now Pedro was the one with the red face. This really was fun.

“So what are you going to say to Hero?” he asked on a serious note.

“Oh god, I’m going to apologise obviously, and the probably continue to apologise for the rest of the day, then I'm going to get her some food as a peace offering, probably a pizza.”

“Food is a good idea, we do need nutrients to stay alive, so she’ll probably appreciate that one.”

“Nothing says _I’m sorry_ like providing nutrients, that’s for sure.”

“You will literally be aiding her in the struggle for life, there’s no way she can hold out over that.”

“When you put it like that it sounds so simple.”

“Well it’s not _simple_ , trust me I spent enough time trying to text you last night to know that, but I’m sure she’ll accept your apology. Let’s face it, most of what happened was Tony’s fault.”

“Yeah I guess. I did cause a scene at her party though, and I’m the one who invited Tony, so I feel responsible.”

“No, you participated in a scene, Tony caused it. And by that logic I’m to blame for introducing you to Tony, so there’s no need to go down that route.”

“You do know it’s not your fault right? That thought shouldn't be in your mind at all, because it's not true, seriously.”

“Yeah I know. I thought about it for a while, and my biggest screw-up was not warning you about him, but you’ve forgiven me for that so I’m cool.”

“Good. Also, did I hear you say you were nervous to text me last night?”

“Oh yeah, I was worried about apologising and stuff, I didn’t know if you were mad at me or not.”

“Well I wasn’t.”

“I know that now, but I didn’t at the time.”

Pedro stopped as they drew level with the Duke’s house, and he took a deep breath before starting down the driveway. The sound of the doorbell seemed to reverberate in Balthazar’s ears, and if he was slightly nervous, Pedro was probably in some serious turmoil.

It was Beatrice who opened the door, and her face hardened at the sight of Pedro.

“Hi,” she greeted him without enthusiasm.

“Hi. Can I come in? I want to apologise.”

“I guess. Hey Balthy, how are you?”

“I’m fine, you?”

“I’ve been better, a close friend of mine started a screaming match at my cousin’s birthday, so I’m a little pissed off, but apart from that I have no complaints,” she told him, though they both knew she was addressing Pedro.

“Bea I can explain,” he appealed.

“Then explain. Hero'll be down in a second.”

They sat down on the couches to wait for Hero, Beatrice sitting opposite them in a strange mirror of their get-together a few days previously. Was it really only a few days? It felt like so much longer.

“Hi guys,” Hero entered. She sat down beside Beatrice, giving her cousin a hard look. That was odd.

“Hero I am so sorry for your party,” Pedro began without preamble. “I know I was the worst, but Tony was tearing into Balthy and I couldn’t just stand by and watch. Then he started shouting, and I started shouting, and it was just a mess, I am so sorry.”

“You make it sound like I was standing there and taking it,” Balthazar muttered to himself.

“I didn’t mean it like that, sorry,” Pedro told him sincerely. Apparently he hadn’t been quite as quiet as he thought.

“It’s cool.”

“Pedro I don’t blame you for what happened,” Hero told him carefully. “Tony is the culprit, and you just got a bit carried away from the sound of things, so apology accepted.”

That was a lot easier than Balthazar expected. Not that he was anticipating a hugely drawn-out process, but that had barely taken a minute.

“Thank you,” Pedro told her solemnly.

“For the record, I was all for stringing you out for a while,” Beatrice interjected, “but Hero talked me down, luckily for you.”

“I’m glad I don’t have to be on the receiving end of the wrath of Beatrice.”

“Oh shut up,” she stuck her tongue out at him, a smile peeking through her stony façade.

“I know you said it was fine, but I’d still like to make a peace offering. Do you guys feel like pizza?”

“I didn’t say it was fine, I said I forgive you, but yes pizza sounds great,” Hero said.

“Sorry,” he said meekly, “I’ll go and get that then, do you guys want the usual toppings?”

They both nodded at him, Beatrice looking a bit more cheerful at the prospect of pizza.

“Do you want a hand with them?” Balthazar asked.

“Em yeah, that’d be great,” he replied. “Also I don’t know your pizza order, so you’ll have to tell me.”

“I’m a pepperoni guy.”

“I can accept that.”

“Well I’d hope so, because that’s what I’ll be ordering.”

They waved goodbye to the girls, promising to be back in a half hour at the latest. The high ceilings once again caught Balthazar’s attention as they made their way to the door, distracting him so much that he didn’t notice Ben at the door, his hand poised to knock, and only Pedro holding him back saved him from barrelling straight into the guy - again.

“Oh hi guys,” Ben said after the initial surprise at seeing them wore off. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“We could say the same thing,” Pedro said.

“Yeah I was just coming to talk to Beatrice about some school stuff.”

“School stuff, sure whatever you say,” Balthazar teased.

“You shut up,” he replied, but there was a definite red flush to his face, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the weather.

“Okay, okay, touchy,” he laughed as they moved around him.

“We’re off to get pizza Ben, do you want the usual?” Pedro asked.

“Oh yeah that sounds awesome, thanks.”

“No bother, I’m pretty sure I own you something like ten pizzas anyway, so it’s my pleasure.”

“That is probably true,” Ben nodded seriously. “I’ll see you guys in a while then.”

“That you will.”

Ben took a deep breath before entering the house, and Balthazar silently wished him good luck. Hopefully one of them could make some progress, he thought, before turning his attention back to Pedro. Or maybe both of them could...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ending on ellipses, that gives me some serious flashbacks. There was a point in my life, somewhere around age fourteen, when I would end every single story I wrote like that *shudder*.


	22. Chapter 22

“I can’t believe you put pineapple and sweetcorn on a pizza,” Balthazar said as they left the pizza place, “let alone _together_.” He shuddered dramatically.

“I stand by my choice,” Pedro replied stoically, “and all this complaining means you’re not allowed to steal even a little bit of it.”

“I wouldn’t want to.”

“Have you ever actually tasted Hawaiian?” he asked.

“Well no, but I’m pretty sure it’s a sin.”

“You have no idea what you’re missing out on my friend.”

“And no wish to find out.”

“Whatever, it’s your loss.”

As if. There was no way fruit on a pizza could be anything but disgusting, and he wasn't willing to budge on the issue.

“I’m sure it is. Hey can I call you Pineapple Pedro?”

“You most certainly cannot!” Pedro looked genuinely terrified.

“Yeah you’re right,” he watched Pedro relax before finishing his sentence with a grin, “Pineapple _Peter_ is so much better.”

“Balthazar you are the most evil person I know, I actually hate your guts.”

“Because there’s no pineapple in them?”

“Stop! I will literally pay you – I’ll do anything! And please, I am begging you with all of my soul, do not say that around Bea and Ben, they’ll eat me alive!”

“Like a pineapple?”

“Well actually Beatrice is slightly allergic to pineapple,” Pedro said, attempting to change the topic.

“Really?”

“Yeah. We found out at a rather entertaining picnic back in the day. She’s not dangerously allergic, but her tongue kind of swells up a bit.”

“That sounds… I don’t really know to be honest. We’d better keep you away from her then.” Balthazar wasn't distracted that easily. If Pedro wanted to take his mind off the topic, he would have to resort to a different strategy. He quickly shut down that part of his brain - that was a dangerous train of thought.

“At this point I wish you were allergic to pineapple,” Pedro said, but Balthazar could see the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Ouch. That cuts me to the _core_.”

“That was terrible.”

“You’re very _prickly_ today.”

“Pineapples aren’t even that prickly!” he exclaimed, but he was definitely smiling now, there was no hiding it.

“I guess, but you can vitamin  _see_ what I was getting at anyway.”

“You’re the worst, you are literally driving me away!”

“Yes, my plan is coming to _fruit-_ ion!”

“Enough! I give up! Call me pineapple, call me Peter, call me whatever the heck you want, just stop with the puns!” Pedro cried.

“Okay.”

“Thank you!”

“You loved them though, don’t try to deny it.”

“I will admit nothing.”

“You don’t have to, your smile tells me everything.”

“Not everything I hope.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh nothing...” he trailed off as they reached the house.

Hero opened the door when they knocked, reaching out to help them with the pizzas.

“Oh my god these smell so good,” she exclaimed, leading them inside. “Can we make pizza our official apology-food? Because there's no way I'd be able to hold out over this smell, let alone the taste.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Pedro told her sincerely, “I can’t apologise enough.”

“Oh shush,” she replied, waving him down, “that’s all over now.”

Beatrice and Ben were nowhere to be seen as they entered the lounge. Balthazar looked around, half expecting them to jump out of a corner.

“Oh they went upstairs to check Bea’s physics notes,” Hero said, noticing his puzzled expression.

“Should I go and get them?”

“Yeah actually,” she said, “that’d be great. Bea’s room is the first one on the left. It’s super messy, so don’t be shocked.”

“Noted.”

He left them pouring drinks, and ran up the stairs. Beatrice’s door was wide open, but neither her nor Ben were anywhere to be seen. That was odd. Hero had said the first room on the left hadn’t she? It definitely looked like Bea’s room; it was a complete bombsite like Hero warned him, and the schoolbooks strewn all over the floor had her name on them. But where were Bea and Ben?

Suddenly he heard a noise from behind him, and he looked back at the hall to see the two of them coming out of what looked like the bathroom.

“The bath wasn’t half as comfortable as you said it would be,” Beatrice said to Ben, keeping her voice down. Neither of them had noticed him yet.

“Yeah well usually it’s just me in it, and usually there’s a lot less kissing,” he replied with a whisper.

Whoa okay. So they had been making out in a bath, that was a bit weird, but he could get past it. However, now he had to walk out, and there would be no pretending he hadn’t heard them. Oh dear lord this was going to be awkward. Should he wait until they went downstairs, and then claim that he missed them? No, nobody would believe that, there was only one set of stairs.

He spent so long deliberating that the choice was taken from him as they walked into the room. There was a moment of silence; Beatrice and Benedick staring at him in horror, and him looking back at them like a deer in headlights.

“Em, the pizza’s here,” he said eventually.

“Shit,” both of them replied in unison.

“I didn’t... I mean nothing... I mean I just…” he trailed off, unable to find an excuse.

“Please don’t tell them,” Beatrice said.

“Oh yeah, no worries,” he mimed zipping his lips.

“It’s just that it’s kind of a new thing, and we don’t want to say anything before… Well honestly they’re going to end up teasing us about it, and we just want to stave that off for as long as possible,” Ben explained.

“Yeah I can see that.”

“Great, so you’ll keep it a secret?”

“Sure. For how long though?”

“Until they find out I guess,” Beatrice shrugged.

“That might not be as long as you want, seeing as you were literally making out in a bath when we were just downstairs.”

“We should probably work on that,” Ben said to her.

“Work on it eh?” she replied with a smirk.

“Exactly,” he grinned back.

“Guys I’m still here by the way,” Balthazar interrupted their flirting, because he really didn’t need to hear that, even if they were kind of cute.

“Oh yeah sorry,” Ben said hurriedly, “I can’t flirt with my girlfriend in front of my ex-fake-boyfriend, it’s just not done.”

“You’re breaking my heart Hobbes.”

“I do apologise. Now did I hear you say pizza was ready?”

“You did indeed, you must be hungry.”

“Oh shut up.”

He started down the stairs, the two of them following behind him, whispering to each other. He tried his absolute best not to listen in, but he couldn't help but hear a few snippets.

“Girlfriend?” Beatrice asked.

“Oh, is that okay? I just kind of thoug-” Ben floundered, before she cut him off.

“No it’s fine. Girlfriend is fine. I just… yeah girlfriend is fine, great actually.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Dear lord they were cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to weigh in on the topic and say that I fully support pineapple on pizza, especially when it comes with ham and sweetcorn.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen the film 'Stand by Me', but would like to understand the reference made, just watch this two minute clip:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK0JaEde4VI  
> I warn you, it's kind of gross.

“Okay see you guys whenever,” Ben called out as he shut the door behind him. He, Beatrice, and Pedro had left to go to what they called their semi-regular mini golf battle. They had taken the pizza boxes with them, and the table looked rather empty in their absence. Balthazar couldn’t say the same for his stomach.

“I have never in my entire life been as full as this,” Balthazar stretched back in his seat.

“I have,” Hero told him lazily. “During one of Bea’s visits, I think it was the summer when I was twelve, we were at some event, I don’t remember what exactly, but there was an honest to god pie-eating contest, and we obviously entered. It was one of the funniest experiences I've ever had. Looking back I’m just glad we were able to use our hands to eat the pies, because I have since seen the movie ‘Stand by Me’, and let me just tell you I never want that to happen.”

“Oh my god stop that scene is my downfall, I physically have to look away when it comes on.”

“Ugh I know right.”

“But here’s the important question, did you win the contest?”

“Oh gosh no,” Hero made a face. “I came third though, which I am still incredibly proud of, because some of the other people were full on professional pie-eaters.”

“They completed nearly ten years of study to get their pie-eating PHDs, and then you swooped in, a twelve year old newb, and placed third. They’d been training their whole life and you took it away from them.”

“What can I say, I was a prodigy.”

“Was? Did you peak too soon? Are you a washed-up child genius at sixteen? Can I write a song about you because I really want to.”

“I’m afraid you cannot, as I am currently chronicling my experience in my thousand-page teenage memoir, and I simply can’t have you leaking my story before I get a chance to tell it in full.”

“I accept that. However, I'm going to do it anyway, take credit for the idea, and then send you increasingly annoying letters about my success.”

“Jokes on you, that will only add to my tragic experience, and give me more material to publish!”

“Curse you Hero, you have this all figured out.”

“You better believe it.”

“Oh I do. You are my hero.”

“You’re so funny,” she replied sarcastically.

“I get that a lot, in that exact tone actually.”

They kept chatting back and forth, until eventually Hero's expression turned serious.

“So,” she began, sitting forward, “what’s up with you and Pedro?”

“What? Nothing.”

“Balthazar…” she gave him a look that could only be described as ‘cut the bull’.

“Fine, I don’t know okay? But I’m having a lot of fun with the whole talking thing, so my plan is to keep going, maybe keep pushing, and see what happens.”

“That sounds good. Just watch it doesn’t end up like Beatrice and Ben, forever squabbling and never getting anywhere.”

Oh she was in for a shock. He was surprised Beatrice hadn’t told her; apparently when she said _everyone_ , she really did mean everyone.

“Yeah, well we’ll see how it goes.”

“If it helps you guys are adorable. You kind of…” she trailed off searching for the right words. “When you guys are talking to each other you both kind of light up, and you play off each other so well, it’s lovely. You’re good for him you know. Well you probably don’t, but Pedro’s always had trouble just relaxing completely, like he’s always projecting, but from what I can see he seems to be letting all of that go around you.”

Wow, that was heavy. It was weird being told you had such an effect on somebody, but definitely flattering.

“That’s really something,” he said eventually.

“Yeah I know that went a bit deep, but that’s what it is. For the record I think you guys would make a really good couple.”

“Thanks, that means a lot coming from my absolute hero, the third best pie-eater of some random event four years ago.”

“I know my title is intimidating, but do try to accept it, it’s part of who I am.”

“It is your burden to bear.”

“And bear it I do. Now I have an image of myself hulking out, except into a bear instead of a giant green guy.”

“That is literally the opposite of your usual self, and I love it. That is the last thing I'd think of looking at you.”

“Well it’s like Ben said back at the picnic about judging and all.”

“Benedick Hobbes, the wisest man of our generation.”

“Dear lord we’re screwed,” she laughed.

“Yeah. At the risk of sounding twelve, do you, from your objective viewpoint, think perhaps Pedro might have some kind of non-platonic feelings towards me?”

“Dear lord, are you trying to reach a word count or something? What’s wrong with _Hero, you’re so incredibly wise and intuitive, does Pedro like me back?_ ”

“Because I literally don’t think I can bring myself to say the words _does Pedro like me back_ , it feels so juvenile.”

“Balthazar I didn’t take you for a snob. And yeah, I definitely think he returns your affections, or as I prefer to say, he has a super massive crush right back at you.”

“You crush me with your words.”

“While simultaneously lifting you up yeah?”

“Indeed.”

“You’re still a bit pretentious though.”

Oh dear lord he was going to have to explain his reason to her, wasn't he? He took a deep breath before replying - he need to psych himself up.

“I can’t believe I’m telling you this, trust me you’re in a place of privilege, but the real reason is that back when I myself was twelve I literally, yes literally, wrote a song with the lyrics _do you like me back_. Some other notable lines include _I like-like you, do you like-like me too,_ and _we could like kiss and stuff_. It was a dark period for me, and I already regret telling you.”

“That is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“If you tell anybody I will scalp you in your sleep.”

“Ouch. I pinky swear I won’t tell anybody.”

“A pinky swear?”

“What, do you have a problem with pinky swears now?”

A satisfied look crossed her face as Balthazar shook his head meekly.

“Exactly, let's do it,” she reached across the table and linked their fingers. “I pinky swear that I won’t tell anybody of the musical genius of twelve year old Balthazar Jones,” she said solemnly, “even though he couldn’t hold a candle to my pie-eating skills.”

“You’re very modest.”

“What can I say, I try.”

“You are an inspiration to us all.”

“It’s a gift and a burden.”

“If Ben was here he’s make a bird pun, and I just want you to know I’m above that.”

“No, because in mentioning the bird pun, you’ve basically had the effect of a bird pun without having to actually be smart and think of one, so you lose.”

“Curse you, you’ve seen through my cunning ploy.”

“You can’t fool me.”

“It appears I can’t.”

He didn’t want to fool her though. The word “chill” pretty much encapsulated their afternoon, and they were still chatting aimlessly when Beatrice arrived back two hours later – the only change was when they migrated to the couch.

“Have you guys just been talking all afternoon?” she asked them.

“Pretty much,” Hero replied, “you missed out, it was great fun.”

Yeah, it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was brought to you courtesy of the song "I Need a Hero", and before you ask, yes, it was the Shrek version.


	24. Chapter 24

Pre-show nerves were the worst. He knew his set back to front, and he had absolutely no doubt about it, but his stomach just wasn’t listening. The crowd at the pizza place wasn’t even a crowd, it was an assortment of people who happened to be eating. It didn’t matter though, he would be performing in front of strangers, who may or may not end up actually listening to him, and he was nervous about it. It probably didn’t help that it had been over a month since the last time he'd played in public.

Finally it hit six o’clock and he stepped up onto the so-called stage, which was really just a stool on a tiny raised area of the restaurant.

“Hi everyone, my name is Balthazar and I’m going to be playing some music for you tonight. I hope you enjoy it, and if you like what you hear feel free to look me up on soundcloud, the name’s Balthazar Jones.”

Phew, that was the introduction out of the way. It was his least favourite part of the night, no doubt about it. At least he actually knew what he had to do for the music, his introduction was always so awkward, he never really knew what to say.  Tonight’s had been one of the better ones, even though he ended up saying his name twice; he knew better now than to try a joke – that had not gone down well. He began to relax as he started his set, forgetting the people and losing himself in the music. He really did love this job, despite the nerves, he basically got paid to sit and play guitar, what could be better than that?

The three hours passed quickly, as they always did.

“That was a good set tonight,” the manager told him. Rachel was the one who had got him the gig in the first place, she had heard him playing in the park one day and asked him did he want the job. That had been about a year ago, and since then they had become pretty good friends, even if they didn’t really see each other outside of the pizza place.

“Thanks, I decided to throw some new stuff in, I’m glad it went down well.”

“It definitely did, I had five people ask me could where they could buy your music, you need to put out an EP or something.”

“You say that every time.”

“I mean it! There’s some serious demand out there Jones.”

“Oh yeah, the Sunday night pizza crowd is really starting a campaign.”

“Get that sarcasm out of here.”

“Ma’am yes ma’am!”

“You’re despicable. At any rate your boyfriend seemed to like it, so that must count for something.”

“My boyfriend has to like it, he’s – wait what? What boyfriend? I’m currently single as far as I’m aware.”

“Oh sorry, my bad, I just presumed the guy was your boyfriend, he came in at six and hasn’t left yet, he’s been hovering over a pepsi for the past ten minutes waiting for you to be ready. Anyway I have to go and do manager stuff now, which is code for going into the back to text Lyssa, so I’ll see you next week. The guy’s at table four by the way,” she gestured, walking past him.

It was a pity Lyssa wasn’t here, she’d undoubtedly have more to say than _he’s at table four._ Also her and Rachel were incredibly cute together, and they always left him with a smile on his face.

He moved into a position where he could see table four, doing his absolute best to seem nonchalant. The guys was facing away from him, so Balthazar couldn’t see his face, but he had blonde hair, seemed fairly built, and oh he was turning around, and _oh_. It was Pedro. His face lit up when he noticed Balthazar, who probably looked like a deer in headlights - a look that was becoming worryingly regular for him.

“Balthy!” Pedro called, jumping up from his table and making his way over. “Hey man you were brilliant!”

“Em, hi, I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Oh yeah, the manager, Rachel I think, mentioned to me yesterday that you were playing. It was when I was paying for the pizzas and you said you’d wait outside. I figured I’d come by and see you play, and I’m glad I did because you’re really good.”

“Thanks man, that means a lot. That’s actually really cool that you came along.”

Honestly he was flattered. Pedro had sat at a table on his own for three hours just to hear him play, who wouldn’t be happy with that?

“Well it’s like I said, I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad you’re glad.”

“I’m glad you’re glad I’m glad.”

“I’m going to nip this in the bud before it gets any further.”

“Fine _Stanley,_ end the fun.”

“I thought we were both far too intimidating to use our real names, or has that just fallen by the wayside.”

“As far as I remember, it was you who called me Peter first, and I merely retaliated, so really it’s all your fault.”

“That’s not how I remember it,” Balthazar grumbled.

“Of course it’s not, but I’m right.”

“Oh are you now?” he teased as Pedro paid for his meal.

“I am yeah.”

“I don’t believe you.”

They turned to leave, but not before Rachel gave Balthazar an exaggerated thumbs up. Or was it directed at Pedro, he couldn’t tell. He did know, however, that they both had red faces and slight smiles as they walked out the door.

“Do you do many gigs then?” Pedro asked as they started walking towards home.

“Not a huge amount. I play there pretty much every Sunday, but I haven’t in a while because of Christmas and whatnot. Then I sometimes play in that café you and Tony went to, but that’s not a regular thing. I’m actually playing there this Tuesday night, they have this dance thing planned - there’s going to be a few musicians, and I’m second in the line-up, so that should be cool.”

“Can I stop by? I mean I know I can just go without asking like I did today, but if you don’t want me coming I won’t.”

He was floundering, but he still had a slight blush on his face, and he was absolutely adorable. Huh, that was weird, Balthazar usually didn’t consider people adorable, but it appeared Pedro was the exception.

“Of course you can come by, it’s actually really cool that you came tonight too. Just so you know I don’t hate your presence.”

Quite the opposite actually.

“Oh, well that’s certainly good to hear.”

“I bet it is. My seal of approval doesn’t come lightly you know.”

“Is that a fact?” Pedro looked at him strangely, and suddenly Balthazar was having a bit of trouble getting his words out.

“Yeah,” he said eventually, his voice low, “it is.”

“Good,” Pedro whispered as they drew up to Balthazar’s house.

“I should go,” he gestured inside, cringing at how cliché his words were. That was the exact line used in every sitcom ever.

“I guess I’ll have to let you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow probably, and I’ll see you on Tuesday.”

“I look forward to it.”

“As do I,” Pedro finished seriously, making Balthazar’s insides twist as he turned to walk away.

“Goodnight Peter,” he called once Pedro was halfway down the street.

“Goodnight Stanley,” he replied, without looking back. Balthazar knew he was smiling, he didn’t have to see his face, as much as he might like to. This was beginning to develop, and it was equal parts nerve-wrecking and exhilarating. He couldn’t wait to see how it played out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was posted at 23:54, so I am officially still on track.


	25. Chapter 25

The café was as full as he’d ever seen it. That, paired with the fact that Pedro was coming, meant Balthazar had the worst case of pre-show nerves he could remember, apart from the first time he played of course.

“Hey are you okay?” Louis asked him from behind the counter.

“Yeah I’m fine. Just a bit nervous, you know how it is.”

“I don’t actually. You couldn’t pay me to do what you do, I'll stick to making the coffee.”

“It’s nice for some,” Balthazar stuck his tongue out at him.

“Oh yeah, you’re such a star, my lifestyle must be so completely foreign to you,” Louis laughed. It was funny because they were practically the same person, discounting the musical side of things. They looked completely different – Louis was tall and dark-skinned, the exact opposite of him – but their personalities were pretty much identical. In fact that was how Balthazar had gotten his first gig at the café; Louis had heard him playing his usual set at the pizza-place, they had started talking afterwards, and it just happened.

“What can I say, talent changes you. I should get started though, my fans await. I'll talk to you later.”

Louis flipped him off as he left to get set up, before cringing when the manger noticed him. Balthazar walked away to the sound of muffled scolding, shaking his head fondly. It was honestly a wonder the boy still had a job - he spent more time being given out to than he did actually working.

His eyes scanned the room once he started playing. Where was Pedro? It wasn’t like him to be late. Maybe he couldn’t make it for some reason, though he probably would have texted his apologies. Whatever, he was probably just held up, and would arrive in a minute.

It was a half hour later before the door opened and Pedro walked in, followed by the rest of the gang. That was unexpected, but he couldn’t keep a smile off his face as they waved to him. He was in the middle of a song, so he merely wiggled his eyebrows in acknowledgement, prompting Beatrice to pretend to faint into Ben’s arms - that earned them some raised eyebrows of their own. They really were terrible at hiding their relationship, Balthazar gave them a week tops before they were outed, and that was being generous.

They sat down in a booth to his right, and stayed for the rest of his set. It wasn’t very long, only another half hour, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

*

“Thanks,” he accepted Louis’ offer of a drink of water as he collected his things from the back.

“No bother, you were really good tonight, I liked the new stuff.”

“Oh yeah, I tried them out for the first time on Sunday and they seemed to go down well, so I figured I’d work them in tonight too.”

“Well it was a good call. Your friends seem nice, I haven’t seen them before.”

“I only met them like a week ago.”

“Oh that’s cool.”

“It is indeed. How long are you working tonight?”

“Ugh my break ends pretty much now, and then I’m here until eleven, I’ve to stay late because of this dance thing,” he groaned.

“Ouch,” Balthazar grimaced in sympathy. “When’s that kicking off again?”

“Well officially it’s already started with your set, but the actual dancing isn't for another hour or so.”

“Well enjoy. I’d better be going, the guys are waiting outside.”

“The guys huh?” Louis smiled.

“Oh shut up.”

“You know be better than to think I’m going to.”

“That is very true. Anyway, I’ll see you whenever.”

“See you whenever.”

He came out of the back, pausing for a moment to listen to the next musician, before joining the others at their booth where they were in the middle of a heated debate about birds.

“I am never going to be able to take the blue tit seriously Ben, so just stop trying,” Claudio said, as he moved up to let Balthazar in.

“You are an infant. At least admit that flamingos are awesome and we can end this.”

“Yes,” Beatrice interjected, “just admit it so this can be over.”

“Fine,” Claudio threw up his hands, “flamingos are cool I guess. But not as cool as eagles.”

Ben looked aghast, and the entire table groaned.

“Why on earth would you say that?” Ursula hissed at him.

“Well they're not!” he protested indignantly.

Balthazar raised his eyebrows questioningly at Pedro across the table, who shook his head in reply.  _Don’t ask,_ he mouthed. 

Fortunately Louis interrupted them to bring more coffee.

“Right so that’s refills for everyone. Do you want anything Balthy? It’s on the house because you technically work here.”

“Just water is fine Louis.”

“Cool, I’ll bring all of that down in a minute.”

“Who’s that?” Meg asked once he’d left to another table.

“That’s Louis, he works here - obviously.”

“He’s cute,” she noted, looking appreciatively in his direction.

“Yeah I guess,” he shrugged. “So what did you guys think of my set?”

“Oh you were great,” Meg drew her attention away from Louis, “like seriously you know how to music.”

“Nice verb usage,” he laughed.

“Thanks.”

“You were really good,” Ursula told him. “Is that last song the one you were practising in art class before Christmas?”

“Oh yeah it was, the middle of it drove me mad, I couldn’t get it to sound right for ages.”

“Well it definitely sounded good tonight,” Claudio nudged him.

“Cheers man.”

“I really liked the song about the hawk,” Ben said, leaning over the table. “What I can’t believe, however, is that you didn’t tell us you were playing. We wouldn’t have known about it at all if Pedro hadn’t told us.”

“I didn’t really think about it to be honest. The only reason Pedro knew was that he came to a set I did at the pizza-place on Sunday, and I didn’t even tell him about that, the manager did when we got pizzas last week.”

Ben took a second to absorb that before turning to Pedro sitting beside him.

“You mean to tell me you went on Sunday and you didn’t invite us? Not only did we miss pizza, we missed Balthazar? What’s up with that man?”

“Ben we all know what’s up with that,” Ursula laughed, making Pedro’s ears redden. He opened his mouth to retaliate, but was cut off by Louis' return.

“Okay, four coffees, two teas, one green tea, and a water for Balthy,” he set their drinks down. “Can I get you anything else? No? Okay, enjoy your drinks. Oh and Balthy you left your blazer in the back, pop back and get it whenever you’re ready.”

Oh, it appeared he had. He had probably been a bit optimistic wearing it in the first place, seeing as the temperature was still disgustingly high, but he had decided to chance it.

“I’ll be back in one minute,” he told the table, standing up. “I’m just going to get that.”

Sure enough, his blazer was hung up on the otherwise-empty coat rack. He shook his head as he grabbed it, taking another look around the room to see if he’d left anything else. He hadn’t thankfully, and he headed back out to the others.

“Oh hey Balthy,” Louis grabbed him as he walked past the counter.

“Yeah? Shouldn’t you be working?”

“I am working, look at me I’m wearing an apron and everything. But hey, who’s that guy at your table, the blonde one?”

There was only one blonde guy at their table, apart from himself.

“Pedro?” it came out as a question.

“Right, well could you kindly tell him I don’t like you? Wait no, not that I don’t like you, but that I’m not in love with you. He was glaring a hole in my forehead when I brought over the drinks.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I don’t know what you guys have going on, but he didn’t care when I was smiling at the others, just you. I kind of like my head attached to the rest of my body, so please tell him he has no need to worry. Pretend I have a girlfriend or boyfriend, I literally don’t care, just tell him to stop glaring because it’s getting a bit creepy.”

“Fine okay, sorry my incredible attractiveness is giving you hassle.”

Louis gave him an exaggerated once-over. “I can’t say I like his taste, but whatever you say.”

“Oh shut up, you know I’m a catch.”

“Whatever, enjoy your delusion.”

“Jerk.”

“Dick.”

“Louis!” came a scandalised voice from behind. Balthazar took that as his cue to leave. Yvonne, the manager, had never given out to him before, but there was always a first time, so he let his sense of self-preservation lead the way.

“Sorry about that,” he said, sitting back down.

“Oh good, you’re back,” Ursula said, “what’s this dance thing about?”

“Oh, it’s this new thing they’re doing, I think they’re aiming for once a month or something. Basically they've invite in a bunch of local musicians for the evening, myself included, and then once it hits eight o’clock they’re going to move all the tables in section four, that’s that corner over there,” he pointed, “and invite people to dance.”

“That sounds cool,” Meg said, “can we stay for that? It’s only an hour, and they do sandwiches and stuff here, so we could get food in the meantime.”

She looked around to gauge their reaction, counting seven nods. “Brilliant,” she beamed, “that is a plan.”

“I’ll call Louis to get the food,” Balthazar said automatically, waving to catch the guy’s attention. He turned back to the table and winced when he noticed Pedro’s face darken.

This was a tricky situation. Even though Louis had okay-ed it, there was no way he was going to lie about him going out with someone, there had been far too much fake-dating going on recently as it was. So how was he going to approach this? Now that it had been pointed out to him, he couldn’t help but notice Pedro staring at Louis. He needed to fix this and fast.

“Louis is cool, he’s been really nice since I started playing here,” he began. That wasn’t a very promising start if Pedro’s face was any indication.

“Is he the one who got you the job?” Hero asked.

“Yeah he is actually, he’s a really good _friend_ ,” he replied, looking directly at Pedro. Hopefully that got the message across. It seemed to pacify the situation slightly; Louis bounced up to their table to take their order, and Pedro barely glanced at him, he was too intent at staring at Balthazar. He only looked up when Claudio cleared this throat pointedly.

“Oh yeah, I’ll have a tuna melt.”

“I’ll have a cheese toastie,” Balthazar said after him. The toasties here weren’t quite as good as the place beside the pet-store, but they were still pretty nice.

“Right, so one Tuna melt, three cheese toasties, a BLT, two chicken wraps, one chicken salad, and a partridge in a pear tree, is that right?”

“Extra sauce with that partridge,” Ben quipped.

“Noted, that’ll be about fifteen minutes because we’re kind of busy.”

“That’s fine,” Hero told him.

They settled back into the booth to await their food, Beatrice glaring at Ben to shoot down his attempt at briningg the bird conversation back. However, there was no malice in the glare, and it quickly faded into a smile, causing Hero to look questioningly at the pair. Balthazar revised his guess of one week, there was no way they’d manage to stay secret for another seven days. He wouldn’t be surprised if they were outed before the end of the night, especially factoring dancing into the equation. He knew the girl who was scheduled to play at eight, and he could probably persuade her to play some slow songs. This was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out to be fairly long, my biology is suffering. But hey, who needs to know about lymph nodes when there's Pedrazar to be writing, amirite?


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may want to listen to this song before reading, in fact I strongly recommend it:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7Gf2SOmz5Q

There was a surprisingly large crowd in the café by the time eight o’clock rolled around, and the staff ended up clearing half the tables away. The first few minutes of the official dancing time were a bit awkward, but then Rosanna, the on-duty musician started playing some crowd favourites, and the floor filled up pretty fast. Balthazar found himself dragged, along with the rest of the group, into the middle by Meg once ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ began, and before he could catch his breath half an hour had passed.

He ducked out to get a drink, followed by Claudio.

“This is so much fun,” Claudio clapped him on the back as they waited for some water.

“Thank you,” Louis butted in from behind the counter, handing them their drinks, “it was my idea.”

“You didn’t tell me that,” Balthazar said indignantly.

“I wanted to see how it played out before I committed my name to it,” he shrugged.

“Well it definitely played out well, great idea man,” Claudio told him seriously.

“Cheers,” he moved on to serve somebody else.

“So,” Claudio began, leaning back against the counter as they sipped their water, “when are you going to make your move on Pedro?”

“Ugh is it really that obvious?”

“Dude he spent half the time at the table literally murdering Louis with his eyes, and then he stared at you for like a million years, you guys aren’t exactly being subtle about it.”

“You may have a point there.”

“Oh I definitely do. Now what are you going to do about it eh?” he nudged.

“I don’t know to be honest, I’m just planning on letting it play out.”

“No no no,” Claudio leaned forward seriously, “that won’t work with Pedro. He’s confident and all, don’t get me wrong, but unless you push him there is no way he’ll make the move, for want of a less cringey expression.”

“Is that so?” That was actually some pretty useful information. “What would you suggest?”

“I don’t know, I’m terrible at this stuff, but I’m sure you’ll think of something. It’s not like you have to worry about him saying no, so you might as well just ask him outright.”

“Yeah maybe.”

“You sound so enthused with the idea.”

“No, it’s just… well I don’t know really. We’ll see how it plays out.”

“Okay, but just remember that every second you waste is a second you could be spending doing something else, if you catch my drift,” he winked.

“Knitting him a scarf,” Balthazar said seriously.

“Is that a euphemism?”

“Oh shut up.”

“Fine, let’s go back out.”

Balthazar glanced at Rosanna thoughtfully for a moment.

“You know what, you go ahead,” he told Claudio, “I’ll be right behind you.”

“Why, where are you going?”

“I think I might request a song.”

“Then why do you look so devious?”

“It’s my natural state. Now go! Dance! Make merry!”

“Whatever you say, see you later.”

Balthazar waved him off, picking his way across the room to Rosanna, who was leaning back against the wall awaiting the end of the song. She was a DJ, and while it was kind of odd for her to be DJ-ing in a coffee shop, he certainly wasn’t complaining, not with her bank of music at his disposal.

“Hey Balthazar.”

“Hey Rosie, any chance I could request a song?”

“Sure, what do you want?”

“What do you have in the way of slow songs?”

That earned him some raised eyebrows and a smirk. “Why,” she asked, “looking to impress a special someone?”

“Nope, I’m here with some friends, and two of them are rather hopeless. I think they might benefit from some slow dancing.”

“You’re a mastermind Balthazar, I think I have just the thing. Ever heard “All About Us” by He Is We?”

“Can’t say I have, no.”

“Well trust me, it’s perfect. Now you scurry on and I’ll play it after this, so in about two minutes.”

“Thanks Rosie, I owe you one.”

“You do indeed, now shoo.”

He plunged back into the crowd to find Bea and Ben before the song started. He wouldn’t force them to do anything they didn’t want to do, obviously, but maybe if they were standing near each other when the music started playing, they’d find themselves caught up in the moment or something to that effect. Heck, even some loving glances would be worth it.

“Balthy,” Ursula called out to him. Ah perfect, there was the gang.

“Oh hey guys, I was just looking for you.”

“Did you get your song?” Claudio asked. Shit.

“What song?” he shook his head as subtly as he could manage, trying to communicate to Claudio to shut up.

“The song you requested.”

“I didn’t request any song.”

Please drop it, please drop it, he crossed his fingers.

“But you said…” he trailed off, and Balthazar could see the cogs turning in his brain. “I mean yeah,” he backtracked, “what am I talking about, there was no song. Let’s dance guys!”

He moved away, shooting Balthazar an apologetic look from behind the others.

“What was that about?” Hero asked, but right at that moment the music changed, and he was spared having to answer.

“Oh I love this song!” Ursula exclaimed, swaying. “It’s not very dance-y though.”

“Nonsense!” Hero told her suddenly, dragging her out of the circle. “Every song is a dance-y song, I can prove it!” They moved away, Ursula laughing at her attempts.

“ _Take my hand, I'll teach you to dance,_  
 _I'll spin you around, won't let you fall down_.”

Balthazar looked at his targets as subtly as he could, only to find them awkwardly looking anywhere but at each other.

“ _Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet,_  
 _Give it a try, it'll be alright_.”

Oh, that got their attention, or Ben’s at least. Out of the corner of his eye Balthazar saw him studying Beatrice, a curious look on his face.

“ _The room's hush hush and now's our moment,_  
 _Take it in, feel it all and hold it._ ”

The chorus started, and Ben visibly steeled himself, before holding out his hand to a rather shocked looking Beatrice.

“Fuck this, let’s jam,” he said, undoubtedly aiming for confident, but barely managing a croak.

She stared at him for a long second before shrugging.

“Fine whatever. We’re dating guys,” she announced, before grabbing his hand. They moved away, leaving Pedro staring after them looking shocked. Balthazar looked around to see what Meg thought, only to find she had left him alone with Pedro.

“Are they? Like I meant they were obvious and everything, but oh my god!” Pedro exclaimed, turning back to him. His face changed when he realised they were alone, and for once Balthazar wasn’t the one looking like a deer in headlights.

“ _Suddenly I'm feeling brave,_  
 _Don't know what's got into me,_  
 _Why I feel this way._ ”

Balthazar had not anticipated this side effect to his cunning plan. In his head they had been caught up in aw-ing at Bea and Ben and that was the end of it, but now it was just the two of them, and the lyrics were terrifyingly relevant. He watched Pedro swallow, and it felt like he was seeing the world through a haze. They stood in silence, staring at each other, until suddenly Balthazar was pushed forward from behind, and he grabbed onto Pedro without thinking to stop himself falling. He could vaguely hear the sound of Meg laughing behind them, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The two of them were effectively dancing, albeit with zero skill or coordination; Balthazar had his hands on Pedro’s arms, and they were swaying in place, both of them too busy staring at each other to take a step back, not that they wanted to, at least Balthazar didn't.

“ _'Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love,_  
 _Spotlight's shining, it's all about us._ ”

Yup, his plan had well and truly backfired on him, but he couldn’t have been happier. He was still feeling slightly dazed; over a minute had passed and they were still ‘dancing’.

“ _This is a feeling I've never felt,_  
 _But it's all, it's all about us_.”

The song ended, and something a bit jazzier started playing. They maintained their eye contact for a few seconds more, before Pedro finally looked away. What did that mean? Did he want to take it back, had Balthazar mis-read the situation completely? Surely not, everyone he’d talked to had told him Pedro was completely taken with him too, but then why had he looked away? Was he reading too far into this? He felt like he was, but everything was feeling really intense, and he had slow-danced with Pedro, and the world was great, and he was still kind of swaying, and…

“Balthazar?” Pedro asked cautiously, drawing him out of his thoughts.

“Mmmm?” he was having trouble forming words.

“Do you want to… go outside with me?”

That could mean anything, anything at all. Pedro could be asking him outside to murder him for all he knew, he shouldn’t presume anything.

“Yeah, yeah sure,” he replied, not trusting himself with more than monosyllables.

Pedro nodded, before turning and heading for the door, Balthazar trailing in his wake. He paused for a second before stepping outside, letting the cool air wash over him. Oh wait, that was just the blast from the air conditioning; the outside temperature was actually far warmer than inside, and was made all the warmer by Pedro's presence. He took a deep breath before sitting down beside him on the bench outside the café.

He could do this - probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so incredibly cliché and I have zero regrets.


	27. Chapter 27

“Hey,” Pedro said softly.

“Hey yourself.”

This was surprisingly difficult. Not that he had spent too long thinking about it, but in his head everything had always just fallen into place, and before he knew it they were making out. Real life, however, wasn’t a fan of his fantasies – rude. Instead it involved sitting on a rather uncomfortable bench, both of them staring at their hands searching for the right words.

“So Bea and Ben eh?” Pedro chuckled nervously. “Who’d have known?”

“I knew actually,” he admitted. “I overheard them talking about it the other day.”

That sounded a bit better than _I saw them coming out of a bathroom discussing the practicality of making out in the bath._

“What?” Pedro turned to him sharply. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“They asked me to keep it a secret,” he shrugged, “I wasn’t going to go around blabbing it out to every Tom Dick or Peter that happened to be nearby.”

“Alright, I guess I can accept that.”

“Besides, that’s why I requested that song tonight, to see if they’d do anything, so I wasn’t completely avoiding the situation.”

“Oh…” Pedro seemed to deflate slightly. That was strange.

“What’s that tone for?”

“What tone? There was no tone,” he replied quickly, his voice the definition of defensive.

“There was definitely a tone, you’re not getting that past me.”

“It’s just… nothing,” he sighed.

Balthazar leaned forward, forcing Pedro to acknowledge him. “Cut the crap Donaldson, you were going to say something and I want to know what it was.”

“No seriously, it’s nothing.”

“Pedro…” he said softly, resting his hand on the other boy's knee. Hopefully that came off as comforting rather than suggestive, though he supposed that wouldn't be the end of the world.

“Okay, it’s just…” he paused, “I know this is going to sound stupid, but I kind of thought you had a different reason for requesting that song, that’s all. I heard Claudio’s terrible attempts at covering it up, and I jumped to some conclusions, then after Meg pushed you and we were, well you know,” he gestured, “I just misread the situation, no biggie.”

Oh dear lord that boy was dense. Did he really think Balthazar wasn’t interested in him after all of that? It took some genuine talent to be that oblivious.

“Pedro are you for real? Do you honestly think that I wa-”

He was cut off by his ringtone, and he sighed as he dug his phone out of his pocket. Whoever it was had better be dying, and if they were they had the worst timing in history. Hmmm, it was Rosa, that was odd, she didn’t usually call him.

“Sorry,” he apologised, “I have to take this, it could be important.”

Pedro nodded, a dark look on his face for some reason. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

“Hey Rosa,” he said, accepting the call.

“Balthy can you come home?” she sounded hysterical. Oh shit.

“Rosa, what’s wrong?” he pressed the phone to his ear as if that would hurry her response. There was a shuffling sound on her end of the line, and then a scream. Oh holy crap, what was happening?

“Rosa!”

“I just… Just come home and I’ll explain,” she hung up.

He instantly panicked, his mind running through every terrifying possibility he could think of. The house could be on fire, there could be a murderer on the loose, she could be seriously injured, the list was endless. One thing he did know, however, was that he had to get home as fast as possible.

“Pedro I’m sorry, I have to go, Rosa said it’s an emergency.”

It was extraordinarily selfish of him, but Rosa really did have the worst timing. She couldn’t have waited just another ten minutes so he could have some confirmation?

“No, yeah, that’s fine, you have to go obviously,” Pedro said, not quite meeting his eyes.

“Thanks for understanding,” he turned to leave, before stopping. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He had foregone any semblance of cool a long time ago, but he honestly didn’t care.

“Yeah maybe,” Pedro replied with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. Balthazar wanted nothing more than to stay and talk, because he was pretty sure they had their wires crossed somewhere. That, or he, and everybody else, had completely misread Pedro’s feelings, but he refused to accept that version of events, because he was panicked enough as it was.

“Okay I really have to go,” he rushed, “goodbye, I like you.”

He turned and ran.

Four and a half minutes later, a time he was rather proud of, he was back at his house. He threw open the door, but proceeded with caution. Nothing seemed to be on fire, that was good, and he didn’t see any blood trails, so nobody had been dramatically murdered, but you couldn’t be too careful. The house seemed eerie - everything was quiet, and it felt like something could lunge out at him at any moment. He made his way towards the kitchen, and was just about to step over the threshold before a voice came from behind him, causing him to jump out of his skin.

“Balthy!”

He spun around, expecting a murder, or an evil clown, and the two seconds it took for him to recognise Rosa were the longest of his life.

“Rosa!” he hugged her in relief. “What happened? Are you okay? Are mum and dad okay? Is it nana, oh god it’s nana isn’t it?”

“No, no Balthy calm down,” she looked rather alarmed.

“You said it was an emergency,” he shouted, “where is the emergency?”

Was he panicking? He felt like he was panicking. Surely his voice wasn’t always this shrill, and usually he couldn’t hear the blood pumping through his head, and maybe his legs were feeling a little weak, but that was probably just because of the running, and were his ears ringing? Was that an everyday occurrence? Oh god, he felt tired, but also like he could run a marathon, maybe he should just sleep, or jump around a bit, that was how these things worked right? Oh, Rosa was talking to him. Why couldn’t he hear her? Her mouth was moving but he couldn’t hear her, what the hell was happening?

They were moving, they were definitely moving, Rosa was pulling his arm, and oh, that was the couch he had walked into, but suddenly his legs didn’t have to work anymore, and the cushions were soft, and he was beginning to breathe normally again, and air was good, air was his friend, oxygen and him went way back.

“That’s right Balthy, breath... In and out, just like that yeah,” Rosa told him, managing to sound both calm and worried at the same time. That wasn’t right, he should be the worried one.

“What the hell just happened?” he asked once he began thinking clearly again.

“I don’t know, I think I gave you a fright, and then you started shouting, but then you went pale, like _really_ pale, and started wobbling a bit, so I brought you over to the couch. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” he shook his head, “yeah I think I’m fine now, I must have just panicked or something.”

“Well yeah, you came barrelling in the door like a hurricane. I wasn’t expecting you home for ages anyway, I only called you like a minute ago,” she laughed.

That did not sound like somebody who was being murdered.

“You said it was an emergency on the phone, of course I rushed home, I literally sprinted up from the coffee shop.”

“I didn’t say it was an emergency.”

Stay calm, stay calm, he repeated to himself. Actually murdering your sister won’t get you anywhere.

“You _screamed,”_ he reminded her through gritted teeth, “and then hung up with no explanation, what was I supposed to think?”

“Oh, you thought it was an actual emergency. Well, no not quite,” she said, unable to meet his gaze.

He was having trouble keeping it together, but he absolutely refused to end his night by shouting at his sister, he was above that – probably. That other time had been panic-induced, there was no way he was at fault for that.

“Why did you want me home then?”

“Oh, well it seems rather silly now, but I broke mum’s crystal vase thing that she keeps on the windowsill in the kitchen, and I wanted your help to hide the evidence so I could buy her a new one before she noticed.”

He had been called away from Pedro for a broken vase, that was just _peachy_.

“Then why did you scream?”

“Oh, because Olly came running in, and there was glass, or crystal I guess, all over the floor, so I had to rush to keep him from hurting his paws.”

A broken vase and an almost-cut paw, this was getting better and better.

“So basically you’re telling me I left Pedro and sprinted home because you broke a vase, and Olly almost hurt his paw? Is that it? Actually, y’know what, don’t say anything, because I’m really pissed off right now and I get that it’s not technically your fault because you didn’t mean anything by it, but I might end up shouting and I don’t want to, so could you maybe give me some space, because I really need it.”

Rosa looked confused, but thankfully she accepted it, patting his arm in apology and heading back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up the glass. Balthazar massaged his temples, trying not to think about the evening. Why was he feeling down about it? Everything had gone really well, in fact better than he had ever imagined, yet he was left feeling glum. His set had been successful, the food had been great, his plan for Bea and Ben had worked perfectly, and things had escalated wonderfully between him and Pedro.

Actually no, their last conversation had been a bit odd. Pedro had seemed really standoffish after Rosa called, and when Balthazar had asked him if they could see each other tomorrow, he hadn’t sounded very enthusiastic about the prospect. That was definitely strange seeing as they had literally been slow-dancing five minutes before. Was he having second thoughts about the whole affair? That didn’t seem very probably, but it wasn't impossible. Ugh, why did everything have to be so complicated, why couldn’t they just fit?

He eventually decided to sleep on it, and talk to Pedro in the morning. It was past midnight, however, before he managed to drift off, and all he could think about was Pedro’s face as he had turned to leave.

He didn’t sleep well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was what happened at (slightly before) midnight.  
> Everything isn't quite wrapped up yet...


	28. Chapter 28

09:08 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Dude we need to talk.

09:42 Benedick to Balthy:  
                I get that you’re probably asleep but I still annoyed at your terrible texting-back skills.

10:03 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Oh my god are you hibernating? Hurry upppppppp!

10:14 Benedick to Balthy:  
                This is literally ridiculous.

10:23 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Okay I’m going to use this time productively…

10:25 Benedick to Balthy:  
                I was baking the other day right? And there were these two ingredients for my cake that I thought would go really well together, like _really_ well. They were all ready to go together, they looked like they were mixing fine, and then BOOM! Out of nowhere, one ingredient completely rejected the other one, despite the fact that every recipe book ever written said they would mix.

10:26 Benedick to Balthy:  
                 That was just a little story for you.

11:23 Benedick to Balthy:  
                I cannot believe this.

11:24 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Seriously…

11:24 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Dude…

11:25 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Wake…

11:25 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Up!!!!!!!

Balthazar groaned as he checked his messages. Not that Ben wasn’t great and everything, but he really didn’t feel like talking to anyone except maybe Pedro, and even that would have to wait until after a cup of coffee. Besides, it was only half eleven, that was still technically morning. He had practically fainted yesterday, he deserved his sleep, and there was absolutely no shame in having a nice lie-in. Ben was apparently an early riser - that wasn't at all surprising, but it turned out to be very annoying. What the heck even was that about a cake? Was that supposed to mean something? Was Ben baking him something? It was too early for this.

His phone beeped as he made his way downstairs.

11:34 Benedick to Balthy:  
                Okay this will be my last text, because I’m out of credit, but come to my house whenever you read this, it’s important. Hopefully you remember where it is, and Olly won't have to sniff it out again ;) But seriously, get your ass down to my house Jones, or there will be consequences (use a menacing voice for that bit please, I don’t care if you have to reread it) (also this is probably the longest text I’ve ever sent just so you know, you should feel honoured) (but also scared) (goodbye now).

Curse him. There was no way Balthazar would be able to avoid him now without feeling a crippling amount of guilt.

11:36 Balthy to Benedick:  
                Not all of us get up at ass o’clock in the morning Hobbes. I’ll be there in a half hour.

He considered adding a smiley-face, but something about it seemed insincere. There was nothing smiley about his mood, so he wasn’t going to pretend. Well actually he was, because his parents were in the kitchen and he didn’t need them asking about his life, but other than that there would be no pretending. There might as well be a grey cloud following him around, or maybe his steps would make the flowers wilt as he walked by. It was going to be a simply fabulous day, he could just feel it...

*

A little over the promised half hour later, he was knocking on Benedick’s door. Olly hadn’t been necessary; the memory of that day was still seared into his mind, so he had found the house without too much hassle. As for the reason behind his visit, he had a vague idea – Ben was obviously going to ask him about Pedro – but he wasn’t able to predict the tone of the conversation. Would it be angry? Questioning? Really happy for some unknown reason? Balthazar himself had no idea where they stood, so Ben could be anywhere on the scale.

“Oh hi, you’re finally here,” Ben greeted him, stepping aside to let him in.

“We’re not all early-birds,” he shrugged.

“Yeah well half eleven is just extravagant.”

“Speak for yourself, I got eleven hours sleep so I’m probably better off than you.”

“Yeah you look it.”

“Shut up.”

“No really man you look like shit, what’s up?” he asked, leading him through the house. Everything looked really lived-in, it was nice. It was also at a direct contrast to the high-ceilings of the Dukes’, but somehow Balthazar wasn’t surprised – it suited Ben.

“Nothing, I just had a bit of a rough night last night after I left.”

“Yeah you ran off pretty sharpish, is everything okay?” Ben flopped down on his bed once they reached his room, leaving Balthazar the sofa.

“Ugh yeah everything’s fine, I got a call from Rosa, my sister, saying there was an emergency, and then I ran home to find a broken vase.”

“Sisters am I right?”

“You’re an only child Ben…”

“I watch television! If ‘90s sitcoms don’t teach you about familial relationships, what does?”

“You have me there,” Balthazar said dryly.

“I’m going to ignore that tone, and move on to a more serious topic,” he began ominously. “Why on earth did you reject Pedro? I was under the impression you were really into him? Heck, had we somehow shown the pair of you to some aliens, even they would have thought there was something mutual going on. I mean you told me you liked him, and then I told him, so I feel partially responsible here – what gives?”

Wait a minute, Ben had told what to who?

“You told him I liked him?” he groaned. “Why would you do that?”

“Because you said you did!” Ben nearly shouted, clearly getting a bit worked-up. “You told me very clearly, I distinctly remember because I had just admitted to the whole Beatrice thing and I was feeling a bit victimised.”

“No, I mean yes, I definitely liked him, I definitely do like him – present tense -  but why would you tell him?”

“Oh, because how else were either of you going to grow up and ask each other out?”

“I… I definitely… I mean I had a plan,” he spluttered indignantly.

“Sure you did. You had a plan, and how did it end up? You liking Pedro in the present tense, and him thinking you don’t. As somebody who has made some terrible plans of my own over the years, I know one when I see one.”

He had to admit Ben had a point, but there was still one thing he didn’t quite understand.

“Wait, back up the truck for a second, why would he think I don’t like him, I told him I did.”

“I don’t know,” Ben shrugged, “our Pedro’s a bit dense when it comes to these things.”

“No, I mean I literally told him. _I like you_ , those exact words, there is no way he could misinterpret that.”

“That is odd, even for Pedro,” he admitted. “What did he say after that?”

“I don’t know, I had to run home to save Rosa from her bloody vase.”

Ben leaned back on his bed, massaging his forehead. “Dear lord, I don’t even understand how this is so messed up. You guys couldn’t have more chemistry if you tried, yet me and bloody Beatrice got together before you.”

“That’s Beatrice and I actually,” Balthazar replied automatically.

“Shut your goddamn mouth Jones.”

“Never. By the way, what was that about baking earlier? You texted me something about a cake?”

“Oh,” Ben laughed, “it was about you and Pedro. You guys were the ingredients, and you weren’t mixing together even though everyone said you would. I thought it was really clever actually.”

“Yeah clever, that’s the word I’m looking for.”

“You weren’t even awake, so I was way cleverer than you.”

“Is _cleverer_ even a word? It doesn’t sound right...”

“Don’t say that, you’ll hurt its feelings.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”

He had just genuinely apologised to a word, the day was developing into something truly odd. They sat in silence for a few minutes, each wrapped up in his own thoughts.

“I should ring Pedro,” Ben said after a while, jolting into action. Balthazar half expected to see a light bulb appear above his head.

“Your phone’s out of credit remember? Use mine.”

The call was excruciating difficult to judge from Ben’s side. He invited Pedro over, said “yes” a few times, then laughed before hanging up.

“So?” Balthazar asked, seeing as Ben wasn't offering any information readily.

“Oh yeah, sorry, he’ll be here in fifteen minutes.”

Fifteen minutes, that wasn’t too long. Oh crap, fifteen minutes wasn’t too long at all, in fact it was an incredibly short amount of time.

“What do I say?” he blurted, starting to panic.

“What do you mean? Just talk to him,” Ben looked bemused, and Balthazar couldn't blame him. He was definitely over-reacting, but there was no helping it. Pedro would probably be really awkward around him if he thought he had been rejected, and Ben hadn’t even mentioned that he was here too, oh dear lord this was going to be a mess.

“Relax Balthy, it’ll be fine,” Ben assured him.

He nodded back reassuringly, but he had his doubts. The call had gone through, however, so there was no going back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An alternative title for this chapter is "extended metaphors with Benedick Hobbes". Also fun-fact: this bit was planned entirely in Irish for some unknown reason. I checked my plan before writing, and there it was.


	29. Chapter 29

The doorbell rang. That couldn't possibly be Pedro, there was no way fifteen minutes had passed, that was ridiculous. However, it also felt like a million years had gone by since Ben had called him, so either they were trapped in some form of time vortex or he was incredibly nervous. It was definitely the former, that was the only possible explanation.

Okay maybe he was a little bit nervous but there was nothing wrong with that.

“Where are you going?” he asked Ben, who had stood up for some unknown reason. He looked rather startled at the question.

“Em… to open the door? You’re feeling a bit high-strung aren’t you?”

Incredibly so.

“Not at all.”

“Sure. Just try not to run away until I get back yeah?”

“I can probably manage that.”

Ben didn’t look like he shared the sentiment but he didn’t remark on it, thank God. There was only so much waiting Balthazar could manage.

How long did it take to get to the door and back anyway? It was a house not a labyrinth and David Bowie wasn’t going to come flying through the window any time soon to shower him with glitter, though that would be a talking point. One of the first conversations he’d had with Pedro had been about glitter, so it would bring them in a full circle.

“Yeah just in here,” he heard Ben say from outside.

They really were taking their time. Though Pedro probably wasn’t in a rush to see him if he thought he'd been rejected. The entire situation was just a mess.

“Will there be chocolate? I feel like there should be chocolate,” Pedro’s voice wafted towards him.

“Oh there’ll definitely be something sweet alright,” Ben chuckled, making Balthazar groan. That boy was something else.

The door finally cracked open and Pedro entered the room.

“That sounds awfully…” he trailed off, noticing Balthazar. Nobody moved for a second; Pedro was staring at Balthazar in shock, effectively blocking Ben from entering the room. Balthazar just stared right back – there was no way he was messing this up again. Pedro was going to leave this house recognising Balthazar’s feelings for him, or he wasn’t going to leave at all. 

“Pedro you oaf, I know Balthazar is the pinnacle of perfection and all that but get out of my bloody way,” Ben complained after what seemed like an eternity, shoving Pedro through the door.

Pedro fell. It was completely devoid of grace or sophistication and Balthazar burst out laughing at the sheer beauty of it.

“Don’t laugh at my pain, I could have been seriously injured,” Pedro moaned.

“Yeah I’m sure your pride took quite the beating.”

Pedro huffed in response. This was off to a positive start, it didn’t seem too awkward so far.

“So…” Ben began.

“So what?” Pedro asked pointedly. 

“Nothing,” he held up his hands in defence, “nothing at all.”

Silence fell between them, Ben and Pedro standing by the door and Balthazar on the couch. He had definitely spoken too soon about the awkwardness. Pedro kept glancing at him, but as soon as Balthazar made eye contact he would look away. The situation wasn't helped at all by Ben – his only contribution was to sigh dramatically as he looked between the two of them like they were a tennis match. It was seemingly endless and rather painful – exactly what he had hoped to avoid.

“Oh my God,” Ben exclaimed unexpectedly after a few minutes, making both Balthazar and Pedro jump. They stared at him accusingly.

“Before you ask, I will not apologise,” he continued, “because you’re both being idiots. Balthazar you know damn well that everything will be fine if you just explain the situation, so open your mouth and start talking. As for you,” he jabbed Pedro in the chest, “you will listen and you won’t jump to any conclusions until he’s finished. Are we clear?” he glared.

Pedro mumbled his acceptance. He was obviously more than a bit scared of Ben in this state, something he and Balthazar had in common.

“Fine,” Balthazar began before turning to Pedro. “I don’t know where we got our wires crossed, but I really like you. As in I like-like you, I have a super-massive crush on you, you are the object of my affections, etcetera etcetera.”

There, it was out in the open and there were no possible misinterpretations.

“Really?” Pedro asked looking adorably vulnerable.

“Really. I promise, I'll pinky-swear, I will literally say it in a court of law - I, Balthazar Jones, have non-platonic feelings for you, Pedro Donaldson.”

“Then why did you straight up reject me last night?”

How had he reached that conclusion? Balthazar had replayed the night’s events several times in his mind and he couldn’t come up with a single reason.

“I didn’t, I have no clue why you thought I did.”

“You did though. I was talking about how I thought our dancing had been a moment and that we might have had something, when you straight up shut me down.”

“No I didn’t, what are you talking about?”

“You said you requested that song for Ben and Bea and the-”

“You what?” Ben interrupted indignantly. “You requested that song for us? Balthazar you’re devious and I should shut up now,” he finished sheepishly.

“Yes,” Pedro continued after glaring at Ben, “so you told me that and then I explained how I thought you requested it so we could dance because you might have been into me. That's when you shut me down. You asked me was I being serious, and did I honestly think that.”

What? He had absolutely no recollection of that. Wait actually... oh god he remembered now, Pedro had completely misunderstood what he'd been getting at. 

“Okay firstly you did not say you thought I was into you, you mumbled a play by play of the evening and then said you misread some signals. I knew what you meant though, because I remember thinking you were really dense for not realising how stupidly into you I was , but my phone rang before I could tell you that. I did, however, explicitly tell you I liked you, so please explain how you managed to ignore that...”

“You didn’t say that.”

“I so did! I literally said _I like you -_  I used those exact words!”

“Oh I thought that was your way of saying we could still be friends.”

“Of course you did,” he shook his head, “you really are terrible at this.”

“Hey, you’re obviously not much good either if I misread you to that degree.”

“I maintain that it’s all your fault.”

“That just isn’t true _Stanley._ I think you could have handled the situation far better.”

“Oh is that right _Peter_?” he grinned.

“It is yeah.”

“I think you’re lying.”

“Oh? What are you going to do about that?” Pedro asked him intensely. Balthazar gulped.

Ben chose that moment to cough loudly, drawing their attention away from each other.

“I’m going to go into the kitchen to get a drink,” he said, “and I might be a while. I also have to, I don’t know, cook or something, maybe read War and Peace. The point is I won’t be here and I won’t have to listen to your flirting. Also, and I cannot stress this enough, _please_ keep it PG because I have to sleep in here.”

Balthazar laughed at Pedro’s crimson face.

“Don’t worry,” he assured, “we’ll just be talking.”

Ben nodded, standing up to leave. “I’m going to leave the door open.”

“Okay mom,” Pedro teased. Ben’s hand reappeared momentarily to give him the finger.

“Are we really just going to talk?” Pedro asked Balthazar after a few seconds.

“Of course not,” he replied.

“I heard that!” Ben shouted from the kitchen, making both of them cringe.

“Good!” Balthazar yelled back at him before turning to Pedro. “Now it appears we're finally on the same page, so how about we get started with the talking?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Pedro said as he sat down beside them.

There was absolutely no talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brings the Word document for the story passed 100 pages which is incredibly cool. (that's size 11 calibri font for the nit-pickers out there)


	30. Chapter 30

“Guys I'm coming in now,” Ben knocked on the door, “please don’t be doing anything inappropriate.”

He needn't have worried, technically everything was still PG. Wait, PG movies allowed making out for extended periods coupled with the odd conversation didn’t they? Balthazar wasn’t too sure. Okay maybe they might have pushed to a 13’s rating, but that was definitely the limit.

He grinned at Pedro’s flushed face and messy hair. That was due to him and he was beyond pleased with himself. Pedro was also looking pretty amused so Balthazar was probably in the same state. There was no way he was complaining though, this was infinitely preferable to leaving with perfect hair.

“Oh come in Ben, stop being such a drama queen!”

“Without my drama I’m nothing,” he said as he tentatively poked his head around the door. “Anyway, I’m interrupting you because I’ve made what is perhaps the greatest discovery in the history of mankind.”

He paused, looking at them expectantly.

“What did you find?” Balthazar asked as he was obviously supposed to.

“Well I’m glad you asked. I found…” he paused again for dramatic effect – it didn’t work. “I found one of my old karaoke games.”

Pedro shot upright on the couch.

“Singstar?” he asked intensely.

“Singstar,” Ben confirmed.

“Let’s do it.”

Ten minutes later they were all set up and Balthazar was feeling a bit sceptical. The game was _Singstar ‘80s_ , there were three microphones, and both Pedro and Ben were incredibly excited.

“Balthy I promise you are going to love this it’s so much fun. Oh my god you should pick the song because it’s your first time playing, go on have a scroll,” Ben told him, the level of enthusiasm in his voice hitting peak levels. He was actively bouncing beside Pedro whose grin was bordering on demonic.

“Okay,” he accepted the controller.

There was no denying it, the game had a pretty good selection of songs. In fact he was having trouble picking just one. Then all of a sudden a song floated across the screen and his decision was made for him.

“Eye of the Tiger.”

“Balthazar you are my hero,” Pedro told him solemnly. “Let’s do this.”

What followed was perhaps the greatest four minutes and five seconds of Balthazar’s life. Once they were finished there was no longer a single sceptical bone in his body - he was converted to a devout Singstar worshipper and he wouldn’t stray from this path for the rest of his life. There was no going back.

“How did you win?” Ben slumped back, an aghast expression on his face as the final bars of the song faded out. “You’ve never played this before how on earth did you beat both of us? We played this every day for an entire summer one year, you can’t just waltz in a kick our asses like that!”

“Apparently I can,” Balthazar said smugly.

“No I refuse to accept that,” Ben marched determinedly over to his shelf of games. “Let’s see,” he muttered, “it’s here somewhere. Aha! Got it! Balthazar consider this your official warning – you are about to lose.”

He held up his find triumphantly – it was _Singstar Pop Hits_. This was going to be interesting.

“Ben is this what I think it is?” Pedro asked. He sounded almost reverent.

“You bet it is.”

He whistled. “Okay Balthy, you’re going down. There is literally no way you can beat us at this. Ben load the disk.”

Balthazar was well and truly intrigued. They were clearly talking about a song they had plenty of practise at, but what was it? He leaned forward in anticipation as Ben scrolled through the choices.

“You ready Balthy?”

“You bet I am, it's on.”

“Okay then you asked for it. Our next song is the one, the only… well I’ll let it speak for itself shall I?”

He selected the song with such speed that Balthazar wasn’t able to read the title. Only when the opening bars of _Baby One More Time_ started playing did he realise what they were about to do.

“Oh yes,” he grinned.

“Take notes Jones, because we are about to wipe the floor with your sorry ass,” Pedro stood up, cracking his knuckles.

“You might be surprised.”

“Oh no,” Ben said, “trust me there is no way you’re going to beat either of us. We own this song, Britney was literally the soundtrack to our lives back when we were fourteen. We are professionals at this.”

“ _Oh baby, baby…_ ” the song began and Balthazar quickly realised just how out of his depth he was.

They were a force of nature. They weren’t hitting the notes - the notes were trying to keep up with them. Britney herself would have been jealous. He felt vaguely honoured to be in the presence of such genius, let alone be singing alongside them. However, if he thought they had started out well he was in for a shock – that was nothing compared to the chorus.

“ _My loneliness is killing me,  
I must confess, I still believe_ …”

Dear lord it was phenomenal. Balthazar tried to keep up, he really did, but they were on another level. He watched their scores increase almost exponentially compared to his, and his was quite respectable so that was saying something. Pedro was somehow hitting the backing vocals as well, his face screwed up in concentration. That was where Balthazar had placed his affections and he didn’t regret a thing.

The song ended and Ben turned to Pedro for a well-deserved high five. They had only dropped one hundred points between them which sounded like a lot until you considered that each player was scored out of ten thousand.

“I don’t know what to say,” Balthazar told them, “but that was a work of art.”

“Damn right it is,” Ben replied. “I can’t even explain how much work went in to achieving that, we poured hours of our time into that song. That’s not even our high score, Beatrice once hit 9980.”

“She maintains that she only lost the twenty points because Ben coughed and distracted her,” Pedro added.

“That’s a filthy lie and I will deny it to the grave.”

“Suit yourself.”

“Hey guys,” Balthazar said, “I was sceptical. But I must confess, I now believe,” he sang.

“That was pathetic,” Pedro told him with an exceptionally fond look on his face.

“You’re in no place to judge _Peter_.”

“Really _Stanley_? As one of the principal Baby One More Time authorities on the planet, I am most definitely in a place to judge.”

“Pedro,” Ben said slowly, “did he just call you Peter? More importantly, did you just let him call you Peter without yelling at him? You didn’t even glare!”

“Oh yeah, that kind of happened,” Pedro chuckled.

“Yeah,” Balthazar agreed. “We did say we’d never use those names because we were both too intimidating but neither of us stuck to that bargain.”

Pedro looked straight at him, an oddly intense look on his face.

“Hey,” he said seriously after a moment. “You know how we’re both so intimidating? Can we start intimi- _dating_?”

There was a moment of silence as they all absorbed his words. Balthazar opened his mouth to reply but Ben beat him too it.

“Did you just?” he exclaimed. “Did you actually just do that? You asked him out on a pun, that is both the best and the worst thing I’ve ever heard! Pedro Donaldson I didn’t think you had it in you. I’ve never been so proud,” he pretended to wipe away a tear.

He continued rambling but Pedro wasn’t listening to him – his full attention was on Balthazar.

“Sure,” Balthazar whispered.

Pedro's demonic grin was back but Balthazar’s was probably the same so he was in no position to judge. They had finally managed to get past the seemingly endless hiccups between them and he couldn't be happier.

“I’m never going to let you forget that pun,” he said once Ben eventually fell silent.

“I would hope not,” Pedro replied, “I’ve been wanting to use it ever since that conversation about names.”

That was oddly sweet. That didn't mean, however, that Balthazar wasn't going to tease him mercilessly about it.

“You're a dork.”

“Yeah well joke's on you, you're dating a dork.”

“I wouldn't have it any other way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Pedro's Singstar experience is directly based on my own, except my song was "Karma Chameleon" by Boy George. Other notable songs of mine include Madonna's "Material Girl" and "Heaven is a Place on Earth" by Belinda Carlisle. That game was my life.  
> Also the "intimi-dating" pun literally came to me in a dream and I wrote it down at 3am so I wouldn't forget. It was so worth it.


	31. Chapter 31

Ben’s car turned the corner into Balthazar’s street and he found himself thinking back on the first time he’d been in this position. He had been waiting for a lift to their first picnic; he hadn’t even met Meg, Hero, Claudio, or Beatrice at that point and him and Pedro had only just been introduced. It was hard to believe that was a whole month ago; it seemed like several years had passed. Time was an odd concept.

“Hop on in,” Ben called out the window as he pulled in.

“Thanks again for the lift man.”

“Oh it’s no problem. I have to pick up Pedro now but I doubt you have any complaints about that.”

“You’re not wrong there.”

“You two are disgusting you do know that right?” Ben told him in the mirror as he started towards the Donaldsons’ house.

“Us?” Balthazar asked incredulously. “What about you and Beatrice? You guys are always cuddling and stuff, there’s no way you can can complain about me and Pedro.”

“As a reasonably wise man once told me, it’s _Pedro and I_.”

“Don’t quote me at me. Also I am _exceedingly_ wise thank you very much.”

“Whatever you say, I won’t burst your bubble. Now go knock for your gross boyfriend and tell him he has terrible time management skills because he’s never ready on time.”

“Don’t I know it,” he huffed as his belt clicked open. “I’ll be back in a second. Or maybe ten years if Pedro is to be counted on.”

True to form he spent five minutes waiting in Pedro’s hall before they were on the road again. Ben didn’t appreciate it.

“I can’t believe you Pedro, I said half past two and it’s already quarter to three, you’re despicable!”

“Sorry,” Pedro shrugged from beside Balthazar in the back seat.

Balthazar could feel the movement beside him, something that never failed to make him smile. Sure he complained about Bea and Ben being extravagantly cuddly but him and Pedro didn’t exactly have a clean sheet either as far as public contact was concerned. They weren’t half as bad as the other two though – they inevitably ended up arguing loudly which made everybody notice their intense proximity, whereas Balthazar and Pedro kept themselves quiet and it would usually take a few minutes before anybody remarked on their closeness. Not that they minded really - it was just some light-hearted teasing. Meg tended to go all out with Bea and Ben though; apparently Beatrice had a history of complaining whenever Meg and her previous boyfriend had shown any form of public affection, so she was getting her own back.

“Hey Balthy where’s your ukulele?” Ben asked him suddenly.

Oh crap. He hadn’t lost it had he? No, he knew exactly where it was – lying on his kitchen table where he had oh so carefully placed it so that it wouldn't end up forgotten. Great plan Balthazar-of-the-past, great plan.

“I may have left it at home,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Balthy no!” Ben exclaimed dramatically. “Don’t you know we’re just using you for your music? Now we have to talk to you without any payment, how could you do this to us?”

“You wound me.”

“Good. If your ukulele was here I would poke you repeatedly with it.”

“But if my ukulele was here then you wouldn’t have any reason to want to poke me with it.”

“It’s a paradox,” Ben said simply. "I’m complicated like that.”

“Well I’m not using you for your music,” Pedro said, slinging his arm around Balthazar’s shoulders.

“What are you using me for then?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “Is it my incomparable good looks? I mean I can't blame you for that.”

“You’ve got a rather high opinion of yourself don’t you?”

“You see I have this boyfriend – he’s a bit of a loser but he’s absolutely amazing at stroking my ego.”

“Among other things right?”

“Oh my god!” Ben shouted from the front. “Shut up! You absolutely cannot complain about Bea and I anymore, we are so much better than you guys. As far as I know we’ve never left anybody needing to bleach their brain! Bleurgh, I am never going to be able to un-hear that, you guys are the worst!”

“Sorry man I forgot you were there,” Pedro huffed, his face steadily reddening. It was a rather common look for him.

“Really? I’m giving you a lift out of the kindness of my heart and you just forget about me? Now I’m the wounded one.”

“Oh shush, you know we appreciate you.”

“Yeah I do. You better keep telling me though because I might forget.”

“Noted.”

“Anyway we’re here," he said pulling into the park. “You guys are welcome for the lift by the way, it was a huge hardship on my part but I made the sacrifice for you because I’m just so giving.”

“You really are a saint Ben,” Balthazar smiled as they parked.

“Nah I’m the Pope don’t you remember?”

“How could I forget?”

“I know. That was the night I first admitted I liked Beatrice to somebody other than myself.”

“A momentous occasion,” Pedro quipped.

“Don’t trivialise my emotions!”

“Fine. Benedick you’re a bloody saint and your emotions are worthwhile. I love you forever and you’re the light of my life, now can you please unlock the car so we can get out?”

“Oh yeah sorry, I thought it was open.”

“You thought wrong.”

“Shush. Just for that you can be the one to carry the heavy stuff from the boot.”

“Don’t act like I wasn’t going to be doing that anyway.”

“You can prove nothing. Now let’s go.”

Balthazar listened to this with a smile as he clambered out of the car. They had come a long way in a month and despite the hiccups he was definitely happy with how they had ended up. Look at him getting all sentimental, that was unexpected. It was definitely true though.

“Hey guys we’re over here,” Hero yelled, jolting him out of his thoughts.

“Be right there, just have to unload the stuff,” he called back, flashing her a thumbs up for good measure.

He made his way back to Ben and Pedro as they unloaded the boot.

“Balthy you can take the blanket and stuff,” Pedro delegated as he hefted the picnic basket out.

“Got it. Ben you’re going to have to carry the ice box.”

“But I did the driving!”

“Yeah well we’ve only got four hands between us so you don’t have a choice.”

“Ugh fine.”

They made their way over to the others with their respective loads, setting up the picnic in almost an exact mirror of a month previously. The last time had been fun but Balthazar was willing to bet that this one would be even better. Meg made a face as he slouched back into Pedro, laughing as Ursula peered at them through a her fingers arranged in the shape of a heart.

“You’re adorable,” she teased.

“Damn right we are, don’t you forget it.”

Yeah this was definitely better. He must remember to thank Olly when he got home – his resolution may have ended up in tatters but some good definitely came of it. Even if he could somehow build a time machine he wouldn’t change a thing. Wait, what if there was a Nobel Prize involved - would he really give that up for a picnic? He glanced around at the others - Pedro was behind him, Meg and Ursula were chatting about roller-skating, Ben was throwing grapes at Hero, and Claudio and Beatrice were having a thumb war. 

Screw the Nobel Prize, this was all he wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's that, it's finished! In a simply mind boggling turn of events I didn't miss a single day of LLF, and I even managed to stick (loosely) to the prompts. I didn't plan to write this much - I actually meant to write a couple of oneshots and leave it at that - but I'm definitely happy with how everything turned out.  
> Thanks to everyone who left comments and kudos and stuff, I hope you liked the ending!


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